“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.” -Brené Brown
For the past three years I’ve used this blog as a journal to connect with others and document what I’m going through, what I’ve learned, and to share what inspires me. Today I re-launched mindfulinstyle.com
as a place to empower women to feel beautiful, inside and out. Through storytelling, journaling, and discovering your authentic style, my hope is to inspire others to own their story- no matter what other people may say about it.
I wasn’t always comfortable with being vulnerable, though.
For many years, I played chameleon and hid my insecurities. I wasn’t open and honest about my fears, my alcoholism, and I certainly didn’t know how to own my shortcomings. I played the victim and avoided people who hurt me- and those who I hurt, too.
Instead of letting the opinions of others get the best of me, I learned to take back my narrative and take responsibility for my past; for my past no longer defines me. It’s made me the person I am today- the person who has overcome her challenges and is finally living out the life I always wanted to live.
Mindful in Style has helped me feel content in my own skin, and moving home to Michigan has been symbolic of no longer running from myself. Whether it’s helping women find their voice, their passions, or their personal style, I’m excited to see where Mindful in Style can go.
They say the best things in life are free, and from my experience, that is absolutely correct.
For years I looked everywhere I could to fill the void in my soul- I was addicted to shopping, I sought out approval from others, I moved from city to city, and I tried to slow down my brain by drinking excessively.
I went from bar to bar, boyfriend to boyfriend, job to job, and handbag to handbag- yet whatever I had was never enough.
Sitting still wasn’t even an option- and back then, I didn’t realize how amazing stillness could be.
When I started Mindful in Style, I had just left my fashion copywriter life in New York City. I dated actors and Wall Street attorneys, bankers and startup entrepreneurs. I mingled with designers and screenwriters, fellow fashion bloggers and alcoholics. I justified my behavior by associating with people in the same circumstances as me, for better or for worse.
What I failed to do was look within to improve myself.
Battery Park, 2014. Photo by Rik Parker
I thought that if things looked okay on the outside, they must be fine on the inside.
I couldn’t have been more misguided.
Although I seemed to have everything, that hole in my soul was still as deep as ever.
What they don’t seem to teach you as you grow up is that life doesn’t have a “happiness” finish line or an invisible box to check in order to reach fulfillment.
Living a beautiful life doesn’t mean grandiosity, status, or material gains- living beautifully is about living in the now, embracing life’s simple pleasures, and making the most out of what is right in front of you.
My best days now are strolling through the city, enjoying my coffee by the river, or sitting quietly with the cat. It’s the peace I have found within that makes my life so beautiful- and although I still enjoy a great handbag, true happiness is found in the mindful moments that I used to take for granted.
Over the weekend I did one of my favorite things- I took myself to a movie. Solo.
Solitary adventures are one of my most treasured pastimes. Not only do I have the opportunity to recharge my introvert self, I gain an immense amount of inspiration from mindfully roaming through the city, finding new hidden gems, and taking in the beauty around me.
I went to go to “Where’d You Go Bernadette,” partially due to my love for Cate Blanchett. I seem to be one of the few who didn’t read the book, but I went in intuitively know I’d enjoy the film.
As I watched a fellow introvert self destruct, I realized an important message:
Creators are meant to create.
I remembered that not only is my precious solo time beneficial to maintaining my energy, it’s crucial to my creations.
With each photo I take, piece I write, and lesson I learn, my creations are keeping me sane. They’re keeping me grounded. They’re keeping me connected.
Sharing what I see and what I have learned with the world keeps me going. Being able to carry a message to another person or using my own experience as wisdom or lessons for others is a purpose I know I was meant to fill. Self destruction is inevitable when one doesn’t feel a sense of purpose, passion, or belonging- so I am glad to be reminded to live beautifully and create each and every day.