Nothing Will Go Away Until It Teaches Us What We Need To Know

Running away from my problems used to be my favorite coping mechanism.

I can still fall prey to this old bad habit; I’ll hope people who bother me will disappear, or I will leave situations when I’m uncomfortable.  However, every time I do this the same people pop back up, and the same situations manifest in a different way… over and over again.

It’s a fact.

I could write about endless examples, but there’s one I have in mind which was so bitterly uncomfortable that I’m still surprised I got through it.  When I had a difficult roommate, I obviously thought the solution was to move.  To run away.  Despite receiving the silent treatment for weeks, I didn’t leave- and get this:

I was kind.

I still said “excuse me” when we would pass each other in the hallway, and I still tried to be considerate despite her obvious distaste for me.  Although I really had no idea what I had done wrong, I didn’t cower or run away- but I did later learn she had been secretly drinking.

It wasn’t even me that was the problem.

Old Kristin would have run away to avoid the feelings of rejection, discomfort, and anger- but New Kristin dealt with the situation, stuck to her guns, and now has a much better living situation because she stuck with it.

Completing things you started can be difficult- especially for someone like me who hates to be uncomfortable.  If you were to ask me in an interview today if I am a “team player,” I would probably stop lying and tell them I work best independently.  The truth is, I’m not a team player- I’m one of those kids who got frustrated in school and did the entire project themselves.  As a control freak and type-A person, I kept trying to do everything myself, over and over again, and do it MY way.

But those bad roommates will keep coming along, and so will team assignments.  It’s up to you to choose how to handle them today.

Maybe I do work best independently, and I look forward to the day I don’t have roommates anymore.  Nevertheless, as long as I remain teachable and willing to put down my ego and learn to live life differently than I used to, I’ll be just fine.

New Moon in Virgo: Time to Fly!

The New Moon is my favorite time every month, representing the beginning of a new cycle and phase of our lives.

We say goodbye to the last chapter, welcoming the new energy before us.

Now is the time to spread your wings and fly.

Have you been thinking about starting that new project, taking a leap of faith, or working on something creative?  With this New Moon energy, you’ll be beautifully supported in your latest endeavor.

Listen to your intuition- what is it telling you?

From one of my favorite sites, Forever Conscious:

August has held the potential to be a turning point month so if you are feeling like your life could use some fresh inspiration or motivation, if you have been feeling a little stuck or stagnant or resistant to change, set an intention or take a small action under this New Moon in order to seal this energy into your life.

The cosmos offer the energy, but we have to be the ones to take it and integrate it into our being. This energy only exists as a potential unless we step forward and make the most of it.

Seeing as this New Moon falls in the sign of Virgo, we are also going to receive the comfort and support from Virgo’s totem, the Virgin Goddess. Although she is a Goddess, her energy applies to all genders.

You can read more about the meaning behind the Virgin Goddess in my Virgo Season article, but essentially, this is a time of independence and for standing in our truth. It is also a time for getting organized and getting our priorities in order, including our health.

What are we giving our time and energy to that is not supporting the vision or life we wish to create?

Creativity is a huge part of my life, but in the past I’ve held back from fully expressing myself, putting my work out there, or believing in my own art.

As I spread my own wings and take a chance, my spirit is lifted and my creations seem to come naturally.

I’m excited to see what this next chapter brings- and I know I’m supported in my journey.

Bracelets: Olivia Burton and MantraBand

Being An Introvert Isn’t Isolating

Today I decided to debunk one of the biggest introvert misconceptions of all:

That introversion and isolation are the same thing.

I shared a status on Facebook from four years ago, when I lived in a doorman building on the Upper West Side.  Every time I walked in, and every time I went on the elevator to my 6th floor apartment, I had to make small talk.

Every.  Time.

Sure, it’s nice to be greeted or to have someone acknowledge you, but sometimes, believe it or not, you just want to walk in, go upstairs, and be left alone.  So, I would keep my sunglasses on, pretend I was talking on the phone, or keep walking straight to avoid the small talk.

After sharing my status from 2015, my best friend from my hometown commented:

“Thank you for this.  I cannot stand small talk, I would rather not say anything at all!”

She gets me.

Even though we live over 1,000 miles apart, those are the connections that mean so much to me- I would rather have quality friends who understand me than a large number of people who don’t.

Some people gain energy from other people, and others gain energy from being alone.  That’s the difference between an extrovert and an introvert.  In a city like New York or Boston you’re constantly surrounded by so many people, being stimulated left and right, that it’s easy for an introvert to get drained.

This is why I spend so much time in the park, outside, and journaling by myself.  Whether I’m reading by the river or hanging out at home with the cat, my recharge time is extremely sacred, and necessary, to maintain my sanity.

It’s completely different than isolating.

I’m positive that the world around me would rather have a recharged, calm Kristin than a snappy, reactive one- and that latter is what you’ll get if I don’t have ample alone time.

Dedicated to my fellow introverts and Rachel, who *always* gets me, no matter where in the world we are.