Get Ready to Soar

It’s the second half of 2018!

I don’t know how the year started out for you, but I have noticed a common theme with myself and those around me. 2018 has been a huge time of awakening, clarity, and epiphanies. It’s time to stop questioning ourselves, listening to others, and letting fear hold us back.

We are finally preparing to use our wings.

As I have broken through barriers that held me back in the past, recognized childhood pains, and broken old cycles, I’ve been left with a new sense of peace and freedom. 2017 was all about healing, self care, learning who I am without distraction (and curve-balls to test me, of course), and rebuilding. As we entered 2018, I knew the pieces in my life I still needed to work on, but I was much closer to the next phase of my life- growing what I had been striving toward the previous year.

With a more solid foundation and steady footing, I’ve been making steps all year to strengthen my own wings and get ready to fly. Past pains have made me second guess myself in using my voice, sharing my art, and fearlessly pursuing my goals, but the first half of the year allowed me to strip away the layers preventing me from embodying the person I know I was meant to be.

It has been interesting to reflect on my growth with a friend who met me nearly four years ago, when I was going through a difficult time in New York City. My relationship was going south, I couldn’t find work, and was still mourning a breakup from earlier that year. I turned to distraction- an unhealthy boyfriend, too many nights out, and excessive drinking to mask the pain. Today, my life is completely different- and I’ve shown her that recovery and rebuilding is possible.

Ironically, that boyfriend passed away one year ago today from alcoholism- and while he never saw the light, I am so grateful I did.

It’s important for me to be in complete alignment. Up until this past week, I wasn’t- my stories changed slightly for different people in my “earthly life” (this blog doesn’t count); I didn’t feel comfortable telling people I was in recovery or that I, too, have been through challenges.

A glossy, pretty picture only shows one side of the story; it’s crucial for my health and happiness to be fearlessly honest with everyone around me- from bosses to people on the street. Today, I have nothing to hide. My pain has made me who I am- and it has made me stronger.

I will no longer sugarcoat my story to the people around me… for my life, and the lives of others, could depend on it.

Vulnerability truly is a gift, and I’m confident new opportunities will present themselves in the near future to use my talents and strength to inspire others. I just need to remember to stay in alignment and be true to my message.

Happy July. It’s time to fly! 🦋

Struggle Brings Strength

Sometimes you need to step away from the life you’ve been living and reset yourself for the future.

It can be a lonely journey while you’re aligning with your true self.  Letting outside influence has blocked me from truly following my heart, finishing projects, and doing more meaningful work.  Doubts and fear have changed my path repeatedly over the past decade, but thanks the struggles, I now have strength to stand still.  Just like the moth, we have to struggle to escape the cocoon- our old self- to become what we are meant to be.

Over the past year I’ve been shedding my old beliefs, behaviors, relationships, and limitations.  It hasn’t been easy learning to act and view things differently than I have in the past.  I used to be defensive and took everything personally; now I’m trying to avoid attaching these negative “stories” to meaningless events.

We are all going through our own struggles, but one thing I have learned: happy people aren’t mean.  Love isn’t selfish.  When we align ourselves with our true beliefs, heart, and soul, compatible people and opportunities begin to appear.  I’ve experienced this many times throughout my life- the right people always come to me at the right time, the phone rings after I’ve been thinking about someone, or a job pops up out of the blue.

If you’ve been feeling confused about why you keep repeating the same patterns, it’s likely that you haven’t learned your lesson yet.  Despite moving to a new city last year, I still held on tightly to  resentiments and the people who hurt me in the past.  Unknowingly, I let my old mistakes and pain limit me from reaching my potential.

No matter how difficult your path seems now, try not to give up.  There have been many times this past year I have wanted to; I’m used to running away when life is hard.  Just three months ago I felt absolutely helpless- I learned I needed to find a new apartment with two weeks notice and didn’t have work lined up.  Figuring out how I could pull off finding and funding a new place to live seemed impossible.  Not knowing what else to do, I nervously sat in the park day after day drinking coffee, making phone calls, applying to jobs, and listening to positive messages from thought leaders like Wayne Dyer.  I can look back at those horribly uncomfortable days now and laugh, but back in August all I could manage to do in my spare time was pace the streets of Boston or sit by the ocean in between my legwork.

One day after writing and meditating at the beach, I was on my way to the library to do more work when the phone rang.  I never answer my phone while on the train, but for some reason I did.  It was a phone call about a work assignment for the following day.  Just when I had exhausted all of my worrying and felt like giving up, I saw a little bit of light.

Ever since that day, I have kept following the light.

Life may not unfold exactly how you expect, but that’s what is so exciting.  Living your authentic life for yourself- not for someone else- will lead you on the right path.  Keep shining… life will get brighter.  Enjoy the magic and surprises along the way!