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conscious living mindful at home

Without the Show, This is Humanity

Today I came across this soothing shot, taken spring 2015 on 98th Street outside my Upper West Side apartment. 

Without the restaurants, shows, and Fifth Avenue shops, what is New York City?

Without the downtown bookstores, film crews, quirky dives, coffee shops, and comedy clubs, what is New York City? 

Without the tourism, the busy streets, the style, and the glamour, what is New York City?

New York City is humanity. 

New York City is quiet days of reflection in the park. It’s sitting on a bench and watching the squirrels.  It’s the creatives and the dreamers. It’s laughter and joy.

It’s clapping outside your window to honor the healthcare workers who have put their own health on the line. 

New York City is coming together. 

The best memories I have of my years in New York City weren’t the clothes I wore or the food I ate. It wasn’t the guys I dated or the celebrities I met. As much as I loved the entertainment and the opportunities, I also embraced the solitude; the anonymity combined with the feeling of never being alone. 

The best memories were the moments I learned, grew, and connected- and shared stories with others who felt just as lost, broken, yet hopeful as I did.

Without the show, New York City is full of soul.

The show will eventually go on, but with a different tone. After this time of reflection, uncertainty, loss, and fear, there will also be growth. There will be realizations.

Humanity will come together again, and hopefully, we notice those bright lights and glittery scenes in a new, healthier way.

Categories
empowerment self discovery

Where I See Myself

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“I want to write. I want to write stories that make people feel less alone than I did. I want to make people laugh about the things in life that are painful. That’s what I want to do.” –Hannah, Girls

I am finally finishing Girls, one of my favorite TV shows.  Over the past couple of years I’ve been absorbed in my own life, without HBO (until now) or television in general.  However, it’s a good thing I am finishing the series when I am, because the synchronicities between Hannah Horvath and myself are out of control.

Not only is she an only child from Michigan like me, she moved to New York City with the dream of becoming a writer.  She got herself into ridiculous situations, met a plethora of crazy characters, and even was published in the Modern Love section of the New York Times- yet another goal of mine.

When asked where she wanted to be in three to five years by author Chuck Palmer (who stated how much he loves Traverse City, my hometown), she told him she wanted to write.

The vulnerability of writing is powerful, healing, and helpful to others- and like Hannah, I want to write to make people not feel so alone, too.

I’ve never been good at “jobs;” as a creative person, I’ve struggled in office environments.  I’ve had creative differences with people I have worked for.  I have had a vision, a dream, and a wild streak- something that employers generally don’t value or understand.

Freelance writing is something I am looking to do full-time, yet working on my book is my top priority right now.  In addition to writing two Modern Love stories, I have an outline for a fictional, yet semi-autobiographical book based on my life in New York City and beyond.

We will see where my path leads, but I know who I am, and I know what I am good at.  I know my dreams and goals, and in this chapter, I won’t let sitting at someone else’s desk get in my way.

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Categories
self discovery

Being An Introvert Isn’t Isolating

Today I decided to debunk one of the biggest introvert misconceptions of all:

That introversion and isolation are the same thing.

I shared a status on Facebook from four years ago, when I lived in a doorman building on the Upper West Side.  Every time I walked in, and every time I went on the elevator to my 6th floor apartment, I had to make small talk.

Every.  Time.

Sure, it’s nice to be greeted or to have someone acknowledge you, but sometimes, believe it or not, you just want to walk in, go upstairs, and be left alone.  So, I would keep my sunglasses on, pretend I was talking on the phone, or keep walking straight to avoid the small talk.

After sharing my status from 2015, my best friend from my hometown commented:

“Thank you for this.  I cannot stand small talk, I would rather not say anything at all!”

She gets me.

Even though we live over 1,000 miles apart, those are the connections that mean so much to me- I would rather have quality friends who understand me than a large number of people who don’t.

Some people gain energy from other people, and others gain energy from being alone.  That’s the difference between an extrovert and an introvert.  In a city like New York or Boston you’re constantly surrounded by so many people, being stimulated left and right, that it’s easy for an introvert to get drained.

This is why I spend so much time in the park, outside, and journaling by myself.  Whether I’m reading by the river or hanging out at home with the cat, my recharge time is extremely sacred, and necessary, to maintain my sanity.

It’s completely different than isolating.

I’m positive that the world around me would rather have a recharged, calm Kristin than a snappy, reactive one- and that latter is what you’ll get if I don’t have ample alone time.

Dedicated to my fellow introverts and Rachel, who *always* gets me, no matter where in the world we are.

Categories
self discovery

Heavenly Bodies

Categories
self discovery

Full Circle

Today is the four year anniversary of my one-way flight to New York City.

After an amazing weekend, which included quality time with a dear friend, visits to all my favorite spots, delicious food, and stops at all three of my old NYC apartments, I realize how much I have changed since that day on the 18th of June.

Although I live in Boston now, I always have a piece of New York in my heart- and today I know I can have both.

Life is all about balance.

Four years after that one way flight to New York City, I realize I never ruined anything, missed any opportunities, or took the wrong path. Everything happens in perfect order.

With a clear mind and an open heart, my arms are open for whatever comes my way. 💜

Categories
self discovery

Back to NYC

We all have a destiny, and I am moderately certain mine is growing old writing on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, sitting in Riverside Park, and going to Zabar’s.

Retirement #goals.

Tonight I’m heading back to spend the weekend in NYC with my dear friend Nicoline. We haven’t seen each other since a Camille Styles book signing at West Elm back in 2014. Nevertheless, it’s been a long time.

That fateful October was the last time the SF Giants won the World Series, which was how we met.  Over conversation, baseball, and mutual ex boyfriend, we had the same Hunter Boots on as we watched the game at a Finnerty’s on 2nd Street.

Ah, memories.

The one year of Joe’s passing is approaching on July 1st, and Nicoline and I have become closer than ever since.  I am sure he would find it hilarious that we are friends.  Although we dated the same guy at one point in time, we were able to see past it and be there for one another.  That is what life is all about- and I am grateful.

Although it won’t be our Giants, we are heading to Yankee Stadium to celebrate our reunion over baseball and brunch.  I can’t wait.

A weekend getaway is just what I need- to reflect on where I’ve been, where I’m at, and how far I have come.

🧡

Categories
self discovery

Full Circle- New Moon and NYC

My four year anniversary of moving to New York City is coming up on June 18th.  Is it still an anniversary if you don’t live there anymore?  Not sure.

Nevertheless, I flew in on a Wednesday night.  The following Thursday morning, I headed to my apartment on 98th and Broadway, sight unseen, where 10 boxes were waiting for me with the doorman.  I had seen the apartment on a Skype tour with my roommate/landlord, emailed and texted with the other girls who lived there, and while this action would not seem logical (or even safe) to most, it made perfect sense to me.  Mailing a check for $1,550 to a stranger?  Sure.  I just knew everything would be fine.

Intuition has gotten me through everything.  Everything.

The day I moved in, I unpacked a few things and headed down the street to get lunch.  I found a place nestled on Amsterdam and 96th with TVs.

There were more people than I would have expected at the bar, eating wings and intently watching some kind of game.  Oh- soccer.  I liked soccer.

I didn’t even understand the importance or care about the World Cup four summers ago when I moved to NYC, but it quickly became my favorite thing.  Why?  Easy- it was socially accepted to go to the bar at noon and eat nachos with cute boys on the Upper West Side.

I met one in particular- Moshe, but he went by Mo- who was from Toronto and lived just north of me on 111th.  We met on my first Saturday in the city when I went to the ‘dam (which has since closed) over eggs benedict and grilled cheese.  He asked me out to dinner that night, and soon after he became one of my favorite summer companions.  World Cup games, Long Island pool days, and Sundays in Riverside Park.

We’re still buddies.

That brings me to my weekend plans- and how much times have changed.

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On Friday afternoon I am heading back to NYC for the weekend- yet I didn’t even consider that it would be the four year mark of my big move.  It feels very appropriate; the New Moon in Gemini, a different Kristin, and of course, coming full circle.

It has not been an easy four years, but I am excited to enjoy a weekend in the city with an entirely new perspective.  Not one with a broken heart like the broken heart I had when I arrived June 18th, 2014 and when I left July 25th, 2016, but with a happy, whole one.

A heart that is grateful.  A heart that knows she doesn’t need boys, beer, or bars.  A heart that is content within herself.

I know my behavior was reckless when I lived there.  I know that.  I am grateful to have gotten out alive (quite literally).  However, those memories are pieces of my life that shaped me into the tough little cookie I am today.  I’ve learned I don’t need to be tough all of the time, though- only when I need to be.

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I couldn’t be told that, though.  I had to learn for myself.

Happy New Moon, everyone.  Let’s set intentions, dream big, and move forward- even when we second guess ourselves.  This is a time to keep going- to keep moving forward with those projects and goals.

I used to avoid success through dating and drinking, and guess what?  It didn’t work.  The Universe knew there was something bigger for me, and I trust that.

“It’s never too late- never too late to start over, never too late to be happy.” -Jane Fonda

Categories
self discovery

Quick, Curious, Playful, and Strong

Clinch Park Marina, Traverse City
2013 ShopStyle Campaign
Cherry Capital Airport
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Central Park Stroll
Remembering Kate Spade

Thank you Katy for all of the moments of style and inspiration.

May we continue to live colorfully and curiously. 💞✨