Step Into The Daylight and Let It Go

My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in

Everyone looked worse in the light

There are so many lines that I’ve crossed, unforgiven

I’ll tell you truth, but never, “Goodbye”

It’s strange how you can think about someone every day for half a decade, and then one morning… it stops.

He stops appearing in your dreams and haunting you in your nightmares.

You stop daydreaming about him being someone he is not, never was, and never will be.

Your nights are peaceful and your days are full of light.

You come to realize you deserve much more; more than he was ever willing to give.

You finally love right where you are, who you have become, and the future ahead of you. No longer dwelling on the past, you’re open to whatever is in store tomorrow.

On this particular morning, I’ve let go of the darkness and am ready to step into the daylight.

No One Can Define My Sobriety (Or Life) But Me

It’s no surprise to most people when I tell them I don’t drink.

Whether they’ve seen me out of control in the past or have read my articles, I am finally open about being sober these days- and that’s a breath of fresh air.

I’ve made mistakes, though.

There have been many relapses (or “slips,” as some may say) since deciding to get sober in 2011, including a full two and a half years where I went back to drinking consistently.  I damaged relationships and racked up many, many new stories during that period of time, yet I learned a lot about myself- and what I do and don’t want out of life.

I went back to drinking several times while living in Boston, racked up even more stories, and learned that a structured recovery program gives me more anxiety than it does comfort and strength.  Although community helps many people, I am more of a one-on-one type of person.  I believe in therapy, working on yourself, and taking responsibility for your actions.

This may be controversial, but this is my truth:

I don’t want or need entities or other people to determine the quality of my sobriety.

I’m the only one who has to determine what is best for my life- and I want people to judge who I am based on my character, not my sobriety date.

I have a serious issue with groups who judge or push others to open up about things to they don’t want to.  There is no “one size fits all” method for anything in life, and putting down the booze is no different.  I have put so much pressure on myself over the years and have had immense anxiety about what other people think of me- but I am done with that.  

I’m honest with my family, good friends, and even strangers online- and that works for me.

There are several friends of mine who aren’t “in recovery” who have told me the same thing- that I don’t have anything to prove to anyone but myself. “You don’t drink now,” two of them said. “That’s all you need to say.”

Below is something my friend of 22 years texted me yesterday:

Amen.

It’s also no one else’s business if I am on a prescription, if someone has Medical Assisted Treatment, or what “date” someone put down the drink.

It’s my life, not theirs.

People have the option to do what works for them.  For me, it’s connecting with people who are healthy and aligned with my spirit.  It’s nature, writing, and self discovery.  It’s mediation and mindfulness.  It’s been open and honest about who I am and what I stand for.  It’s living in my truth, and living a spiritual life of reflection and growth.

I hope my own journey can inspire someone who go on their own journey, no matter what way it may lead.

Never let anyone make you feel bad about choosing your path- you know what’s in your heart and in your soul.

Simple Pleasures

The best things in life are free.

The older I get, the more I enjoy time to myself, strolling the streets, and taking in all the beauty around me.

As a city dweller, it’s easy to become conditioned to more- more action, more material things, and more excitement. However, with so much to see and so many beautiful things to take in, it doesn’t take any money or resources to have a wonderful day- just simple awareness.

I’m grateful to be able to stop and smell the roses- with a little mindfulness and gratitude, you’ll see that the simple pleasures in life truly are the best.

Stop and Smell the Flowers: New Moon in Taurus

Happy New Moon in Taurus!

This cycle’s energy is all about balancing work and play, giving and receiving, yin and yang.

Remember to stop and enjoy the beauty all around you, skip down the street, and sing along to your favorite tune! Life isn’t as serious as we can make it out to be.

Remember to charge your crystals, sage your home, and set your intentions. Now is a powerful time to harness this grounding Taurus energy!