Categories
authenticity mindfulness self care self discovery spirituality

Take Time To Yourself While You Can

There’s no “finish line” of life.

Sure, life will come to an end at some point, but we never know where our journey will lead.

We don’t run the show as hard as we may try.  We can’t finagle our own little plans and designs to go our way, because the Universe already knows where we belong- and when pieces will fall into place.

While sitting at my favorite cafe, Brew, I chatted with one of my dearest friends who I met in 7th grade.  Both bullied, we bonded over the years due to our struggles and strength.  Today, she’s married with two kids, a house, and a lot of responsibility.

“Take time to yourself while you can,” she told me.

“I tell my sister the same thing.”  Her sister, also a friend of mine, is beautiful, strong, and sophisticated- and single.

Lately I have been feeling lonely (obviously- I left Boston to return to my hometown), thinking I want a partner.  I have been thinking about all the guys I have met, wondering why they didn’t choose me- and why people I know have partnered up and I haven’t.

Then, I realized:

I’m not quite ready.

Loving myself, spending time with friends, and embracing my family is where I am at now.  I’m becoming the most authentic version of myself that I can be, and I am no longer willing to let someone try and change me.

When he comes along, he will come along- and he will be strong. He will love me for me. He will encourage me to be thrive.  He will be ready for me, too.

But for now, I’m taking time to myself while I can.

Categories
mindfulness

Table for One- Enjoying a Date with Yourself

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Coffee at one of my favorite NYC spots, Cafe Lalo

Dining alone has been one of my favorite pastimes through the years, from solo meals during travel to lunchtime people-watching along city streets. I’ve never been uncomfortable eating or showing up places by myself- from movies, museums, bars to concerts- I enjoy my own company. I love being in my own little world, the lack of small talk, and coming and going as I please.

I remember one particular evening a few years back when I took myself on a date. Yes, a date- with myself. I was living in San Francisco and had a free Friday evening; no plans, no friends around, no dates lined up. I thought to myself, “what would I do if I did have a date? What would I want to do?” I was in the mood for sushi, so I decided to take a stroll to Japantown, where I indulged in a glass of wine, sushi rolls and a movie at Sundance Kabuki. It was the perfect Friday night with me, myself, and I.

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Looking back, not much has changed in the past six years. I still thoroughly enjoy my own time and space and have lived in three other cities since that San Francisco evening. It goes without saying that I don’t have a problem adjusting to new, unfamiliar environments. However, this move has been different; this time I haven’t made much effort to be social. I’ve been given opportunities and have been asked out on dates, but lately something clicked:

Being alone sure feels good.

No compromising, no miscommunication, no confusion. Time to myself- time to reflect, learn, and grow. Time to be me. Whether you’re single or attached, there is something priceless about becoming your own best friend. As Carrie Bradshaw said,

“The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

Being alone has taught me to be my own best friend, my spirituality has become my support system, and staying in the moment has kept me grateful for what I have.

Until the day comes when I meet someone who is worth sharing my chocolate lava cake with, I’ll enjoy every bite to myself. After all, the best things are worth waiting for- and I won’t settle for vanilla.

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