Prior to moving to Boston I spent a month in Mississippi. I met many interesting people there, one of which happened to be a former UMass baseball player (are you connecting the dots?). Anyway, this was a turning point in my life- and after years of running from myself, I decided to face life head-on.
Every now and then people from those Southaven days will reemerge- and it’s always at the perfect time.
Just the other day I was thinking about how my relationship dynamics have changed drastically in the last few months. Men I used to date no longer speak to me disrespectfully as they used to, happy people are gravitating toward me, and Negative Nancies of the past are realizing I won’t join their pity party- and although it’s been a slow process, it started with how I responded.
Remember- you can choose what you want to accept or not.
People are realizing I am different now- and that constitutes being treated differently, too. Thank God. I have finally stepped into the person I was always supposed to be without being scared of my power, my talents, or my voice. I stopped letting men sexualize me for a sense of worth, I stopped altering my views to fit in, and I stopped holding back my thoughts.
So, over the weekend I randomly received a message from a friend I met in Southaven. It was a time of immense self development (and people saw me in my most vulnerable state), so it’s always interesting to see how everyone is doing. Out of the blue, he told me he had a dream about helping me run- either running toward or away from something. It didn’t take me long to figure that one out.
“I was running away from my old self.”
In the dream, he must have been trying to help me leave the old Kristin behind- the Kristin I so desperately clung onto for so long. Instead of opening a fresh page, I was stuck on the last chapters.
In order to run toward the future, you must be at peace with the past. Now, I’m willing to let go of the old and run toward what is next- what I am meant to be- and I’m already witnessing it before my very eyes.
“Last Saturday in the South”