You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you first meet someone?
That little sign that says, “stay away,” or even, “he seems a little douchey?”
I try not to generalize or stereotype (keyword: try), so I often used to ignore that gut feeling.
I give the poor chap the benefit of the doubt, despite his obvious attempts at overselling himself. Over the past 15 years or so I’ve seen the same patterns, over and over, and as soon as I do, I shake my head and think “damn it, Kristin, you already had this one pinned.”
Within the first few exchanges, if a man suggests going on vacation with you, talks about your future, wants to introduce you to his family, or takes you somewhere elaborate, run. Fun fast.
Listen to your intuition.
It won’t oversell itself to you.
For years I wanted nothing more than to be a “normal person.” To be a child with siblings and two parents at home. To play sports with my peers. To fit in with the kids at school.
But I was none of those things.
As an adult, I still don’t fit in with the “normal people.” I don’t go to Happy Hours anymore. I can’t casually order a drink with lunch. I don’t have a glass of wine to unwind.
Instead, I go to meditations, write by the river, have coffee with friends, and go to support groups. I constantly look inward. I find new ways to learn and grow.
Each day, I’m doing something healthy to strengthen my life- because today, I finally accept that is my way of life.
It has to be.
The other day I was talking to a friend about my network in Boston. When I moved here in 2016, my intention was to develop a healthy network of friends, and even though it’s taken nearly three years, I’ve finally done so. I finally stopped pushing people away- and I learned I can’t do everything alone.
In my circle of friends, we may talk about some heavy stuff, but that’s what we have to do to survive. To stay sane. To remain peaceful on a daily basis, especially amongst chaos.
Sweeping our problems under the rug does not help- and holding in our pain keeps us sick. I’m grateful to have a supportive network today who understands me, loves me, and is there for all the quirks, the dark moments, and the laughs.
“Please don’t disturb my peace if you’re at war with yourself.”
Some people enjoy being angry for the sake of being angry.
Don’t get me wrong; I can understand this. I’ve been there too.
However, today I’m no longer willing to take on the garbage that others try to project onto me.
It’s natural to want to be right, to prove a point, or argue your side of the story. But does it really matter?
Today I’d rather be listen to my tunes, stroll down the street, and be peaceful.