Follow Your Heart

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Throughout my life I have made a variety of impulsive decisions that always seem to work out just fine.  Have I been lucky?  Am I good at hustling?  Do I have impeccable instincts?  Perhaps it is a variety of factors, but one thing is for sure: I have always followed my heart.

I have learned to trust my gut.  I know when people, situations, or places don’t feel right. However, I also hold on to the feelings that bring me joy.  Whether it’s the smell of lilacs that remind me of a blissful summer as a child, or hearing a song that brings me peace, my heart always knows what will make me happy and keep me safe.

Too much logic, planning or self-will can prevent you from reaching your full potential, cause stress and block possibilities that were beyond your wildest dreams!  For me, trying to follow someone else’s plan just didn’t work.  It repeatedly created aggravation, depression, addiction issues and poor relationships.  When I found myself following someone else’s path and not my own heart, my life quickly became unmanageable.

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Once I learned to release and surrender, beautiful things began to happen again.  I cleared my mind of old thoughts and perceptions and allowed life to reveal itself.  Moving to Boston has been a wonderful experience in practicing my faith, as I moved here only knowing one person, jobless and apartmentless but with a plan and a clear, sober mind.  After I landed on December 1st, it took me seven days to get a job offer (two of those days were during the weekend!) and ten to find a great home, which is where I still live today.

The power of positivity works if you work for it.

Every day I receive messages from my higher power- people will come into my life, songs will play, emails will appear and even my dreams will dig into my subconscious to show me the signs that I need.  Lately I have been feeling very spiritually connected; it’s been a beautiful spring, so I have been spending most of my free time in nature.  Meditation, journaling, long walks and spending time sitting near the trees or beside the water is the easiest way for me to realign myself with the universe and reconnect with my spiritual side when I’m feeling irritated and distant.

In a busy world of constant stimulation, consumerism and greed, there has been nothing more gratifying for me to bring myself back to my childlike soul; the girl who spent her days reading on a tree swing, creating imaginary characters, drawing and dancing.  When I follow my heart and remember all of the simple things that bring me real, true joy and add meaning to my life, I find that my worries float away and my faith is quickly restored.

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Clearing Your Mind

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I used to run on nervous energy- I would fill my day with meaningless tasks and errands, only to find myself chasing my tail.  I would work on multiple tasks and projects, but finished nothing.  The glorification of “busyness” is a problem in our society- and something that I have been guilty of.

I noticed today that I almost left the house without eating, so I stopped, took a deep breath and realized I was getting into my old habits.  My nervous energy, overactive mind and focus on what was next- not what was right in front of me- was beginning to effect my mood and my body.

Up until recently, I didn’t realize that the reason things haven’t worked out the way I wanted them to (career, productivity, finances, dating) is because I continued to do the same thing over and over again, hoping for a different result- the definition of insanity!  Sometimes I feel like I am in a constant state of transition, as I keep repeating old patterns that didn’t suit me in the past; so why would they suit me now?

I ate, left my house and decided to follow my intuition and head to the park.  Being outside never fails to make me feel better, so I grabbed my notebook, planner, pens and a coffee and headed to nature to get some work done.

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As soon as I arrived at Boston Common, all of my nervous energy was gone.  I meditated for a few minutes, arranged all of my things and got into a serene mental state.  This was the type of mental state I needed to be productive.

So, this practice brought me to a revelation: in order to allow the gifts of the future, I need to clear my mind of old negative values, ideas, pain and fear.  When I am feeling uneasy, I must to re-align myself with the universe through feeling genuine gratitude, not hold on to the junk of yesterday.  While we can all learn from past experiences, there is absolutely no reason to hold onto shame, guilt or failures.  Live and learn- but move on.

It’s also so important to take some time to clear your mind, ground yourself and reflect on your true passions and your purpose.  I’ve spent the past ten years trying out new cities, boyfriends, careers, you name it.  I learned that none of those things fulfilled me- I had to fulfill myself first.

Spend time in nature.  Be alone.  Write.  Create.  Just do you.  The plan the universe has for you is far beyond what you could think up on your own-  so give that pretty little mind a rest so you can stop and enjoy the moment.

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Divine Guidance

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I have always been a big believer in “meaningful coincidences,” spotting doppelgängers and looking for synchronicity everywhere I go.  I adore numbers and patterns, particularly even ones (I was born 12/22/84 and grew up on Michigan highway M22), so connections feel very spiritual to me.  In the past, I knew this was all some sort of divine guidance, but recently I have been taking the signs much more seriously.

In fact, I take them very seriously.

I’ll finally tell the story of how I decided to come to Boston.  As my half-year mark approaches, I reflect on all of the events that got me here; sometimes I wonder, “what took me so long?”  I have to stop, take a breath and remember that every event, both good or bad, brought me to this point I am at today.  Each and every lesson has made me stronger and given me tools to handle life on life’s terms.

After my grandmother passed away in 2013 I decided it was finally time to move to New York City.  Living in New York was my life-long dream, so after being blessed with the opportunity to spend the last two years at home in Michigan, living next door to her and bringing in her newspaper every day, I left for the Big Apple the summer of 2014.  After living in NYC for over two years, I hit a wall and decided to leave.  I was let go from my consulting project, had to find a new place to live, was in a toxic on-again-off-again non-relationship, and my drinking was out of control.

I had pushed my old dreams so hard- putting my will first, and the universe second- picking up terrible habits and looking for peace in all the wrong places.  I never felt content, settled or stable.  I couldn’t find solace anywhere- not even Central Park or along the Hudson River.  Come fall of 2016, I felt like an absolute failure.  Why was I constantly starting over and running from myself?  Last October I had no idea where to go or what to do;  I no longer had any answers or solutions- so I surrendered.

With a clean slate and a willingness to learn, I reached out to others and finally accepted help.  As the next stage of my journey began for me in October of 2016, I made a friend from the Boston area.  He told me how his grandma lived next door to him, and how he was a mailman.  I laughed and told him how my grandparents also lived next door to me growing up and that my grandpa was a mailman (his route was our street, M22) as well.  I told him my grandpa’s name- and surprise, surprise- his dad had the same name as my grandpa.  Now, coincidences like this happen all of the time; but how many Jeromes do you meet?  Or mailmen.  It wasn’t like meeting a John from Boston who is a Financial Advisor… that would be too easy.

As I questioned where to take my life and what city to settle in after my many stints at other places, I remembered all of the signs pointing to Boston over the past several years.  My first very close friend in NYC had gone to Harvard and was a huge Red Sox fan.  Boston movies would be on TV.  I would constantly meet various people from Boston.  Someone would be wearing a Celtics t-shirt.  I also remember visiting the winter of 2015, after the record snow, thinking, “I could live here” and “wow, the subway tracks are SO clean.”

So, Boston it was.  My mom helped me get a one-way ticket and took me to the airport on the morning of December 1st.  I haven’t talked to that mailman who helped me get here since December, either- but that’s okay.  People come and go in your life for a reason, right when they need to.  I am a big believer that my grandparents helped place certain people in my life at certain times to send me signs for the next direction to take.  I feel comforted and safe knowing I have angels and divine guidance to show me the way when I feel lost.

When I close my eyes and meditate, the visions I consistently see are bodies of water, sailboats, books and blank pages.  Boston is the perfect place to be inspired.  I know there  are many amazing opportunities here for me and a life that I couldn’t even create in my own mind; I have faith that it will be even better.  

I know am getting closer to discovering my true purpose and calling every single day…  in the meantime, I will enjoy the journey and watch it divinely unfold.

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