Categories
empowerment self discovery

How to Boost Self Confidence

As I begin to work with a new client, I gave her a simple exercise to complete for me today:

List 20 things you like about yourself.

This seems simple enough, right? I did this exercise for myself yesterday as I sat on the beach and put together a program to help her shift her perspective and see herself through a new lens.

The first step to changing your view is to focus on the positives.

It’s so easy to pick at your flaws and view all of the negative aspects of yourself or your life. However, when you focus on the good, it’s amazing how much better, well rounded, and positive you feel in all areas of your life.

After I receive her list, we will begin to expand on each point she listed. Everyone is different, and everyone has their own unique talents and gifts.

I’m here to help show each and every woman they are worthy of love, success, and happiness- but it all starts from within.

Categories
empowerment self discovery

The Path To Becoming Your Authentic Self


When you’re on the path to becoming the person you are meant to be, there will be many road blocks and challenges along the way.  Just because you may see the world differently doesn’t mean everyone around you will, too! 

Think of these road blocks as tests to challenge you and to see whether you are on the right path, or whether you have fallen into your old habits.  Are you handling these situations as you would have before, or have you developed new skills to better handle them?  It’s important to maintain a high frequency despite the bad energy that comes your way- these low vibes want you to fall to their level.  Don’t let them!  I have learned that the low vibes will continue to stick around until you show the universe that you won’t let them disrupt your positive energy. 

I’ve also experienced a lot of discomfort while making positive life changes over the past year.  It hasn’t been easy to live authentically, but I know that change is necessary for growth, learning, and my overall happiness.  

I’ve noticed several “growing pains” that, although uncomfortable, have been signs that I’m on the right path to authenticity.  Have you experienced any of these, too?

Becoming A Loner 

I’ve been much more comfortable in my own company over the past year.  I used to fill my social calendar with events, happy hours, coffee meetups, and dates- especially when I felt a void in my life.  

I’ve never been afraid of being by myself, though.  In fact, most of my life I have preferred it.  So why is it hard for me to sit with myself when I am feeling uncomfortable?  Over the past year I have sat with many feelings of loneliness- but those feelings were an indication that I needed to work on my relationship with myself (the greatest relationship of all!).

Cutting Off Unhealthy Relationships 

I would much rather live a peaceful life than spend my time combatting energy vampires!  I used to constantly give multiple chances to people who have made me feel bad about myself or tried to steal my joy, but life is too short.  I value myself and my time today.  Sadly, I have had to cut off many people, simply because they were not in alignment with the energy I want to exude. Today I am no longer comfortable with spending time with Negative Nancy’s who will find problems wherever they go. 

Boredom

Now what?  Once you have cut the negative energy and chaos out if your life, you may find yourself wondering “what’s next?”  Your life used to be filled with drama and excitement, but now it’s just… life.  And that’s okay.  I’ve begun to enjoy uneventful days and quiet evenings much more than I used to.  It may take a while to grow accustomed to this lifestyle change, but know that you’re on the right path to becoming the best you. 

Health Becomes More Important

I didn’t think a lot about my health when I was unhappy with myself.  How could I be? If I didn’t value myself, I certainly wasn’t concerned about caring for my body.  Something began to change, though- as I became happier with myself, I started to eat better.  Getting sufficient sleep became more important, too.  I used to live off little sleep, coffee, and nervous energy- but now I know that it only causes me to be grumpy, irritable, and impatient.  As I become more mindful of my body in the short term, I’m caring for my body in the long term, too.

You Feel More Feelings

Have you been feeling more emotional?  It’s possible that you have been numbing your true feelings with busyness, relationships, work, or addictions.  Have you faced your emotions or have you been masking them?

If your answer is, “I’ve faced them,” great!  Now you are much closer to overall awareness and self actualization.  There’s a good chance you haven’t faced these feelings, though.  In order to grow, you must recognize your emotions.  You no longer have to push them under the rug or be afraid of your feelings- vulnerability can be a gift in the healing process. 

You Become More Self Aware

Not only have you become more aware of your feelings, you’ve become more aware of who you are as a person, too.  You know your faults and the traits you want to work on.  You’ve acknowledged what is healthy for your life and what you will no longer accept.  

You’re Unapologetically You

You are what you are- and you won’t apologize for it!  I used to be a chameleon and fit in with many groups of people, but although this characteristic is helpful in business and basic social situations, I am much more selective about who I allow in my life today.  I wouldn’t want to fit in with everyone!  The people I surround myself with bring out my positive attributes, not tear them down.

When you’re in alignment with the person you are meant to be, you won’t fit in like you did before.  You will see the world much clearer, more serene, and with a sense of purpose.  The noise from the outside world will no longer affect you so much and you will begin to find ways to improve the world around you, not complain about it.  As you continue to discover your true self, remember that the positives far outweigh the negatives.  Although it can be uncomfortable at first, keep doing you- you’ll thank yourself later. 

Categories
conscious living self discovery

Nurture It and It Will Grow

Last February I bought a plant for my desk at work.  I’ve never been known to have a green thumb, but as I passed the flower shop in the lobby of my office building I was drawn to a Peace Lily

She sat on my desk and brightened my stressful, cold winter days.  After long weekends I would return to work to find my little plant lonely, wilted, and sad.  Feeling discouraged, I would give her water hoping she would perk back up.

Sure enough, she did.

My plant has been a valuable lesson for me to remember that we need to nurture in order for things to grow.  This is includes our work, our friendships, our creative projects, and most importantly: ourselves.

It’s easy to get discouraged when things don’t happen fast enough or when something doesn’t grow as quickly as we expect.  My Peace Lily has been proof that when I pay attention to something every day and nurture it, it will continue to live and grow.  It may have shed some leaves that were unhealthy, but it’s still alive and blossoming- just like us. 

Categories
conscious living empowerment mindfulness

Struggle Brings Strength


Sometimes you need to step away from the life you’ve been living and reset yourself for the future.

It can be a lonely journey while you’re aligning with your true self.  Letting outside influence has blocked me from truly following my heart, finishing projects, and doing more meaningful work.  Doubts and fear have changed my path repeatedly over the past decade, but thanks the struggles, I now have strength to stand still.  Just like the moth, we have to struggle to escape the cocoon- our old self- to become what we are meant to be.

Over the past year I’ve been shedding my old beliefs, behaviors, relationships, and limitations.  It hasn’t been easy learning to act and view things differently than I have in the past.  I used to be defensive and took everything personally; now I’m trying to avoid attaching these negative “stories” to meaningless events.

We are all going through our own struggles, but one thing I have learned: happy people aren’t mean.  Love isn’t selfish.  When we align ourselves with our true beliefs, heart, and soul, compatible people and opportunities begin to appear.  I’ve experienced this many times throughout my life- the right people always come to me at the right time, the phone rings after I’ve been thinking about someone, or a job pops up out of the blue.

If you’ve been feeling confused about why you keep repeating the same patterns, it’s likely that you haven’t learned your lesson yet.  Despite moving to a new city last year, I still held on tightly to  resentiments and the people who hurt me in the past.  Unknowingly, I let my old mistakes and pain limit me from reaching my potential.

No matter how difficult your path seems now, try not to give up.  There have been many times this past year I have wanted to; I’m used to running away when life is hard.  Just three months ago I felt absolutely helpless- I learned I needed to find a new apartment with two weeks notice and didn’t have work lined up.  Figuring out how I could pull off finding and funding a new place to live seemed impossible.  Not knowing what else to do, I nervously sat in the park day after day drinking coffee, making phone calls, applying to jobs, and listening to positive messages from thought leaders like Wayne Dyer.  I can look back at those horribly uncomfortable days now and laugh, but back in August all I could manage to do in my spare time was pace the streets of Boston or sit by the ocean in between my legwork.

One day after writing and meditating at the beach, I was on my way to the library to do more work when the phone rang.  I never answer my phone while on the train, but for some reason I did.  It was a phone call about a work assignment for the following day.  Just when I had exhausted all of my worrying and felt like giving up, I saw a little bit of light.

Ever since that day, I have kept following the light.

Life may not unfold exactly how you expect, but that’s what is so exciting.  Living your authentic life for yourself- not for someone else- will lead you on the right path.  Keep shining… life will get brighter.  Enjoy the magic and surprises along the way!

Categories
mindfulness

What’s holding you back?

unnamed-21

Today I started my Sunday with coffee, conversation and a dose of Gabby Bernstein. She has been an inspiration to me through her spiritual teachings and explanations of energy, the universe and overall perspective.

Gabby put on a free New Year Breakthrough webinar to start 2017 off on the right foot, but more importantly, to help us make permanent changes to help manifest the amazing year we want to live.

She explained how the only New Year’s Resolution you need is to discover the root of the behavior or bad habit you want to change– and work on changing that behavior or attitude. Without acknowledging the “why” to the bad behavior, it’s impossible to consistently make improvements and change.

Gabby explained the five steps to healing, ultimately resulting in a true change in both your thoughts and behaviors. I took notes of what my own attitudes and behaviors were while she went through the steps:

1- What is the core belief or wound behind the bad habit?

Abandonment and rejection.

2- Look closely at the behavior behind the feeling or habit. What are your bad behaviors?

Since I’m afraid of abandonment and rejection, I find myself pushing people away, quitting activities or jobs, procrastinating, treating my body poorly and judging myself or others. Since I have these fears, I haven’t 1) reached my full potential 2) developed a meaningful romantic relationship or 3) found my niche in the workplace.

3- Become willing to heal.

In order to make changes, you first have to want it and be willing. If I consider asking for guidance, I’m taking a crucial step in radical self-forgiveness, healing and change. Letting go of ego, a defense mechanism for fear, is a huge part of my path to recovery- I have to let the negative thoughts go. I continue to run to avoid failure, which is blocking my path to healing.

4- Tapping method- tap on the struggle or behavior.

Gabby explained the Tapping Method, which is an Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). Doing a conscious “tapping” on our body will help to focus our energy on our current stress and acknowledge our willingness and capability to change.

More here:

5- Forgive who we were and accept who we are today!

Sure, 2016 was rough- but it’s a brand new year! We must remember that we have to be forgiving of ourselves, know that we did the best we could for the situation that was handed to us, and act differently in the future.

We must remember it is safe to let go of the past and to give it over. If we carry resentments today, we can’t receive the gifts of tomorrow.

“I forgive myself, I accept myself, I release who I used to be. I am new.” -Gabby Bernstein

In case you missed it, you can still check out Gabby’s webinar today at 4PM EST, 10PM EST or get a full replay.