A Woman’s Intuition is Always Right

You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you first meet someone?

That little sign that says, “stay away,” or even, “he seems a little douchey?”

I try not to generalize or stereotype (keyword: try), so I often used to ignore that gut feeling.

I give the poor chap the benefit of the doubt, despite his obvious attempts at overselling himself. Over the past 15 years or so I’ve seen the same patterns, over and over, and as soon as I do, I shake my head and think “damn it, Kristin, you already had this one pinned.”

Within the first few exchanges, if a man suggests going on vacation with you, talks about your future, wants to introduce you to his family, or takes you somewhere elaborate, run. Fun fast.

Listen to your intuition.

It won’t oversell itself to you.

Life Works On It’s Own Timeline

Being stuck on the train is always a good time to start a new post.

Appropriately, this made me start to think about patience.

2018 has been yet another year for self discovery, picking yourself back up, and learning to think differently in this crazy world we live in. In January I set out with big hopes and dreams, got discouraged when they didn’t work out fast enough, and lost hope- briefly.

Then, at the end of August, I realized an important lesson: life has other plans for me.

Instead of looking at the outside to determine my success and worth, I began to look even deeper within.

I found myself going back to teaching this past fall while I continue to write, work on myself, and help others learn to live their best life. I hadn’t expected to start teaching again, but the opportunity appeared right when I least expected it.

We try so hard to perfectly plan each move we make, only to find that life works on its own timeline. Each detour provides a lesson to react differently than we have in the past, whether it’s a stopped train in Cambridge or coping with a loss.

As I work with others in every area of my life, I’m grateful for all the lessons I’ve learned in 2018 and try to implement them on a daily basis. On some days I learn patience with students, and on others I learn to let unkind words roll off my back.

Life certainly does have its own timeline, and it’s my job to make the most of everything it brings my way.

True Freedom: Letting Go of Resentments

As I strolled through the Back Bay and down to the Esplanade yesterday, I felt a new sense of freedom. It was a beautiful fall day, and I had the chance to head to my favorite spot in Boston- the Charles River.

The freedom I felt was greater than just being able to take time out to enjoy nature, though- it was a sense of freedom within.

I went to a meeting where I saw some people from my past who I avoided due to resentments- and not only did I face those people for the first time in over a year, I raised my hand and spoke about it.

“Resentments kept me sick and my secrets held me hostage.”

For a long time, I only let half of my true self be known.

People in the group nodded and smiled. Over the years, I found every reason in the book to avoid groups, places, jobs, family, or friends- all due to uncomfortable feelings, resentments, or disagreements. Running was my favorite pastime- but not in the jogging sense of the word. I ran from discomfort.

“I’m no longer willing to water down my story or hide from the world,” I continued. In the past I was extremely fearful of judgment or rejection- but the only person that hurt was me. The more honest I am, the more I learn how accepting others are- but I also learn which people don’t matter.

I’ve been working on being my authentic self, loving my truth, and owning my story no matter what others have to say about it, and that is the greatest freedom of all:

Freedom within.

Let’s Write Our Own Life Stories

It’s amazing how many inspiring people I’ve had the opportunity to connect with through my writing. Just the other morning I woke up to an email from a lovely girl named Celine.

She had discovered a piece of mine on Thought Catalog that resonated with her own powerful message:

“When did we start to receive raised eyebrows and concerned looks when talking about our hopes and dreams?

How odd is it to live life as we are supposed to? Like, how weird?

All we get is one life to live. Every day we experience is unique and will never come again. Ever. Time goes in only one direction and it starts running out the second we are born. And yet we spend hours and days and years and maybe even a lifetime trying to live up on other’s expectations.”

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read her email. It was as if I had met a soul sister- and I did! 💞

After watching her video, I sent her an email to let her know how amazing it was how she is spreading this message at such a young age- although I’ve always lived the life I loved, in the back of my mind I still questioned myself.

Despite following my dreams, I allowed society to make me feel inferior or “weird” compared to those who followed a conventional path.

Here’s a little breakdown of my life, post-college:

  • When I was 21, I thought I needed to get a corporate job to be considered successful.
  • When I was 22, I got engaged.
  • When I was 23, I called it off and moved to San Francisco.
  • When I was 25, I thought I needed a relationship that was on the road to marriage.
  • When I was 27, I created a fashion blog to validate myself to others.
  • When I was 29, I moved to New York City and thought I needed to work in fashion and make a lot of money to “be someone.”
  • When I was 31, none of the above “worked” for me and I finally stopped concerning myself with outside forces, moved to Boston, and became honest with both myself and others.

I started Mindful in Style on December 7th, 2016, and it’s been an amazing journey ever since. I learned vulnerability is a gift, and being different is one of the biggest blessings that I never even asked for.

Life is all about following what is in your heart, listening to your intuition, and enjoying the journey.

It’s not about what others think, what you “should” do, or where you’re at in the timeline of life.

There IS no timeline.

Celine has been a wonderful inspiration to both myself and thousands of others on YouTube. I’m grateful there are many other young women who know that outside validation won’t determine your worth or value to the world.

Your value comes from within.

Thank you, Celine, for reaching out to me. You have been a shining light in my life this past week! 💫

Living a High Vibe Life

I have a secret for you.

This morning I woke up with anxiety. Yes, every now and I still wake up uncertain about the day and wonder where my path will lead. However, now I know how to flip my thinking and realize how beautiful life is.

There’s no reason to worry- everything is happening in perfect and divine order.

This is a huge difference between my life today and my life before. I wasn’t the type of person to naturally smile through challenges, look for the positives when things got hard, and I definitely didn’t step outside of myself when I was stressed.

Today I’m able to live a high vibe life no matter what the circumstances.

As I stroll through the Public Garden on my way to lunch, I’m in awe of all the beauty around me. I watched children play among the ducklings, smiled at strangers, and hummed to my iTunes as I crossed over to Newbury Street.

It’s amazing how the simple pleasures can bring the most joy.

Maintaining a high vibration allows abundance to flow, both spiritually and monetarily. When you’re able to look at the good in the world around you and focus on your blessings, it attracts even more likeminded people, opportunities, and joy.

Even when the world seems dark, you have the chance to be the light.

Keep Shining

Davis Daze

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When One Door Closes, Another Door Opens: Embracing Endless Opportunity (Even When You’re In Limbo)

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It’s funny how having faith in the unknown can be one of the most comforting feelings.  Even though it’s hard to be in “limbo,” having endless possibilities is both exciting and encouraging.

“The benefit of having little clue as to what is happening in one’s life is the possibility that something amazing is right around the corner.”

My friend Ashley tweeted this quote a few years ago, which has become my go-to any time I feel discouraged.  In the five years I’ve known Ashley, we’ve both moved states multiple times, switched cities, changed boyfriends, left jobs, started websites, and one of us was even on a TLC dating show.

Needless to say, both of us have had little clue as to what was going on in our lives.

I’ve written for Ashley’s website Kinda Kind for two years now, and I’m ever-so-grateful to her for providing a platform for me to segway into writing about mindfulness and self improvement.  Two months before my first Kinda Kind post I accidentally deleted my fashion blog; even though I have no idea how it happened (not to mention my initial mini meltdown), it was a breath of fresh air.  I was ready to get rid of my fashionista identity and wanted to start a writing career with substance.

It was also around that time in 2016 when I started to purge my possessions, focus on quality over quantity, and made meditation and mindfulness a top priority in my life.  2016 was an extremely rough year, but thanks to the struggles, I gained a whole new strength.  I had no idea that my challenges would result in a life of mindfulness and minimalism, but I’m sure glad it did.

Back in 2016, Ashley left San Francisco to move back to Chicago, and I left New York City- the place I thought was my heart- that July.  The year ended on a positive note with my move to Boston and a newfound optimism, faith, and zest for life.  I just knew there was something wonderful out there for me- and even though I didn’t know what it was, I was confident I would find it.

I’ve had a lot of changes since moving to Boston.  Over holiday break I started to re-think teaching, concerned about going a week without pay.  Although I adored it (with the exception of the biting and hitting), it was barely enough to cover my rent.  It’s a hard pill to swallow when you made 4X the money a decade ago, straight out of college.  I considered a part time job, but I knew it would be too stressful for me to manage it all.  So, with no idea what I would do, I continued to write, put in the legwork, and reach out to my connections.

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I’m proud of myself for how I handled my “limbo” phase.  Sure, I went hermit for a while and was a bit depressed, but I pulled myself out of it and re-gained my energy.

Once my energy was back it was time to start pounding the pavement.  Last Monday I spotted a post on Facebook from one of my San Francisco friends, looking for someone to hire for a part-time role.  It seemed perfect- an Austin-based fashion brand had a huge need for someone to help with messaging and customer communication.   By Thursday, I had a company email address and got started on my first projects.

It gets better.  The following day I met with a criminal defense law firm about a marketing and assistant role.  Some of you may know this, but most of you probably don’t- prior to marketing, I worked at a San Francisco law firm and studied for the LSAT.  On a warm spring day back in 2009 I walked over to the University of San Francisco to take the test- with absolutely no desire to actually go to law school.  I’m not sure what happened in those six months, but I was certain law school wasn’t in the cards.

Although I decided I didn’t want to be an attorney, I’ve always loved law firms.  I don’t know why- I think it partially has to do with the fact my father was a lawyer (I used to “help out” when I was a little tike), but also due the interesting nature of the cases.

Fast-forward to a week later, I officially have two jobs doing things I love, I’ll be working with great people, and will still have the time to write.  I couldn’t have planned this out more perfectly on my own, which just goes to show that worrying is a waste of time and energy.

It’s amazing what the Universe delivers when you have faith.  Ashley and I chatted about this the other day- now living in Los Angeles, she’s also looking for that “next step.”  As she grows her brand I offered to help in whatever way I can.  That said, I’m excited to share that I’ll be a regular contributor to Kinda Kind, focusing on self-improvement and relationships!  I’ll be sure to share the launch of the new website sections when they’re live.

I’m grateful to have someone in my life like Ashley.  She totally gets it when I share my life challenges- no judgement, no eye-rolls.  Both Capricorns yet free spirits, we have a million ideas in our heads, but sometimes it’s difficult to prioritize.  This is exactly why you just need to go with the flow of the Universe- one door may close, but there’s a shiny door waiting for you just down the road.  Trust me.

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