Categories
self discovery

Do Unmarried Women Really Live Longer?

Valentine’s Day has come and gone- the day full of Hallmark cards, chocolates, flowers, and sweet nothings.

If you’re unattached like I am, it’s another day to love yourself, eat candy, and remind your friends you care. I sent cards to far-away gal pals, bought a stuffed animal for my cat, and made myself scallops and fries on Valentine’s Day; sounds pretty perfect, right?

Lately it seems my friends are more concerned about me finding a date than I am. It’s usually the married ones. I just smile and say I’m not looking- however, I am open. I won’t rule anything out. Nevertheless, going on dating apps and searching for a partner isn’t of interest to me.

I like my life how it is, and I don’t want anyone to change that.

The truth is, I am not looking for a relationship. When I meet someone who matches my energy, however, I may reconsider.

Dating at 35 is much different than in your 20’s. Since being in my 20’s, I’ve seen friends marry, have kids, and get divorced. I’ve watched them have affairs and stay in unhappy marriages. I’ve had friends vent to me about their sexless love life and tell me they’re envious how I’ve been able to do what I want.

Well, it’s because I choose to live this way.

In your 20’s and even your 30’s, many people look for a partner because they think that’s what “you’re supposed” to do. But when you realize partnership may not be all it’s cracked up to be, you chose to love yourself first.

~

An article popped up in my feed this morning that I couldn’t help but share. I’m sure many of my Facebook friends would disagree, but I couldn’t help but wonder- are single women wasting their energy looking for a partner when their happiness has nothing to do with whether or not they’re coupled up?

Are they just searching to compromise, to have their identity shattered, and to settle for less than what they dreamed of?

You see a single woman of 40, who has never had children – ‘Bless, that’s a shame, isn’t it? Maybe one day you’ll meet the right guy and that’ll change.’ No, maybe she’ll meet the wrong guy and that’ll change. Maybe she’ll meet a guy who makes her less happy and healthy, and die sooner,” (Paul Dolan) reasoned during the panel.

Many celebrities and public figures agree, especially Gloria Steinem. “The two happiest groups are married men and unmarried women,” the famous feminist once stated.

Maggie Parker, Parade Magazine

Maybe unmarried women really do live longer. Maybe they don’t. Whatever the case, I can say the key to living a fulfilling life is to do what makes your soul happy- so if that’s going home to your cat or to a house full of people, do that. Everyone is different.

Listen to yourself.

Categories
empowerment

Can’t Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

So, I have some thoughts on the poor behavior of some of the men who live in the world.

I received a message from a guy I went to college with.  We have been friendly for years, but he’s always been flirty.  However, once he started making comments about my body, me losing weight, and my chest (referring to them as “puppies”), I told him to please stop.

I called him out on his behavior, saying his wife probably wouldn’t like that.  He told me he was “rolling his eyes” at my comment.

Okay, but would she?

Well, he can do whatever he pleases on his own watch, but I won’t condone the behavior.  The old Kristin may have played along, and perhaps I would have even been flattered, but not any longer.

I am on the female’s side.

I am ABSOLUTELY sick of the way some married (or attached) men speak to women who aren’t their partners.  Absolutely sick of it.

Wives, girlfriends, and mothers deserve better than the way some of these men act.  This isn’t up for discussion or debate.  If what you said to me made me or another woman uncomfortable, then it’s not acceptable.  We are not “too sensitive.”

If you’re bored and unhappy, leave.  Why did you even get married to begin with?  So someone else can take care of you while you go out and play?

This is one of many reasons I don’t aspire to get married.

There’s my two cents for the day.  Oh, and if I had a dollar for every time something like this happened, I could retire today and buy a house on an island.

Call them out.  Break the cycle. Let them know it’s not okay.  Someone has to.