Raise Your Standards

I’ve never been one to settle- settling down, settling for less, settling for something I knew wasn’t right for me.

However, I’ve definitely lowered my standards- even if it was only temporary.

In the past, I have accepted the way I have been treated by others even though I knew I deserved better.  I have communicated what I wanted or needed at the moment, yet felt guilty for expressing my true feelings.  I used to take all of the blame when things didn’t work out.

I spent Sunday with a dear friend, who told me about the weekend she had with a guy she has been seeing.  She already had a rough week and his behavior made her feel uncomfortable.  He was impatient with her, didn’t listen to her needs and insisted on certain things that she didn’t like.  She stated this to him, yet he turned it around on her and threatened to leave.

She thought it was all her fault.

Feeling emotionally depleated, she asked me what she did wrong.  We talked about their conversations, particularly one they had at dinner, and I was left with one conclusion: he has issues that have nothing to do with you.

Why do we take all of the blame?  Why do we immediately insist that we are the ones at fault?  I’ve learned this recently in my own relationships- I realized that I can’t fix people, despite being healthy, grounded and supportive.

People have to fix themselves on their own.

I’ve definitely continued to date the same type of person- charismatic, intelligent, funny; yet sneaky.  For whatever reason, I continue to do the same thing over and over expecting a different result.  If it didn’t work then, why would it work now?

My life is very full, and I have an amazing support system.  Getting mixed up with other people who don’t have my best interest at heart is not something I need in my life now, or ever.  My suggestion for my friend?  “Focus on yourself.  Stop with these guys.  Your work and home life will become much more clear once you focus on yourself, not try to pick up someone else’s pieces.”

Now, I just need to follow my own advice.  It’s a new moon, after all. 🌙

Summer Style in the City

It has been a beautiful summer in Boston!  I was born and raised along the shores of Lake Michigan (which is hard to beat) and I’m thrilled to be living on the East Coast where Nantucket, Martha’s Vineyard and the Cape are right at my fingertips.  I can’t  imagine living in a place where I didn’t have water all around me; it’s my source of inspiration, peace, and is perfect for my morning meditation.  

Boston is also known for its beautiful neighborhoods, lush parks, lovely architecture and rich history, so my summer has been filled with exploring and photographing the beauty around me.  Although I haven’t made it to the beach yet, I’ve enjoyed many days in Boston Common, along the Charles River and strolling through the Seaport District.

I spent the past three summers in New York City, where humidity is much more fierce than here in New England.  My go-to ensemble– the little black dress and oversized sunglasses- still suits me well for any occasion; work, play or for a night out.

Some may say to avoid black in the summer due to the heat, but I highly disagree.  There’s nothing chicer and easier than throwing on a black sundress, bangles and shades, complete with a bright bag and lipstick.

What’s your summer style?

HAIRaising with Gretta

Over the weekend I have had a blast gearing up for this week’s HAIRaising event with the Grettacole Copley team!  The chic Back Bay salon is one of Gretta Monahan’s Boston-area businesses, where she and her team styles everyone from celebrities to the Mom next door. 

Gretta can frequently be seen on Rachael Ray, The View, and is an author, mother, and style-preneur.  Working with the Gretta team is right up my alley, and I couldn’t be more thrilled.

I am grateful to have the opportunity to help with the event and the cause, which benefits Boston Children’s Hospital.  This Thursday, July 27th, the Gretta team will be hosting a Paint Night filled with fun, prizes, lite bites and beverages!  The event is $60 per person and will be the perfect chance to get creative for a cause.

In addition to a raffle, Grettacole will be selling gift bags all week long.  Stop by the Copley salon to beautifully benefit the Boston Children’s Hospital.  For $15, you will receive a lovely goodie bag filled with stylish surprises.  I have hand selected some of my favorite finds to spruce up your summer look.

The bags are perfect for birthday or bridesmaid gifts, back to school or simply to treat yourself!  Live beautifully to benefit a wonderful cause.

You can learn more about the event here, and RSVP by calling the salon at 617-266-6166.  Hope to see you there!