Categories
conscious living mindfulness self discovery

You Can Take the Girl Out of the City, But You Can’t Take the City Out of the Girl

Winter 2016 on the Upper West Side

When I came back to Michigan, there were many things I wasn’t prepared for.

Winter in November was one of them.

Although I spent the past five years on the East Coast, Northern Michigan is a whole new ballgame.  Despite living in town, the heavy snow and the ice makes is nearly impossible to even walk down the street- this morning, I fell twice in my own neighborhood.

Ouch.

As I waited for the bus to get to work, a man called out to me, “you know, the bus isn’t coming up the hill today!”  I looked over at him, as snow fell off the fur on the hood of my new Michael Kors coat and into my eyes.  “Oh?” I replied, “Where does it pick up?”

“At the bottom of the hill!”

I stared at him as I wiped the snow from my face.  Well, I suppose I can make it to the bottom of the hill.

Begrudgingly, I turned around and started walking.  My clothes were already getting wet from the heavy snow, but that didn’t stop me.  I’d walk all the way to work if I had to!  A mile and a half is nothing when you’re used to walking over 10 miles each day in the city.

As I continued to walk, my feet slipped on the snow-packed pavement.  Catching my fall, my leg started to cramp.  I kept going.  Then, as I hit another icy patch, my coffee mug flew out of my hand, my phone detached from my headphones, and I fell flat on my back.  I paused for a moment.

I can’t do this shit.

All sorts of things began running through my mind at this moment.  Should I keep going?  Should I dry my phone off and see if there is an Uber nearby?  Or do I just go home, call my boss, and tell her what happened?

I decided to go with option #3.

I may be a winter baby who loves bundling up, wearing cute boots, gloves, and hats, but when my nearly 35-year-old body is in pain, the best option is to stay inside.

Maybe I should mention that I haven’t driven a car in almost six years- and I am not about to start now.  Can you even imagine the damage I could do to myself or others if I were to drive on this ice?  It wouldn’t be pretty- not to mention bad for my anxiety.

You can take the girl out of the city, but you can’t take the city out of the girl- even if it means she’ll attempt to walk a mile and a half in the snow and risk falling on her butt.

Categories
mental health mindfulness self care

Being An Introvert Isn’t Isolating

Today I decided to debunk one of the biggest introvert misconceptions of all:

That introversion and isolation are the same thing.

I shared a status on Facebook from four years ago, when I lived in a doorman building on the Upper West Side.  Every time I walked in, and every time I went on the elevator to my 6th floor apartment, I had to make small talk.

Every.  Time.

Sure, it’s nice to be greeted or to have someone acknowledge you, but sometimes, believe it or not, you just want to walk in, go upstairs, and be left alone.  So, I would keep my sunglasses on, pretend I was talking on the phone, or keep walking straight to avoid the small talk.

After sharing my status from 2015, my best friend from my hometown commented:

“Thank you for this.  I cannot stand small talk, I would rather not say anything at all!”

She gets me.

Even though we live over 1,000 miles apart, those are the connections that mean so much to me- I would rather have quality friends who understand me than a large number of people who don’t.

Some people gain energy from other people, and others gain energy from being alone.  That’s the difference between an extrovert and an introvert.  In a city like New York or Boston you’re constantly surrounded by so many people, being stimulated left and right, that it’s easy for an introvert to get drained.

This is why I spend so much time in the park, outside, and journaling by myself.  Whether I’m reading by the river or hanging out at home with the cat, my recharge time is extremely sacred, and necessary, to maintain my sanity.

It’s completely different than isolating.

I’m positive that the world around me would rather have a recharged, calm Kristin than a snappy, reactive one- and that latter is what you’ll get if I don’t have ample alone time.

Dedicated to my fellow introverts and Rachel, who *always* gets me, no matter where in the world we are.

Categories
moon phases

Full Circle- New Moon and NYC

My four year anniversary of moving to New York City is coming up on June 18th.  Is it still an anniversary if you don’t live there anymore?  Not sure.

Nevertheless, I flew in on a Wednesday night.  The following Thursday morning, I headed to my apartment on 98th and Broadway, sight unseen, where 10 boxes were waiting for me with the doorman.  I had seen the apartment on a Skype tour with my roommate/landlord, emailed and texted with the other girls who lived there, and while this action would not seem logical (or even safe) to most, it made perfect sense to me.  Mailing a check for $1,550 to a stranger?  Sure.  I just knew everything would be fine.

Intuition has gotten me through everything.  Everything.

The day I moved in, I unpacked a few things and headed down the street to get lunch.  I found a place nestled on Amsterdam and 96th with TVs.

There were more people than I would have expected at the bar, eating wings and intently watching some kind of game.  Oh- soccer.  I liked soccer.

I didn’t even understand the importance or care about the World Cup four summers ago when I moved to NYC, but it quickly became my favorite thing.  Why?  Easy- it was socially accepted to go to the bar at noon and eat nachos with cute boys on the Upper West Side.

I met one in particular- Moshe, but he went by Mo- who was from Toronto and lived just north of me on 111th.  We met on my first Saturday in the city when I went to the ‘dam (which has since closed) over eggs benedict and grilled cheese.  He asked me out to dinner that night, and soon after he became one of my favorite summer companions.  World Cup games, Long Island pool days, and Sundays in Riverside Park.

We’re still buddies.

That brings me to my weekend plans- and how much times have changed.

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On Friday afternoon I am heading back to NYC for the weekend- yet I didn’t even consider that it would be the four year mark of my big move.  It feels very appropriate; the New Moon in Gemini, a different Kristin, and of course, coming full circle.

It has not been an easy four years, but I am excited to enjoy a weekend in the city with an entirely new perspective.  Not one with a broken heart like the broken heart I had when I arrived June 18th, 2014 and when I left July 25th, 2016, but with a happy, whole one.

A heart that is grateful.  A heart that knows she doesn’t need boys, beer, or bars.  A heart that is content within herself.

I know my behavior was reckless when I lived there.  I know that.  I am grateful to have gotten out alive (quite literally).  However, those memories are pieces of my life that shaped me into the tough little cookie I am today.  I’ve learned I don’t need to be tough all of the time, though- only when I need to be.

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I couldn’t be told that, though.  I had to learn for myself.

Happy New Moon, everyone.  Let’s set intentions, dream big, and move forward- even when we second guess ourselves.  This is a time to keep going- to keep moving forward with those projects and goals.

I used to avoid success through dating and drinking, and guess what?  It didn’t work.  The Universe knew there was something bigger for me, and I trust that.

“It’s never too late- never too late to start over, never too late to be happy.” -Jane Fonda

Categories
inspirational people

Quick, Curious, Playful, and Strong

Clinch Park Marina, Traverse City
Clinch Park Marina, Traverse City

Uptown Charlotte
Pacific Heights, San Francisco
Battery Park, New York City
2013 ShopStyle Campaign
2013 ShopStyle Campaign
Cherry Capital Airport
A very special secret trip to San Francisco to collect my things at my ex’s condo before moving to NYC. Yes, I had a key, and no, he didn’t know I was coming.
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Beyond Yoga X Kate Spade Launch Party
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The Palace of Fine Arts
Central Park Stroll
Central Park Stroll
Remembering Kate Spade
12/24/1962 ~ 6/5/2018

Thank you to Kate Spade for all of the moments of style and inspiration.

May we continue to live colorfully and curiously. 💞✨

Categories
mindfulness

Patience and Timing

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“Patience and timing- it’s all you’ll ever need,” a wise friend told me back in college.

Aside from the people, the thing I miss the most about NYC is being able to get anything you want, any time of day, any day of the week. There is always something open and there’s always a way to get there.

The New Yorkers I miss can always visit me in Boston, and I can always Amtrak back down to the city- but what is one to do when it’s Christmas Day, you’re alone, and the Stop and Shop around the corner is closed?

This Christmas I began to miss New York… despite often being very alone in the city that never sleeps.

Two years ago I spent Christmas on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, my old neighborhood in the high 90’s. While I know the joke is that Jewish people go to movies and eat Chinese on Christmas, my Jewish friends actually do this- so I did, too. Only it was fried rice and crab ragoon over Netflix.

It’s easy to be alone when you have so many distractions- in a city of millions, it’s also easy to see little pieces of magic even on your loneliest day.

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Lately I have been wondering what else I am missing about New York. Is it the comfort of the hustle and bustle? Is it the familiarity with the neighborhoods, the train lines, the bodega owners, the skyline and the crowds?

Finding your footing in a new city is never easy, and I have yet to find the simple joys that give me comfort in Boston. I used to run every time I felt unchallenged, lonely, overstimulated, stressed or fearful… but I refuse to act this way today.

Now, I choose to enjoy each moment, look for the magic and live one day at a time.

Just believe- something wonderful is about to happen.

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