Do you want me to shine
Or are you trying to keep me small?
Watch me fly and rise above
Just waiting for my fall.
My wings are strong and glisten like gold
I found my own way
and broke from the mold.
What held me back won’t scare me now
Wave goodbye and take a bow.
A fresh beginning and shades of pink
Blank pages fill with new words in ink.
She’s not afraid and knows her own worth
Let go of the past, it’s a glowing rebirth.
Lately I have been feeling lighter, fresher, and free- and my home reflects how I feel on the inside.
I noticed how my personal aesthetic has evolved over the past couple of years- from blacks to pale pink and gold, I’ve slowly brightened up my life and opened my heart a little more.
My new bedroom decor is a representation of how I feel on the inside, with simple luxuries and a feminine feel. My minimalist approach to my decor is practical and chic, choosing quality over quantity and a purpose for each piece.
As many may know from my writing, it has been a turbulent few years. The process of changing yourself on the inside, overcoming pain, and getting (but most importantly, staying) sober is emotionally draining, but coming home to a haven is imperative to my serenity.
I wrote about my leisurely morning on my other blog, Sobah in the City, where I share stories of self improvement and living sober and chic.
Life is a journey, and it’s even more meaningful when you learn to live beautifully.
Orchid: Trader Joe’s / Mug and Robe: TJ Maxx / Bracelet: Olivia Burton / Nail Polish: Essie “Let it Glow” Bedding: Primark
They say the best things in life are free, and from my experience, that is absolutely correct.
For years I looked everywhere I could to fill the void in my soul- I was addicted to shopping, I sought out approval from others, I moved from city to city, and I tried to slow down my brain by drinking excessively.
I went from bar to bar, boyfriend to boyfriend, job to job, and handbag to handbag- yet whatever I had was never enough.
Sitting still wasn’t even an option- and back then, I didn’t realize how amazing stillness could be.
When I started Mindful in Style, I had just left my fashion copywriter life in New York City. I dated actors and Wall Street attorneys, bankers and startup entrepreneurs. I mingled with designers and screenwriters, fellow fashion bloggers and alcoholics. I justified my behavior by associating with people in the same circumstances as me, for better or for worse.
What I failed to do was look within to improve myself.
Battery Park, 2014. Photo by Rik Parker
I thought that if things looked okay on the outside, they must be fine on the inside.
I couldn’t have been more misguided.
Although I seemed to have everything, that hole in my soul was still as deep as ever.
What they don’t seem to teach you as you grow up is that life doesn’t have a “happiness” finish line or an invisible box to check in order to reach fulfillment.
Living a beautiful life doesn’t mean grandiosity, status, or material gains- living beautifully is about living in the now, embracing life’s simple pleasures, and making the most out of what is right in front of you.
My best days now are strolling through the city, enjoying my coffee by the river, or sitting quietly with the cat. It’s the peace I have found within that makes my life so beautiful- and although I still enjoy a great handbag, true happiness is found in the mindful moments that I used to take for granted.