Being Mindful in Relationships: Setting Healthy Boundaries

Lately I have been thinking a lot about healthy relationships.

This isn’t limited to people who you would date- I’m talking about healthy relationships in every area of life.  It includes family, friends, mentors, coworkers, and even people in passing.  We spend so much time thinking about our physical health, yet mental health can easily be triggered and negatively impacted when we’re spending time around people who aren’t treating us in a way that is in our best interest.

Of course, we can’t completely avoid certain people or behaviors- but how can we set boundaries and interact with those people in a new, healthy way?

It’s up to us to make the change.

Over the years I’ve had a lot of “friends” who took their own issues out on me.  I’ve learned to step away, stopped taking their suggestions, and realized their behavior wasn’t about me at all.

The people I choose to let into my life lift me up, empower me, and accept me for where I am at.  They inspire me to keep doing what I’m doing, and would never try and make me doubt myself.

It can be hard to be alone at times, but remember- it’s better to be alone than to be invested in an unhealthy relationship.

Remember all the light you bring, and spend time with those who appreciate you.  They’ll help you shine even brighter.

Stop Letting Distractions Stand In Your Way

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Living life in limbo is inevitable from time to time, but today I had an epiphany:

When you’re working toward a goal, don’t try and fill your life with other things to provide comfort.

Keep moving.  Focus on your mark.  You’ll get there.

I chatted with a friend about this earlier today- we are both writers working on our own brands, yet we have both been guilty of letting distractions alter our mindset.  Why on earth would we let other people, places, or things stand in our way?  While she’s out in Los Angeles working toward her dreams, and I’m here in Boston working on mine. It was wonderful and perfect to connect with her about where I’m at right now, because she’s in the same spot, too!

Oh, I just love how life works out.  Just as we started to feel a bit irritable and discontent about our “distractions,” we both passed the tests and recognized that we need to get back to work.

People and situations will come into your life when they’re supposed to, but don’t try and manipulate the situation.  Whether you’re filling your time with a new TV series or going out on dates for no good reason, stop.  I’m serious.  Everything falls into place as it should, including those uncomfortable moments.  Don’t dig yourself into a deeper hole and get off track.

Each moment teaches you a lesson- so remember your goal, stay on your path, and you’ll be just fine. ❤

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Raise Your Standards


I’ve never been one to settle- settling down, settling for less, settling for something I knew wasn’t right for me.

However, I’ve definitely lowered my standards- even if it was only temporary.

In the past, I have accepted the way I have been treated by others even though I knew I deserved better.  I have communicated what I wanted or needed at the moment, yet felt guilty for expressing my true feelings.  I used to take all of the blame when things didn’t work out.

I spent Sunday with a dear friend, who told me about the weekend she had with a guy she has been seeing.  She already had a rough week and his behavior made her feel uncomfortable.  He was impatient with her, didn’t listen to her needs and insisted on certain things that she didn’t like.  She stated this to him, yet he turned it around on her and threatened to leave.

She thought it was all her fault.

Feeling emotionally depleated, she asked me what she did wrong.  We talked about their conversations, particularly one they had at dinner, and I was left with one conclusion: he has issues that have nothing to do with you.

Why do we take all of the blame?  Why do we immediately insist that we are the ones at fault?  I’ve learned this recently in my own relationships- I realized that I can’t fix people, despite being healthy, grounded and supportive.

People have to fix themselves on their own.

I’ve definitely continued to date the same type of person- charismatic, intelligent, funny; yet sneaky.  For whatever reason, I continue to do the same thing over and over expecting a different result.  If it didn’t work then, why would it work now?

My life is very full, and I have an amazing support system.  Getting mixed up with other people who don’t have my best interest at heart is not something I need in my life now, or ever.  My suggestion for my friend?  “Focus on yourself.  Stop with these guys.  Your work and home life will become much more clear once you focus on yourself, not try to pick up someone else’s pieces.”

Now, I just need to follow my own advice.  It’s a new moon, after all. 🌙