Being Compassionate and Kind To Our Inner Child

We were all once little humans.

At one point in time, we were innocent children who didn’t understand pain, trauma, or heartbreak.

We played in big, green backyards, had a best friend who was a stuffed bear, and we took the time to stop and smell the roses.

At what point did we start being so hard on that child?

Self compassion doesn’t come naturally- we are typically our own biggest critics. As we recover, learn, and grow, remembering to nurture our five-year-old self is an important part of the healing process.

This is a reminder to love and care for your inner child today, and to reclaim your sense of joy, wonder, and excitement- one rose at a time.

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Strong Enough To Love The Flaws

While living in New York I broke up with a filmmaker who lived in the East Village.  After a few months of dating, he told me I was “nothing but trouble and problems,” only to proceed to say how lucky he was that I graced his presence, and that he was undeserving of my company.

This left me stumped.  After the alcohol-infused argument, we never spoke again.

Today I realize he did me a favor on that December night of 2015.

I was pretty distraught with the breakup despite how he treated me.  I thought it was all my fault.  Then, knowing me all too well, my college friend Nessie sent me an article with a title so true, yet so hard to fathom, that I was finally able to move forward:

You Don’t Need A Man, You Need a Goddamn Warrior.

A warrior?  This never phased me.  I had just thought I was “too much.”

For the past few years I’ve been absolutely, completely, and unapologetically uninterested in commitment.  I’ve seen what is out there, and I’ve worn my own shield of protection to fend off unwanted attention.

However, not everyone is going to try to go to war with me- maybe, just maybe, there’s someone out there who’s strong enough to love my quirks and see the beauty in my imperfections.

For a long time I was scared to share my truth with others- so I tried to act or be a chameleon.  This never failed to backfire, leaving me in a worse position than if I would have been honest upfront.  Yes, I have been wounded, but my struggles have brought me strength.

I am still healing, but when I am ready, I won’t settle for anything but a warrior.

Thanks to Kate Rose for writing the amazing article, and to The Fix for publishing my own story

There’s power in vulnerability!

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More Meditation, Less Medication

0In this day and age, there seems to be a pill for everything.  Not only are people running to their doctors for relief, the providers themselves are over-prescribing, patients are misusing their prescriptions, and often times, they become addicted to their medication.

Depression and anxiety are two of the most common disorders, which are treated by a variety of medications- some addictive, some not.  Although antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills can be helpful, they don’t solve the biggest problem- the root cause of the discomfort.

Researchers and a growing number health care professionals are encouraging patients to practice meditation in addition to their medical treatment and therapy.  Although many disorders are a chemical imbalance, most don’t consider how meditation can help re-wire their brain.

What if treatment facilities and doctors prescribed more meditation, and less medication?

I’ve had anxiety throughout my life, which is something I’ve never been treated for.  My social anxiety was so terrible growing up that it caused me to eat lunch in the library when I didn’t know who to sit with, skip classes or school events, and, as soon as I began college, I started drinking heavily to self medicate.  I may not have taken pills to relieve my discomfort, but I drank my worries away so I wasn’t aware of my surroundings.

I eventually went to therapy and tried antidepressants to keep my depression in check.  I didn’t take the medicine long enough to know whether or not it helped me- life situations had improved and I was abstinent from alcohol- but I also added something else to my life:

Mindfulness and meditation.

Between therapy, group support, and meditation, my anxiety and depression have been alleviated. I learned that spending more time inward was the solution to my issues.  If you break down depression and anxiety, it’s quite simple:

Depression is living in the past, and anxiety is living in the future.

Living in the present is being happy.

Whether you choose to medicate or not, consider adding meditation to your daily routine.  There are many apps that can get you started if you’re a newbie to the practice, such as Calm and Headspace, and even a variety of YouTube videos to guide you along your way.  Meditation has changed my life, and I know it can change yours, too.

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Acceptance is the Answer to All My Problems

Being tolerant is really tough.

I can’t lie- it’s my natural state to isolate or avoid people I don’t like.  When I’m in a situation that isn’t pleasant, I usually find a way to change it.

Why else do you think I’ve moved so many times these past 11 years?

(In case you didn’t know, it’s a lot- I’ve lived in 7 different states and in seemingly endless apartments.)

Today I am learning to accept things as they are.  I don’t have to like them, but I do need to learn a new way of thinking in order to be content.

My first reaction to an unpleasant person or situation is to run away, but I don’t have to do that anymore.  Today I am free to just be.

It might be uncomfortable, but it’s a relief to know that I don’t have to run away.

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