You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you first meet someone?
That little sign that says, “stay away,” or even, “he seems a little douchey?”
I try not to generalize or stereotype (keyword: try), so I often used to ignore that gut feeling.
I give the poor chap the benefit of the doubt, despite his obvious attempts at overselling himself. Over the past 15 years or so I’ve seen the same patterns, over and over, and as soon as I do, I shake my head and think “damn it, Kristin, you already had this one pinned.”
Within the first few exchanges, if a man suggests going on vacation with you, talks about your future, wants to introduce you to his family, or takes you somewhere elaborate, run. Fun fast.
Listen to your intuition.
It won’t oversell itself to you.
Being stuck on the train is always a good time to start a new post.
Appropriately, this made me start to think about patience.
2018 has been yet another year for self discovery, picking yourself back up, and learning to think differently in this crazy world we live in. In January I set out with big hopes and dreams, got discouraged when they didn’t work out fast enough, and lost hope- briefly.
Then, at the end of August, I realized an important lesson: life has other plans for me.
Instead of looking at the outside to determine my success and worth, I began to look even deeper within.
I found myself going back to teaching this past fall while I continue to write, work on myself, and help others learn to live their best life. I hadn’t expected to start teaching again, but the opportunity appeared right when I least expected it.
We try so hard to perfectly plan each move we make, only to find that life works on its own timeline. Each detour provides a lesson to react differently than we have in the past, whether it’s a stopped train in Cambridge or coping with a loss.
As I work with others in every area of my life, I’m grateful for all the lessons I’ve learned in 2018 and try to implement them on a daily basis. On some days I learn patience with students, and on others I learn to let unkind words roll off my back.
Life certainly does have its own timeline, and it’s my job to make the most of everything it brings my way.
As I strolled through the Back Bay and down to the Esplanade yesterday, I felt a new sense of freedom. It was a beautiful fall day, and I had the chance to head to my favorite spot in Boston- the Charles River.
The freedom I felt was greater than just being able to take time out to enjoy nature, though- it was a sense of freedom within.
I went to a meeting where I saw some people from my past who I avoided due to resentments- and not only did I face those people for the first time in over a year, I raised my hand and spoke about it.
“Resentments kept me sick and my secrets held me hostage.”
For a long time, I only let half of my true self be known.
People in the group nodded and smiled. Over the years, I found every reason in the book to avoid groups, places, jobs, family, or friends- all due to uncomfortable feelings, resentments, or disagreements. Running was my favorite pastime- but not in the jogging sense of the word. I ran from discomfort.
“I’m no longer willing to water down my story or hide from the world,” I continued. In the past I was extremely fearful of judgment or rejection- but the only person that hurt was me. The more honest I am, the more I learn how accepting others are- but I also learn which people don’t matter.
I’ve been working on being my authentic self, loving my truth, and owning my story no matter what others have to say about it, and that is the greatest freedom of all: