A Short Response to Mental Health Awareness

I have heard a lot of thoughts regarding the deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain this past week.  The most common is, “they had everything” or “their lives looked so wonderful.”

I have a lot of feelings about this.

Those with depression aren’t necessarily the ones venting on Facebook or complaining at work.  They’re not the ones who have bad luck, draw the wrong cards, or seem down and out.  Those with depression are often the people who smile, entertain, write, inspire, and laugh- all to cope.  They put on a face of strength.  They try to block out the bad.  But, sometimes, it’s all too much.

Happiness doesn’t come through wealth, vacations, relationships, or fame. Happiness is within your soul.

Without being fulfilled on the inside, the outside does not matter.  I started my blog after getting help in 2016, and I am happy to say I did not let my pride, reputation, or others sway me into avoiding it or sharing my story.  Instead, I learned that vulnerability only benefits others.  I don’t care if people judge me for sharing- if I can help one person, it’s worth it.

The world will not be the same without these two individuals who were both such inspirations and role models to me.  I can only hope they are finally at peace.

Boldly Facing the Future

Just when I was feeling a little off balanced, the death of Kate Spade put my life back into perspective.

One week ago today I cut my hair, feeling fresh, nostalgic, and ready for the summer.  However, part of that act gave me that same old feeling I had four years ago prior to moving to New York City.  It was a positive feeling- but another of pain.  It made me question my decisions, wonder if I made a mistake by leaving, and feel guilty for everything that went wrong these past four years.

Then, I stopped.

Everything happens for a reason.

Had I not left New York City in July 2016, things may have turned out much differently- and much worse.  Looking back and reflecting on my life, and the life of Kate Spade, I want to express the importance of getting help, self care, and mental health awareness.

I moved to New York as if the city were a band-aid; the magical cure.  I would step into a new life, forgetting old wounds, childhood pain, and inner struggles.  Instead, all of my wounds burst open- but I had another chance.

I chose to step back, take a break, and get help.

I started my blog 6 days after moving to Boston, which is a manifestation of my own journey, lessons, and appreciation for life.  I am beyond grateful to the people who have supported me on my journey and believed in me when I stopped believing in myself.  I haven’t been perfect since coming to Boston, but life has been much better than the Kristin I left behind in 2016.

So, here I am, downtown Boston- with new glasses, a new haircut, and a new perspective. No longer afraid to face the challenges of life, I can say with confidence:

Life is beautiful.