Our Own Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

Over the past couple of years I’ve written numerous pieces on subjects such as the power of positive thinking, the law of attraction, and living a high vibrational life.

I’ve had opportunities to teach others about how their own thoughts and words have the ability to manifest in their everyday life. I’ve journaled about my own goals, painted positive affirmations to display in my home, and have meditated on

Yet I still held tight to my own negative identities.

self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that directly or indirectly causes itself to become true, by the very terms of the prophecy itself, due to positive feedback between belief and behavior. A positive or negative prophecy, strongly held belief, or delusion—declared as truth when it is actually false—may sufficiently influence people so that their reactions ultimately fulfill the once-false prophecy.

We have all done it- we’ve negatively labeled ourselves. We’ve expected the worst. We’ve looked at old patterns and played fortune teller with our own lives.

Over the past year, I’ve watched jobs fall apart, I had to leave my apartment, and I’ve expected the worst in my own relationships.

I’ve been a walking contradiction!

The good news is, it’s not too late to create new, productive identities for yourself.

We no longer need to reflect on the past to predict the future- we can start creating a whole new (and positive!) forcast in the here and now.

And who knows? It may be better than our wildest dreams.

Thanks for the info, Wikipedia

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Onion Layers

PSA: It may sound like I’m talking about groceries, but don’t be fooled- I’m not.

Have you ever pushed your feelings down so deeply that they come up to the surface all at once?

Me too!

This morning I found myself thinking I was frustrated with one thing, only to discover I was peeling 10 layers of an onion.  When I went to talk to someone about it, 10 more layers unfolded.

At this point I’m a complete crying mess full of impending doom (and those weren’t actual onion tears, either).

But today, I am able to honor even the uncomfortable feelings- because I’m learning to get through them.  I’m proud of myself for not running from my feelings like I used to.

People are often used to me smiling and spreading good cheer.  It makes them feel funny when I’m not that person they’ve grown to know.  However, I’ve learned that holding in your feelings and frustrations doesn’t serve anyone.

I’ve spent my entire life acting, pretending everything is just dandy.  I’ve worn a mask of having everything “all together,” only to fall apart like a house of cards.  For over a decade, I’ve simply moved cities, changed jobs, and left relationships when times get tough.

But not today.

Today, I’m going to keep pushing through the discomfort.

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Balancing the Inside and the Outside

Shopping is not fun after you’ve gained 20 pounds.

Yes, since January I’ve gained exactly 20 pounds.

That’s actually 30 pounds heavier than I was last summer, when friends were saying they were “worried” about me. I was living alone, skipping meals, and working out every day. Sure, I get it, I wasn’t healthy. However, it doesn’t make it any easier when none of my cute skirts fit like they used to.

Okay, now I see what they were talking about.

I really do need to cut myself some slack, though. I put myself through a lot this past winter. I relapsed, went away to treatment for two months, and moved back to Boston to give a balanced lifestyle another shot. While away, I was fed three meals a day, endless snacks, and wasn’t allowed to wear makeup, use my phone, or get on a computer.

This was meant to push the focus internally. And I did.

Maybe too much so.

Now, I’m trying to balance both the insides and the outsides. Although I’ve been working tirelessly on my internal condition, my outward appearance seems as if it’s neglected. My skin is dry, I’m wearing black leggings every day (it’s the most comfortable item of clothing I can find), and the Allston water doesn’t seem to be agreeing with me.

However, are the least of my worries- today, I’m alive and healthy.

But, although I may be healthy, I still can’t wait to fit back into my size 2 skirts. 🙃

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