be brave

My orchid, May 2016

This morning I went for a walk through my neighborhood with my coffee, per usual.  Still dark outside at 5:30AM, the world was asleep- but I was full of thoughts.

I thought about everything I am grateful for- one of the other ways I start each day.  Then, something hit me: I’m grateful for balance.

A lot has changed in my life this past year.  It’s taken me a good fourteen months to get acclimated to my Massachusetts life, and after a year of trials and tribulations (and a lot of life lessons), I finally feel settled.


I joked with my friend Brenda last week that I’m becoming more like her.  A type-A Capricorn like me (minus my firey Sagittarius side), she writes all of her commitments on her calendar, fills her time with hobbies and passions, works two jobs she loves, and is constantly engaging in self-development.  She’s introduced me to authors such as Brené Brown and Danielle LaPorte, filled me in on her experience with her coach, brought me to yoga, and inspired me to live a healthier life.  She believed in me when I wasn’t sure what I believed in- and I am forever grateful for this.

It’s true, everything comes into your life at exactly the right time.  Brenda came into mine my first week in Boston when I responded to her Craigslist ad for a roommate.  The very first apartment I went to see, I knew from the moment she opened the door it would be a welcoming, cozy home.  Never did I imagine I would learn so much from her, Clarissa the cat, and the other roommates who lived with us for those six months.

Betty Who

Who Crew

Although I’ve moved on to my own little studio on the second floor of a Medford home, I will always hold The Nest in Arlington close to my heart.  Brenda helped teach me balance, love, and following your passion.  When I moved last July, I left my orchid with her- I knew she would take care of it and help it blossom again, just like she did with me.  I was pleased to see it did bloom indeed- and looked better than ever.

That’s how I feel, too.

I realized how important balance is.  My life typically used to be terribly lop-sided- I would put all of my energy into one area, be it work, relationships, or my writing.  Nothing worked when I lived that way.  Today, I have a little bit of everything- a full time job, comedy school, my blog, the other websites I write for, my friends, supportive family, and most importantly- piece of mind.

Life will never be perfect, but if you nurture your own passions and projects, they will grow- just like the orchid.  Even when you’re down, it’s possible to come back to life- so as spring approaches (though it seems like it never will on the east coast), remember that you have the opportunity to blossom again, too.


There she is, back to life!

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Living the Life I Choose

Throughout my life I’ve struggled with fitting into the “norm.” One of the earliest examples is when I invited my imaginary friends to dinner at my grandparent’s house next door- place settings and all- thinking (and truly believing) my friends would show up.  Maybe they did. Anyway, I much preferred what was going on in my imagination to people in the actual, physical world.

I’m still that way a lot of the time.

As an only child, my days were filled with art, drawing, and imagination- not social interactions.  I often fall in love with ideas, with feelings, and with inspiration.  Sometimes, and this has happened more than I can count, I fall in love with what I want something to be, not what it actually is. 

Perhaps this is one of the reasons I’ve done so well in long distance (or even unofficial) relationships.  It allows me the freedom and time, yet also fills that “companionship” void.  No daily obligations, no unrealistic expectations.  Shouldn’t life be all about going with the flow and having fun, anyway?  Life is so serious on its own- let’s not complicate it more than we need to.

This brings me to the “expectations” part of my train of thought.  Society tells us how a typical family looks, from nightly sitcoms to fairy tales illustrating living “happily ever after.”  We think there will be a meet cute, some drama, and in the end, we get swept off our feet… but there’s a finish line.  Marriage, family, kids.

People rush into things because they think it’s what they’re supposed to do.

There’s no right or wrong, but I honestly can’t see myself living that life- and even if I did get married and have a child, I’d probably live in a city apartment on the East Coast, not out in the ‘burbs with a list of household chores and yard work.

Sure, I turn 34 this year and people tell me “there’s time,” but what if I don’t need time?  What if I know what I want?

I’ve thought about this time and time again, and I’ve tried to warm to the idea of going home to a house full of people, jam packed weekends with activities, and taking care of others.  Call me selfish, but I don’t want that.  At all.

It’s okay to want what you want. While I’m not writing this to put down the choices of others, I want to make it clear that it’s okay to want something different than what others expect of you. Life should allow you room to grow, explore, and to follow your heart- not the “norm.”

Live the life you love– I promise, it will all fall into place if you listen to your gut, take chances, and step out of your comfort zone.  You’ll only regret the chances you don’t take.

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Those Spring Feelings- Starting Fresh

Although today’s temperature in Boston would suggest otherwise, it’s the first day of spring.  Emotionally, this year feels like it, too- although I’m still wearing a heavy coat and there’s a winter storm warning, it’s the start of a new, fresh season.  It’s a time to wake up from the winter months, reemerge, and blossom.

It’s time to shine!

This past weekend was the New Moon in Pisces– a dreamy, go-with-the-flow vibe.  Representing strong, feminine energy, Pisces floats in at a time where we can embrace the new season by owning our strengths, taking chances, and welcoming new opportunities.  Saying goodbye to this last chapter, the New Moon is a time to turn the page and start with a fresh, new piece of paper.

Speaking of new opportunities, I start comedy class tonight.  Laughter has always been one of my ways to cope with life, from telling stories to making not-so-funny situations into something humorous.  Although I’ve thought about comedy writing for over eight years, I kept talking myself out of it.  First, the classes at UCB were full.  Then, I didn’t have the money.  There was always an excuse!

There’s been no doubt in my mind that sketch comedy would be something I’d enjoy- and even be good at- but for some reason, a little voice kept causing me to procrastinate.

That negative self talk is what has kept me from doing a lot of things- but this past year of healing, writing, and getting to know myself has given me the strength to go forward and give it my all.  What do we have to lose, anyway?  I’ll tell you- opportunity.

You never know unless you try.  This goes for relationships, career, and life- you can’t judge the outcome of your future by the mistakes or events of your past.

It’s important to heal and let go of the blocks that have prevented you from taking risks- especially if your heart is telling you that the thing you’re afraid of is right.

Happy Spring, and I hope you’re able to take chances, have faith, and go with the flow- you never know what people or opportunities will float your way.

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Friday Flow

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Cracking the Code

If you haven’t seen the final season of LOVE (and want to), I suggest you breeze past this post. Although I’m not giving away a ton of details, I’m summing up my biggest takeaway from the conclusion of this amazing Netflix series.

The complications of Mickey and Gus’s love story- and usually hilarious relationship- stem from their past pain, insecurities, and fear.

That’s it.

(but if they would have been self-aware in season one, we wouldn’t have a show, now would we? 😉)

I think about how their relationship- and vulnerability- is relevant to any life situation- from career to family to fighting our own inner demons.

Once we can accept ourselves, stop listening to the noise from the outside world, and follow our hearts, life becomes much more satisfying, peaceful, and fun.

Mickey and Gus resisted each other (not to mention happiness) throughout the series- but once they learned they could show their true colors, their problems began to slip away.

Gus’s scene at his parent’s anniversary party not only caught me by surprise, but redeemed him as a character in my eyes. Season three was borderline hard to watch when Gus awkwardly directed his friends, lashed out at Mickey, stumbled through lies, or tried to be cool at work. Oh, Gus! It’s hard not to feel sorry for him despite his anger outbursts and whining, but he made up for all the painful moments by coming clean in the end.

The look in Mickey’s eyes made me melt when she realized that Gus, too, was desperately trying to hold on, fit in, and be accepted. His confession warmed my heart, and I was so glad to see them both finally be open and comfortable with one another.

I wish that for myself and for others, too- to feel comfortable in our own skin, ignore the naysayers, and live a purposeful life that makes us happy.

As Mickey and Gus snuck off and got married on their own (yes, there’s the big spoiler), I actually started to cry. It was so great to see them following their gut and to do what was in their hearts. I know exactly how it feels to have friends try and talk me out of things that don’t seem “logical,” but my heart wins every time.

That private moment summed up the whole series, displaying what anyone would want in a relationship- laughter, understanding, and living in their own little world.

Although the LOVE story is over, I’m taking the lessons with me- and maybe, just maybe, I’ll have my own Gus one day- and this time around, I’ll be a little easier on him.

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