Believe: The Gateway to Self

German philosopher Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “Magic is believing in yourself. If you can do that, you can make anything happen.”

On this 12/12, I have been thinking about everyday magic and living in infinite possibilities.

Keeping my eye out for synchronicities and signs, I have made a conscious effort to stay connected, grateful, and in my own truth.

12/12 is a magical gateway to transformation, helping to guide you closer to your soul purpose and passions. This gateway assists in feeling confident, empowered, and loved; the old will begin to slip away and make room for a newness that will be better aligned with your heart.

You can find magic each and every day- you just need to be open to what life brings you. As we stop listening to what others on the outside say and begin to listen to what’s inside, a new peace is found and unexpected doors will open.

All you need is to believe in yourself- then others will, too.

Growth: How Intuition and Awakening Cause Big Changes

It’s hard to explain why my life has changed so much so many different times these past 10 years. Part of it has to do with being a free spirited young adult, yet today it finally clicked.

As I have changed, and as my spiritual awakening has been happening, the things around me have changed right along with it.

I happen to be a highly intuitive and clairvoyant person, so my gut always tells me or sabotages a situation I know isn’t right. As my consciousness grows and as I stop mixing the messages from society and the outside world, I catch myself. I question big life factors. And, abruptly, I make a change. Although most people don’t understand this or may call my changes erratic, to me they make perfect sense in the end.

From changes such as calling off a wedding and moving to San Francisco from my home state (I had never lived anywhere else at that point) to quitting jobs or moving apartments, change is no stranger to me.

With each change, I move closer to my purpose.

With each fall, I emerge even stronger.

I learn, I feel, and I grow. I listen to my heart center today and do the best I can without letting the outside world sway me any longer.

For years, I listened too much to others- not from the divine guidance from source, which manifests in my life as intuition and synchronicities.

I’m happy to finally realize this for myself, but it sure has been difficult to explain to others- but I know I don’t have to today.

and, when you listen to your intuition, sometimes even a little magic happens.

A Lesson on Waiting

These days I am no longer impatient about waiting.

It took 33 years for me to learn patience; idle time gives you a moment of peace to reflect, breathe, and notice the world around you.

As I write in my notebook and enjoy the sunshine on my shoulders, I’m full of gratitude for the world around me. This is a drastic change from my former anxious, nervous self. I used to expect doom, but now I expect miracles.

Those miracles come in many forms.  It could be a phone call from a friend I was just thinking of, the kindness of a stranger, or finding a small treasure on the street (this happens to me often!).

Miracles are all around us- we just have to stop, remain present, and connect with both the universe and the world around us.

When you’re more mindful, the universe delivers magical, meaningful moments. I hope you are able to stop and smell the roses today, enjoy the moment, and see life in rose colored glasses. 🌹

Keep Shining

Limited Beliefs: The Only Thing Holding You Back

In a world of hustle and bustle, taxes and retirement plans, societal norms and laws, it can be difficult to embody a spiritual life.  I’ve spent much of the past few years questioning the “expectations” of our culture, usually standing critically on the sidelines and running off to do my own thing.  Living as simply as possible has been crucial to my happiness, but our world always has a way of reminding me to stay grounded and focused on the light.  Instead of falling into depression or anxiety about the chaos around me, I chose to live in my own little world.

Who are we to say that the world can’t be a magical place?

Remember the excitement and wonder we had as children?  The curiosity we had for what was around every corner, for what each day had in store, for the enchantment of the unknown?  I’ve lived a lot of my adult life this way; discovering new places, making new friends, finding myself in once-in-a-lifetime situations.  I had a great sense of wonder as I moved from city to city, neighborhood to neighborhood.  I still feel that way as I explore places I’ve never been, snap photos of buildings I’ve never seen, and meet people from all over the world.

However, the “real world” sets in.  People criticize us, remind us of our failures, pick at our faults, and tell us our dreams aren’t possible.  That’s dense 3D energy that you don’t need.  No one ever achieved greatness by being held back by their critics.   As we enter the New Moon in Capricorn, I’m trying to leave behind my limited beliefs- the beliefs that tell me things aren’t possible, that I can’t, or the voice telling me “that won’t happen.”

Anything can happen.

Most of the magical moments are those we never expect.  I never would have been able to make up many of the tales I have yet to tell had I not had that wide-eyed wonder and joy.  Moving to New York City was a huge part of this for me; it seemed like a fantasy land where reality didn’t exist.  In a city of bright lights and dreams, I had the belief anything was possible- but just because I’m no longer doesn’t mean the magic has ended.  In fact, it’s more powerful than ever- because I’m conscious of it.

The best is yet to come.  

During this New Moon, I am letting go of what I once was and making room for the magic that is on its way.  Although I recently deemed harmony as my word of the year, my theme for 2018 is limitless.  Limitless opportunities and infinite possibility.  The only person who has held me back from success, happiness, or stability is myself; if I continue to follow my heart, listen to my soul, and continue working hard, the magic will present itself.

and this time, I won’t have to chase it.

Struggle Brings Strength


Sometimes you need to step away from the life you’ve been living and reset yourself for the future.

It can be a lonely journey while you’re aligning with your true self.  Letting outside influence has blocked me from truly following my heart, finishing projects, and doing more meaningful work.  Doubts and fear have changed my path repeatedly over the past decade, but thanks the struggles, I now have strength to stand still.  Just like the moth, we have to struggle to escape the cocoon- our old self- to become what we are meant to be.

Over the past year I’ve been shedding my old beliefs, behaviors, relationships, and limitations.  It hasn’t been easy learning to act and view things differently than I have in the past.  I used to be defensive and took everything personally; now I’m trying to avoid attaching these negative “stories” to meaningless events.

We are all going through our own struggles, but one thing I have learned: happy people aren’t mean.  Love isn’t selfish.  When we align ourselves with our true beliefs, heart, and soul, compatible people and opportunities begin to appear.  I’ve experienced this many times throughout my life- the right people always come to me at the right time, the phone rings after I’ve been thinking about someone, or a job pops up out of the blue.

If you’ve been feeling confused about why you keep repeating the same patterns, it’s likely that you haven’t learned your lesson yet.  Despite moving to a new city last year, I still held on tightly to  resentiments and the people who hurt me in the past.  Unknowingly, I let my old mistakes and pain limit me from reaching my potential.

No matter how difficult your path seems now, try not to give up.  There have been many times this past year I have wanted to; I’m used to running away when life is hard.  Just three months ago I felt absolutely helpless- I learned I needed to find a new apartment with two weeks notice and didn’t have work lined up.  Figuring out how I could pull off finding and funding a new place to live seemed impossible.  Not knowing what else to do, I nervously sat in the park day after day drinking coffee, making phone calls, applying to jobs, and listening to positive messages from thought leaders like Wayne Dyer.  I can look back at those horribly uncomfortable days now and laugh, but back in August all I could manage to do in my spare time was pace the streets of Boston or sit by the ocean in between my legwork.

One day after writing and meditating at the beach, I was on my way to the library to do more work when the phone rang.  I never answer my phone while on the train, but for some reason I did.  It was a phone call about a work assignment for the following day.  Just when I had exhausted all of my worrying and felt like giving up, I saw a little bit of light.

Ever since that day, I have kept following the light.

Life may not unfold exactly how you expect, but that’s what is so exciting.  Living your authentic life for yourself- not for someone else- will lead you on the right path.  Keep shining… life will get brighter.  Enjoy the magic and surprises along the way!

Choosing Grace, Not Aggression

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“I want peace. I want to see if somewhere there isn’t something left in life of charm and grace.” -Margaret Mitchell

Life sure is funny.  Just when I was beginning to feel strong standing on my own two feet, the universe threw me a curve ball to test (and strengthen) my skills and strength.

This past weekend was challenging.  Despite the joy I was experiencing, the wonderful community I have found and my own practice of self care, outside forces triggered past pain and emotions- and this scared me.  Instead of self destructing as I have in the past, I took a deep breath, sat on a bench and called a friend.

Setting healthy boundaries has been a huge part of my own happiness and recovery, as I have experienced insecurities, pain and fear due to the messages I have received throughout my life.  This includes family members, teachers, peers, boyfriends and even public figures.  I have consistently questioned my worth, second guessed myself and backed down when I began to achieve some form of success.  I had no confidence- if what I was doing wasn’t “perfect” it wasn’t worth doing.  My self esteem and foundation were always a bit rocky, but old feelings of fear crept up on me when someone’s criticism and judgment set me off out of nowhere.

The defensive Kristin came back- and it was extremely uncomfortable.

I’ve always had a chip on my shoulder toward people who try to dominate me, thus acting out and being overly defensive and aggressive.  I have held on tightly to this defense mechanism through the years, only to realize how awful it made me feel.  I remembered traumatic experiences- bullying, sexist messages, abandonment and physical abuse.  I have kept all of this inside for years.  Had I been acting out for decades without realizing it?  Yes, I had.  It just took me thirty-some years to learn it.

After speaking with friends about traumas I suppressed (and failed to recognize as abuse- I thought it was all my fault), I am grateful for these triggers.  Old feelings of shame came to the forefront, and I was able to meditate on these uneasy feelings.  So, as always, I walked to the water for solace.

Water brings me such peace.  It is the closest way for me to connect with my higher power, so on Sunday I meditated on a rock and prayed for the courage and grace to get through the day.

I received just that- strength and hope.  I faced the day with grace, not aggression, and everything worked out just fine.  I tried not to let the negative messages affect my mood, so after leaving the pond I turned my negative energy into productivity.  Since art and writing has always brought me peace, I decided to stock up on art supplies to paint inspirational messages for my friends.  I’ve received endless love, compassion and hope from the friends I have made in Boston, so instead of living in my one-woman pity party, I decided to give the love back to those who have helped me.

As I go about my Monday, I will remember the feeling of peace and serenity I experienced by Spy Pond.  When I walk with grace, the world is a little lighter, a little freer.  If you’re also experiencing some aggravation, try a meditation to bring you back to center.  Remember, your true home is within you- everything outside of yourself is not in your control- but you can control how you react.  Once you’re able to manage outside factors with grace, not aggression, you will feel better- I promise.

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Purpose

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It’s hard to believe that ten years ago this week I packed up my things at Central Michigan University and headed to Metro Detroit to start my first post-college job.  One called-off engagement, many career changes, endless lessons and six cities later, I think I have life figured out just a little better than I did at 22 (fingers crossed!).

That said, I have been feeling very nostalgic.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my purpose and what kind of career would make me feel fulfilled.  It’s been about two months of deep thought and I think I have it down- I no longer have a desire to be a “woman in business,” to move up the ladder, to have a fancy title or to “lean in.” No, my purpose is deeper than that- I simply want to help people. Social services, writing and encouraging others.  Spreading positivity and sharing experience, strength and hope.  Whether or not this results in being a “female entrepreneur” (ugh, I detest hype and buzz words), the least I can hope for is to make a difference in a life or two.

As I begin to write the pages of the next chapter of my story, my spiritual growth and continuous self-improvement, I have wide eyes and a clear mind.  I am beyond grateful to the supportive community I have been welcomed into, the opportunities to serve others and to even brighten someone’s day through my photos and words.

As I manifest the life I hope to live, I am nothing but optimistic for the future, as I know I simply have to speak my truth, stand up for what I believe in and be kind- both to myself and others.

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