A Woman’s Intuition is Always Right

You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you first meet someone?

That little sign that says, “stay away,” or even, “he seems a little douchey?”

I try not to generalize or stereotype (keyword: try), so I often used to ignore that gut feeling.

I give the poor chap the benefit of the doubt, despite his obvious attempts at overselling himself. Over the past 15 years or so I’ve seen the same patterns, over and over, and as soon as I do, I shake my head and think “damn it, Kristin, you already had this one pinned.”

Within the first few exchanges, if a man suggests going on vacation with you, talks about your future, wants to introduce you to his family, or takes you somewhere elaborate, run. Fun fast.

Listen to your intuition.

It won’t oversell itself to you.

Positive People: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

“Stay positive” is a common term loosely used in day-to-day life, often by people who say they’re positive, yet act the opposite. Although the power of our thoughts and words are a major component in personal growth, the way one acts around others plays an even bigger part in the Power of Positivity.

Positive thinkers aren’t just people who avoid negative thoughts- they are people who know how to handle the negativity rather than avoiding it.

So, what else makes a person positive? Over the years I’ve thought about this quite often- especially when navigating my own challenges in life. Here are a few things I’m still working on myself, and may even help you along your own journey.

They Go With The Flow

Positive thinkers know they can’t control each and every situation. Instead of causing a fit when things don’t go their way, they find meaning and lessons in everyday life.

They Grow From Experiences

Have you ever noticed how the same challenges pop up in your life, but manifest in different forms? Whether it’s the sexist boss or the obnoxious roommate, you’ll continue to encounter these people until you learn how to handle them in a new, more productive way. The universe is funny like that.

They Admit When They’re Wrong

Positive thinkers are able to push their egos aside. They know when and how to be humble, and are comfortable admitting their shortcomings- especially when it affects the feelings of those around them.

They Know How to Say No

This is extremely important- setting healthy boundaries can be crucial to maintaining friendships and honoring one’s own self care. People pleasing may seem like the easier route, but will wear you out in the long run. It’s better to be honest and say “no” than to build resentments.

They Don’t Change Around Other People

Positive thinkers stay true to themselves around everyone in their life. They hold strong to their opinions, but don’t take offense when others don’t agree.

It takes a lot of practice to handle negative people or situations, but when you discover your truth- and walk in it- your life flows more effortlessly. You will no longer take everything so personally, not will the opinions of others matter so much.

When you love you, magical things start to happen.

“She’s already had everything she needs within herself. It’s the world that convinced her she did not.” -Rupi Kaur

Family of Intent

It’s been almost two years in Boston- and what an adventure it has been.

When I first moved here, I only knew one person- a cute guy who I only talked to for my first two weeks. Knowing it wasn’t going anywhere, I moved on and proceeded to focus on myself- I found a place to live, a job, and new friends.

That first friend was Brenda, who welcomed me into her home, “The Nest,” complete with a cuddly cat and a basket full of slippers. She was precious; a friend who was such an angel I didn’t feel I deserved her. I was far from perfect-and I still am- but after two years, I recognize that she has always seen the light in me when I couldn’t see it for myself. Friendships like that are invaluable.

The holidays are coming up, and like the past few years, I’m spending it away from my family in Michigan. This doesn’t bother me. As much as I miss them, I have learned a valuable lesson from Brenda:

Your family can extend to your family of intent.

We develop soul connections over the years, meeting people of all walks of life who fill our hearts and help us become better people. Sometimes our own families may not understand or relate to us as those on the outside do; which is why it’s so important to realize your family of intent- the family you choose for yourself- is just as crucial as your own blood relatives.

No matter what your plans are for the holidays this year, remember how important authenticity and being true to yourself is. Cherish the people who love and understand you. Have gratitude for those who will lend a listening ear no matter what. Most importantly, try not to shy away from people who love you for all of your flaws. I may not always feel I deserve wonderful people in my life like my own mother, friends like Brenda, or even the love from a sweet feline, but I do.

I’m worthy of pure love- and so are you.

Sometimes, it takes your family of intent to help you recognize you’re beautiful for your gifts, your flaws, and the path you have walked.