These days I am no longer impatient about waiting.
It took 33 years for me to learn patience; idle time gives you a moment of peace to reflect, breathe, and notice the world around you.
As I write in my notebook and enjoy the sunshine on my shoulders, I’m full of gratitude for the world around me. This is a drastic change from my former anxious, nervous self. I used to expect doom, but now I expect miracles.
Those miracles come in many forms. It could be a phone call from a friend I was just thinking of, the kindness of a stranger, or finding a small treasure on the street (this happens to me often!).
Miracles are all around us- we just have to stop, remain present, and connect with both the universe and the world around us.
When you’re more mindful, the universe delivers magical, meaningful moments. I hope you are able to stop and smell the roses today, enjoy the moment, and see life in rose colored glasses. 🌹
I was so excited for 2018 to begin. I made a vision board (two, actually), rang in the new year with good friends, and went back to work. Things were good.
Then, something happened. I hit a wall. Or, if we want to be poetic, I fell down.
Over the past few weeks I’ve been in one of the biggest lulls I can remember- one of those lulls where I couldn’t even muster to write. This was probably one of the worst things I could have done, since writing is extremely therapeutic for me. There are many things that triggered this downfall- the snow days, the time off work, finances, breakups, issues with friends, and winter depression- but then I realized: I’ve also been kind of a jerk.
I’ve been hard on people as I have been going through this “spiritual awakening,” and I think I’ve been more depressed than I wanted to admit. So, as a defense mechanism, I’ve pushed people away and sat in my own misery.
As a “lone wolf,” I have insisted on handling situations by myself, spending time alone, and cutting people out of my life when things didn’t work my way.
But I can’t play the victim any longer.
It’s been no one’s fault but my own. There was a string of events that happened since the end of the year that continued to build up- one after another. Sure, some of the guys I dated hurt me, friends and I have gotten into arguments, and people have looked to me for support when I could barely support myself. However, that is no reason to be selfish, cut people out, or avoid support.
It’s time to put on my big girl pants and own up to my side of the street.
This isn’t easy to write… but I have recently started to learn that it’s okay to let people in. To really, truly let people in- not avoid phone calls, resist love, or decline invitations. I know I have written about relationships and support time and time again, but instead of just writing about it, I need to own it. I’ve learned over this past week that people are genuinely good, and do care about me. Nobody is perfect- and I am definitely not either.
We all have more similarities than differences.
I am confident that this hermit streak and wave of depression was placed into my life to make me even stronger for what is next. I’ve been so stubborn for so long that I couldn’t even see it until now.
I am sincerely sorry to all of the people I may have hurt, and I hope to become a better woman thanks to this lesson. Thank you to everyone who has supported me and checked on me these past three weeks. I care about you and am forever grateful for helping to pick me back up.
A few months ago I wrote about ways to raise your vibration, which is the frequency of your energy. The higher your vibration, the better your mind, body, and spirit will feel. A high vibration will result in a happier life, more peace, clarity, joy, and love.
When your vibration is high, it’s much easier to manifest the life you want and take control of your destiny.
But what if you’re lowering your vibration without even knowing it? The lower your vibration is, the less connected you are to your higher self. This results in negativity, selfishness, poor health, anxiety, and many other unfavorable factors. As I look back at my own past experiences, I realize how many things I once thought were fun and harmless were actually lowering my energy, hurting my health, and making me miserable. A low vibration is also damaging to your immune system, causing anxiety, depression, pain, illness, and disease.
Instead of relieving our stress, addictions actually lower our vibration and block our connection to our higher selves. For a moment, these addictions give us a synthetic sense of being in the present moment, when in reality, they’re pushing us further away from consciousness. Pharmaceuticals, alcohol, shopping, sex, and gambling are all examples of common addictions that give us fake or temporary highs.
For example, alcohol is called a “spirit” for a reason- it numbs our psychic senses and often turns us to the dark side. Rooted from the Arabic “al-kuhl,” meaning “body eating spirit,” alcohol can do much more bad than good. I started and stopped time and time again over a six year period, only to realize life is much better with a clear mind (not to mention body and spirit!). Sure, it can be extremely uncomfortable to experience all of your emotions, but with a strong spiritual foundation, these feelings are much easier to handle.
Electronics and Media
We can’t deny that we’re all reliant on our phones. Now, add laptops, iPads, Kindles, and television to the mix- how often are we completely tech-free? Although these devices have become a part of our everyday lives, they can be extremely damaging to our sleep cycles, mental health, eyes, and muscles. The energy of prolonged electronic use can not be healthy to our bodies, yet the affects of the content we’re consuming is an entirely different story.
The media is flooded with tragedy, fear mongering, negativity, and materialism- yet it’s prominent in our society. When did our culture, as a whole, forget the beauty of walking in nature, reading a physical book, or working on a craft? For me, it’s important to have a healthy balance. I suggest going a day or two without the media to see how you feel.
Junk Food and Processed Foods
It can be a challenge to avoid quick meals during our busy lives. While living in New York I often forgot to eat, so I’d pick up a piece of pizza, hot dog, or pretzel at a street stand. Oh, and who doesn’t love street meat?! Delicious, sure- but definitely not supportive to my health or energy level. I’m still very guilty of this, but I’ve been trying to plan better, buy healthy snacks, and eat meals consisting of mostly veggies.
Have you noticed how much better you feel when your diet is rich with fruits and vegetables? Eating raw or vegan is a wonderful way to increase your health and your vibration, but it’s not for everyone. As much as you can avoid junk and processed foods, the better off you will be.
When we look at physical things to satisfy us, we’re disconnecting from the spiritual world. Sure, this works for many people- but when is enough enough? A wise man once said, “mo money, mo problems,” and he was right. Cutting back on “things” has made me so much happier, less stressed, and more content with what I do have. Today, I look to spirituality, not spending, when I am feeling lost.
I have written a lot about my experience with completely changing my life back in 2016 when I left New York City. From fashion blogger to frugal, I had no idea that it would be the start of one of my greatest passions- minimalism. Although I had more clothes than I could account for, a big paycheck, and a fancy zip code, I was constantly depressed. I thought a boyfriend, a job, a new handbag, or a drink would fix things- but they never did.
I’ve sometimes wondered why my path has been so up and down, back and forth. From the cities I’ve lived in to the variety of jobs on my resume, people have never been able to quite figure me out. I don’t care. However, as I reflect on the past ten years or so, my passions and values have been exactly the same; I just didn’t know what to do to manifest them into a stable life.
I’ve done all kinds of things to seek stability, but in the end, they just weren’t in alignment with my creative nature or the purpose lined up for me. I’ve had an incredible need to experience all life has to offer, yet when my heart is full and I’m doing what I love, I see no need for anything more.
This past year was a time of “cleaning house,” letting go, and laying the foundation for the future. Before now I never asked for what I wanted… because I didn’t quite know yet.
I’ll be ringing in 2018 the same way I did last year– going to The Nest for Brenda’s New Year’s Eve party and making vision boards. I had a great time last year, just shy of one month into my life in Massachusetts. Back then I had no idea what my future would look like; I just wanted to heal and be happy.
and I did.
My vision board for 2017 was spot-on aside from a trip to Paris and a money tree. It wasn’t a very ambitious vision board… it looks like I set out to spend the year lounging in bed (partially true). Jokes aside, I’m no longer spinning my wheels like I used to. There was a lot of self-discovery, self-care, and self-compassion. I gave myself a break of trying to be “perfect” and used the year to document the lessons I learned along the way.
I used to dip my toes into situations only to pull back out and try something new. No; not any longer. I’ll be turning 33 this Friday (12/22!) and I’m no longer concerned about checking off “life boxes” like I was in my 20’s. I’ve had many opportunities to check them all more than once, but I turned my nose and chose freedom.
I’ll always choose freedom. The right person won’t restrict me from living out my purpose, because I’ll be in alignment with my soul.
It’s extremely exciting and uplifting to know that our thoughts create our reality. We have the freedom to build whatever we want in this life. In 2018, I will no longer sell myself short- I’ll continue writing, keep a budget, find that publisher, finish my book, travel more, and connect with even more amazing people who inspire me to be the best I can be. Thanks to finally doing work I love, living in a place that feels like home, and surrounding myself with people who encourage me, I have a newfound faith in the future.
Most importantly, I have a newfound faith in myself.
I’ve been doing a lot of reading on the collective energy this past year, wondering if I was the only person feeling a major “shift.” I’ve felt an awakening ever since January, and it turns out I’m not the only one. 2017 has been an amazing year of transformation, growth, and enlightenment. As the year wraps up, today marks a special gateway into peace and prosperity: the 12/12 Time of Remembering.
I came across Jenny Schultz‘s blog, which had a wonderful explanation of this powerful time:
What does the Time of Remembering mean?
It means that all are being shown who they are and also who they are not. One will see what they need to, experience what they need to in order to step fully into their power and embody all that they are. Another will be shown very clearly where they have given away their power to institutions, beliefs, and other people. Most of you will experience a melding of both. As you embody all that you are in each moment, all that you are not must also come to light. Understand that in each moment you are being given a choice.
What type of choice?
You are being given a choice to push past all the doubt and disbelief and honor who you know that you are at your core. In order to do this, all the layers of the matrix must fall away. This can be liberating for some, but many experience deep discomfort as all that they know is being challenged.
Letting old densities leave us can be extremely uncomfortable, causing anxiety, worry, and doubt. We’ve all been through a lot this past year, so now is the time to prepare for 2018. As we have let old habits, beliefs, doubts, and patterns fall away in 2017, 2018 will be a time to build, grow, and manifest our goals. It’s time to live the life you love!
Be conscious of the signs that may be leading you on the right path. 12/12 has many other spiritual significances, connecting us with our higher self.
You’re connecting with the collective
12 represents unity, and two of them together are twice as powerful! On 12/12, people all over the world are meditating at 12:12 (both AM and PM). If you get the chance, please tap into that positive energy! When in doubt, remember that you are part of something much bigger.
You’re on the right path
It’s such a relief to get just a tiny sign that you’re on the right path. Perhaps you’re thinking of changing careers, picking up a new hobby, or finally writing that book- if so, 12/12 is confirming that now is the time! Be careful to start new projects until after Mercury Retrograde, though- until December 22nd, be weary of communication issues, technical failures, and confusion. Now is the time to plan, not execute!
It’s a time of manifestation
Continue to follow your path and dreams! I’ve been searching for meaning in my life, and 2018 is the time for it all to come to fruition. It’s easy to try to hurry and watch the pieces fall into place, but remember to go with the flow. If things aren’t working as planned, try to be patient and know that you’re being supported.
It’s so easy to give up when it feels like you’re far from your goals. Seeing 12:12 is a sign to remember to stay positive- you will better manifest your goals with the power of thought.
I’ve reflected a lot on my goals, what I used to think I wanted, and what I know I want now. As I get closer into alignment, my faith in the future has grown stronger- at last, I know I am supported.
When you’re on the path to becoming the person you are meant to be, there will be many road blocks and challenges along the way. Just because you may see the world differently doesn’t mean everyone around you will, too!
Think of these road blocks as tests to challenge you and to see whether you are on the right path, or whether you have fallen into your old habits. Are you handling these situations as you would have before, or have you developed new skills to better handle them? It’s important to maintain a high frequency despite the bad energy that comes your way- these low vibes want you to fall to their level. Don’t let them! I have learned that the low vibes will continue to stick around until you show the universe that you won’t let them disrupt your positive energy.
I’ve also experienced a lot of discomfort while making positive life changes over the past year. It hasn’t been easy to live authentically, but I know that change is necessary for growth, learning, and my overall happiness.
I’ve noticed several “growing pains” that, although uncomfortable, have been signs that I’m on the right path to authenticity. Have you experienced any of these, too?
Becoming A Loner
I’ve been much more comfortable in my own company over the past year. I used to fill my social calendar with events, happy hours, coffee meetups, and dates- especially when I felt a void in my life.
I’ve never been afraid of being by myself, though. In fact, most of my life I have preferred it. So why is it hard for me to sit with myself when I am feeling uncomfortable? Over the past year I have sat with many feelings of loneliness- but those feelings were an indication that I needed to work on my relationship with myself (the greatest relationship of all!).
Cutting Off Unhealthy Relationships
I would much rather live a peaceful life than spend my time combatting energy vampires! I used to constantly give multiple chances to people who have made me feel bad about myself or tried to steal my joy, but life is too short. I value myself and my time today. Sadly, I have had to cut off many people, simply because they were not in alignment with the energy I want to exude. Today I am no longer comfortable with spending time with Negative Nancy’s who will find problems wherever they go.
Now what? Once you have cut the negative energy and chaos out if your life, you may find yourself wondering “what’s next?” Your life used to be filled with drama and excitement, but now it’s just… life. And that’s okay. I’ve begun to enjoy uneventful days and quiet evenings much more than I used to. It may take a while to grow accustomed to this lifestyle change, but know that you’re on the right path to becoming the best you.
Health Becomes More Important
I didn’t think a lot about my health when I was unhappy with myself. How could I be? If I didn’t value myself, I certainly wasn’t concerned about caring for my body. Something began to change, though- as I became happier with myself, I started to eat better. Getting sufficient sleep became more important, too. I used to live off little sleep, coffee, and nervous energy- but now I know that it only causes me to be grumpy, irritable, and impatient. As I become more mindful of my body in the short term, I’m caring for my body in the long term, too.
You Feel More Feelings
Have you been feeling more emotional? It’s possible that you have been numbing your true feelings with busyness, relationships, work, or addictions. Have you faced your emotions or have you been masking them?
If your answer is, “I’ve faced them,” great! Now you are much closer to overall awareness and self actualization. There’s a good chance you haven’t faced these feelings, though. In order to grow, you must recognize your emotions. You no longer have to push them under the rug or be afraid of your feelings- vulnerability can be a gift in the healing process.
You Become More Self Aware
Not only have you become more aware of your feelings, you’ve become more aware of who you are as a person, too. You know your faults and the traits you want to work on. You’ve acknowledged what is healthy for your life and what you will no longer accept.
You’re Unapologetically You
You are what you are- and you won’t apologize for it! I used to be a chameleon and fit in with many groups of people, but although this characteristic is helpful in business and basic social situations, I am much more selective about who I allow in my life today. I wouldn’t want to fit in with everyone! The people I surround myself with bring out my positive attributes, not tear them down.
When you’re in alignment with the person you are meant to be, you won’t fit in like you did before. You will see the world much clearer, more serene, and with a sense of purpose. The noise from the outside world will no longer affect you so much and you will begin to find ways to improve the world around you, not complain about it. As you continue to discover your true self, remember that the positives far outweigh the negatives. Although it can be uncomfortable at first, keep doing you- you’ll thank yourself later.
It’s hard to believe that this time last year I was getting ready to move to Boston!
Last Thanksgiving I flew into Michigan to plan, pack, and purge. As I mentioned in my second blog post, I packed extremely light before my move and was well on my way to becoming a full-blown minimalist. People always laugh and think I am joking when I tell them I consider myself a minimalist, but I don’t know many others who have lived a full year on just one small closet of clothes and no TV, car, or computer (my laptop died a while back, so I’ve been writing on my WordPress app or at the library). Less has certainly been more… much more.
I used to think “things” made people happy. In today’s society, how could I not have? As our nation seems to become greedier, I am more and more turned off by money and excess “stuff.” After living with what I actually need and nothing more, I’ve become more responsible with my money, time, and space. I’ve learned to truly appreciate what I do have and treat everything with care. Minimalism has taught me to be happy with myself- not stuff.
Not only do I treat my things with care, I’ve learned to treat myself with more love and compassion, too. It has been a fulfilling year of being my own best friend, but also a bit uncomfortable and lonely. As we go through a spiritual awakening and become the people we are meant to be, we shed old habits, views, and relationships. It’s been a year of ups and downs, but it’s also been a year of strength.
I have better learned who I am, what I actually need, and what matters in life.
Before moving nearly one year ago, I spent much of my life listening to outside influences- not my heart. My intuition always had an answer for me, but I was too nervous to follow its guidance in fear I wouldn’t fit in. It’s true that I have always felt a little “different,” but now I consider my differences gifts, not flaws. TodayI wouldn’t want to be anyone else.
I used to spend my energy concerned about what other people thought of me- instead of using my creative talents, I hid them. Instead of continuing projects, I stopped in fear of failure. Conflicting views and opinions left me confused, anxious, and depressed- so when I moved last year, I decided it was time to stop. Nobody knew me in Boston, so what did I have to lose?
I can’t control what others say, think, or do- so I might as well stay true to myself.
Although I am staying in Massachusetts this year, I will have my “family of intent” to share Thanksgiving with. We all have the family we are born into, but we also have special people who are in alignment with our souls. I consider this my “tribe;” the friends who have encouraged me to write, to be myself, and to follow my heart. Once I learned to value myself, compatible people and opportunities began appearing in my life. While much of my past has been shed this past year- old pain, fears, insecurities, and habits, I am so grateful for the new relationships that have helped strengthen and guide me along the way.