Onion Layers

PSA: It may sound like I’m talking about groceries, but don’t be fooled- I’m not.

Have you ever pushed your feelings down so deeply that they come up to the surface all at once?

Me too!

This morning I found myself thinking I was frustrated with one thing, only to discover I was peeling 10 layers of an onion.  When I went to talk to someone about it, 10 more layers unfolded.

At this point I’m a complete crying mess full of impending doom (and those weren’t actual onion tears, either).

But today, I am able to honor even the uncomfortable feelings- because I’m learning to get through them.  I’m proud of myself for not running from my feelings like I used to.

People are often used to me smiling and spreading good cheer.  It makes them feel funny when I’m not that person they’ve grown to know.  However, I’ve learned that holding in your feelings and frustrations doesn’t serve anyone.

I’ve spent my entire life acting, pretending everything is just dandy.  I’ve worn a mask of having everything “all together,” only to fall apart like a house of cards.  For over a decade, I’ve simply moved cities, changed jobs, and left relationships when times get tough.

But not today.

Today, I’m going to keep pushing through the discomfort.

Year 34

Today I turned 34.

Yes, it’s my birthday!

Some people may dread getting older, but I welcome it with open arms. As each new year of my life approaches, I feel grateful for all I have learned, everything I’ve experienced, and for another trip around the sun.

As an old soul, I always felt wise beyond my years. I finally feel I am catching up to how I feel inside. Perhaps some of you can relate to that.

It wasn’t an easy year, but it was a year full of growth. I’m thrilled to say hello to 2019, and all of the exciting new chapters I’m about to write.

Here’s to year 34!

Calm in the Chaos

Taxi cabs, loud voices, and the shoving of people in a crowd- it sometimes seems impossible to stay calm in life’s chaos. There’s two types of chaos I can experience in my daily life- the hustle of the city and the ongoing stimulation of others around me.

At times, I would simply like to sit quietly by the water or live in a place without so many people or complications- yet my heart lies in the city.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about staying calm through the chaos life can bring. From gossip to managing room of students, both my personal and professional life can wear me down at the blink of an eye.

So, how does one keep their balance?

Somehow I have managed to retreat to my own little world- a world where I am limitless, peaceful, and content. A world where I find solace in my creativity, music, and nature. A world where I am able to communicate with something much bigger than me. A world where I live with purpose.

So, whether you’re frazzled at work or in the middle of an argument, remember to take a deep breath and look within. You’ll be surprised at the solace and can find within yourself.