Categories
conscious living

Believe: The Gateway to Self

German philosopher Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “Magic is believing in yourself. If you can do that, you can make anything happen.”

On this 12/12, I have been thinking about everyday magic and living in infinite possibilities.

Keeping my eye out for synchronicities and signs, I have made a conscious effort to stay connected, grateful, and in my own truth.

12/12 is a magical gateway to transformation, helping to guide you closer to your soul purpose and passions. This gateway assists in feeling confident, empowered, and loved; the old will begin to slip away and make room for a newness that will be better aligned with your heart.

You can find magic each and every day- you just need to be open to what life brings you. As we stop listening to what others on the outside say and begin to listen to what’s inside, a new peace is found and unexpected doors will open.

All you need is to believe in yourself- then others will, too.

Categories
self discovery

On the Cusp- Who I Was, Who I Am

June 5th, 2014 (four years ago today!)- the day of my blonde chop.

This morning I looked at my horoscope- the Sagittarius one– as I’ve always felt much more like an archer than the goat.  Although I’m born on the cusp of Sagittarius and Capricorn, sometimes I wonder, “how could anyone consider me grounded!?”

One may say my head is often in the clouds and I have a relentless need for freedom, change, and adventure, but most wouldn’t consider me calm or cautious, like a Capricorn.  That said, I turned to my “Sag ‘scope” of the day:

“A sense of dissatisfaction that has been dogging you for quite some time now will at last begin to fade. You will instinctively know that you have found your niche in life and can follow your calling to achieve your dreams. You will be able to understand what changes must be implemented to make your health as well as your work much better.”

Spot-on.

This brings me to a common theme (or struggle): identity.

Although my haircut is the same as it was four years ago, I’ve spent a lot of these four years questioning who I am.

Have I been who I wanted to be? Or have I been listening too closely to what others have said?

I’ve lived a few different places, dated different people, worked different jobs; but none of things things have made up who I am.  Wherever you go, there you are– no matter what is stripped from you, whatever title you have, or whoever is by your side.  You always have YOU.

So, what do they have to say about Sagittarius, anyway?

Strengths: Generous, idealistic, great sense of humor

Weaknesses: Promises more than can deliver, very impatient, will say anything no matter how undiplomatic

Sagittarius likes: Freedom, travel, philosophy, being outdoors

Sagittarius dislikes: Clingy people, being constrained, off-the-wall theories, details

“Curious and energetic, Sagittarius is one of the biggest travelers among all zodiac signs. Their open mind and philosophical view motivates them to wander around the world in search of the meaning of life.”

Fitting.

“Freedom is their greatest treasure, because only then they can freely travel and explore different cultures and philosophies. Because of their honesty, Sagittarius-born are often impatient and tactless when they need to say or do something, so it’s important to learn to express themselves in a tolerant and socially acceptable way.”

Although I can 100% identify with the Sagittarius theme, it makes me wonder, “am I stuck in the clouds?  Do I need to be brought back down to earth?

So, I looked back at the blog posts from the past few days, and came to this conclusion:

My theme for June: grounding. 🙏🏻

What does that mean?  Well, it means quite a bit.  For me, the first things that come to mind would be to get out in nature, turn off the phone, meditate, read, relax, and most of all: sit still!  I often think my way into problems, or over-think the world around me. This has not only caused me anxiety, but has held me back from being my true self.

Once you re-center and become one with yourself, feeling comfortable in your own skin, you are limitless- no matter what your sign.

Although I’ll never back down from my adventure-seeking, curious nature, maybe I can stand to embody a little bit of my sea goat, after all. ✨

June 5, 2018- a little older, a little wiser, and maybe (just maybe), a little more grounded.
Categories
self discovery

New Moon Vibes- Spring Has Sprung!

Although the New Moon was over the weekend, I’ve been really feeling it these past couple of days.  Perhaps it’s a combination of the moon and Mercury snapping out of retrograde (whew), but I’ve been feeling refreshed, calm, and balanced.

Instead of being overcome with emotions- both good or bad- I’ve been feeling more neutral.  People haven’t been pushing my buttons like they used to, comments aren’t being taken so personally, and my anxiety about everyday things- such as commuting or finishing up a task at work- isn’t so bad.

I’ve been choosing what to care about and what to put my energy towards.

This New Moon was in Aries, which is the first astrological sign of the zodiac.  So, it only makes sense to be feeling a bit fresh- it’s the New Year!  I like that thought, too- now is the beginning of a brand new cycle.  We’re all able to pay attention to what is around us, take control of our thoughts, and focus on what is happening in the now. 

That’s how I want to live in this new year, new spring, and new season.

Spring is a time of rebirth, growth, and manifestation; as the old falls away, the new comes into form.  I spent the majority of the winter cooped up writing, planning, and coming up with ideas- which served its purpose during the cold, snowy months.  I had been busy planting seeds for what was next, and even though I was taking steps each day, my ideas weren’t ready to grow- until now.

Just like the spring, everything has its cycle- planting, growth, and blossoming.

Over the weekend I did my usual routine- a Saturday stroll through Boston Common, journaling in the Public Garden, and window shopping on Newbury Street.  It’s finally starting to look like spring, and I’m excited to watch the flowers start to bloom… just like new projects, ideas, and dreams.

Categories
empowerment

What Inspires Change?

Last night’s book club was a success!  Although I took the wrong bus to Arlington (silly me), I serendipitously got off at Spy Pond, a place I often frequented when I lived in the neighborhood.  It was a good omen to remember how far I’ve come this past year, and how much has changed- inside and out.  The sun shined on the bright blue water, and I legitimately enjoyed my mile-long walk in the freezing cold.  Ah, what a time to be alive.

Once I arrived, I was greeted by Clarissa the cat and a basket of slippers. “The Nest,” my first home in Boston, is lovingly referred to as “the house of healing hearts-” and it lives up to the name.  There’s no warmer, cozier house full of hospitality and love.  Brenda certainly makes anyone in her home feel like it’s their own, and I will forever be grateful for The Nest being one of my first Massachusetts experiences.

Brenda was cutting up veggies and cheese when I arrived, and soon after April strolled in.  An all-around inspiration, April is an emotional health consultant and author- and after reading her book last year, I became much more aware of my own shift in consciousness.  One of her Facebook posts even inspired me to write this piece last summer.

One by one, ladies showed up to discuss the very appropriate book of the night: The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck.

Although we didn’t have many negative things to say, some of the ladies felt it was repetitive, a bit entitled, and wondered why someone our own age was at liberty to give us advice.  I played devil’s advocate, however, and chimed in:

“Isn’t it better to learn these things now than much later in life?  Think about how many people in this world who will never learn these simple concepts.  They carry on, miserably, forever giving far too many fucks.”

Most of the girls agreed with me.  Sure, much of the book was full of common sense, but as many of us know, common sense is not so common.

We discussed the ornery coupon queen to the narcissistic serial entrepreneur who never accomplishes anything.  We talked about how the smallest things, such as a 30 cent coupon, could ruin someone’s entire day- because the coupons are what has meaning to that particular person.

Then, we carried on to discuss what has enough meaning in our lives to make the suffering worthwhile.  That was a very interesting question- what is worth fighting for?  What isn’t worth giving a f about?  Why would make ourselves suffer due to things that don’t even have meaning in our lives- such as traffic, a coworker giving you a weird look, or what your third cousin thinks of your new boyfriend?  Why do we search for problems when everything is perfectly fine?

My favorite quote in the book was this:

“Suffering is nature’s agent for inspiring change.”

That’s a very interesting thought.

Two years ago, everything was seemingly fine in New York City.  However, shit hit the fan very quickly- I watched it all crumble within a couple of weeks that July.

If my life would had been as wonderful as I hoped for it to be prior to moving to Boston (I think I was in denial that it ever was wonderful in New York), I never would have ended up here.  Had I not struggled, I wouldn’t have had the courage to make that big life change.  Had I not failed at what I thought I wanted, I never would have been lead into a completely new direction- one that gives me purpose, inspires passion, and has meaning.

Finally.  Meaning.

Prior to moving, I didn’t just have discontentment with my outside situation- it was mostly within myself.  As soon as I began to take ownership of who I was- not who I was trying to be- things began to get better.  Sure, I suffered through the uncomfortable moments of being myself- which inevitably pushed people who weren’t in alignment with me away- yet once the suffering was over, my life began to clear, and I was able to begin building again.

Thinking about the first few months of writing this blog is truly mind-boggling to me.  I was feeding myself a plethora of information- from self-help books to endless YouTube videos, I wrote every single day during 2017, still trying to figure myself out.  I blogged, I journaled, I painted.  I created a couple of other websites and came up with new ideas.  I worked a few different jobs.  I spent the year re-learning who Kristin is.

Although the growing never ends, I’m glad my suffering has.  Sure, we’ll always face both minor and major struggles along the way, but the hard part- the caterpillar trying to break out of the cocoon- is over.  I’ve finally broke out of the trap I created for myself, saw the light, and found my wings.

Returning to The Nest brings back all kinds of old feelings- relief, a sense of acceptance, feeling loved, and most of all, starting to finally love and accept myself.  The “house of healing hearts” certainly helped me get back on my feet, and I wholeheartedly agree with Mark Manson- “suffering is nature’s agent for inspiring change.”