You Don’t Have to Navigate the New Decade Alone

With a blank page, cup of coffee, and an open heart, I’m thrilled to welcome 2020.

It’s a new year, new decade, and if you want, it can be a whole new you.

A more confident you. A more peaceful you. A you who you love, no matter what.

As I reflect on this past decade, I’ve thought a lot about what I could have done differently. I reflected on how my mistakes lead me on unexpected paths, how my struggles made me stronger, and how I had to learn the hard way “wherever you go, there you are.”

When 2010 began, I wish I would have had someone to talk to. Not a therapist, who would listen and give me clinical advice. I did that. Not a friend, who would give me their biased opinion. I already had a handful of feedback. Not my parents, who would give me sensible advice for my well-being. I wasn’t always willing to listen.

As I began a new decade at 25 years old, I wasn’t sure where I was going in life, what I wanted, or who I was as a woman. Through trial and error, it took me the next ten years to truly know what I wanted- thanks to guidance, a spiritual practice, and my writing.

Over the past three years I’ve written about my day-to-day experiences, built a solid foundation within my spirituality, and have helped to guide other women through their journey of life. As 2020 begins, I’m committed to sharing their stories of strength, expanding my knowledge and experience within holistic health, and continuing to fearlessly write.

I’ve dabbled in outlining programs to empower women, but then wondered, “what makes me qualified to do this?” My own blockage of self confidence prevented me from putting myself out there. I questioned how valuable my insight was. I wondered if anyone would listen to what I had to say.

Those were simply self-limiting beliefs- beliefs we all tell ourselves at one point or another.

Since I overcame this fear, I know I can help others, too. Whether you’re debating whether or not to move across the country, quit your job, start a blog, or get into a new relationship, trust me- I have been there.

Through making my own mistakes, overcoming challenges, and healing my heart, I can’t think of anything I would rather do than continue to inspire others through my own insight and experiences.

I’m offering online sessions to outline your vision for the New Year, your life, and your goals- not just what you thought you wanted- but we will uncover what you really desire.

Think of me as a part of your team; someone you can talk to, email, or just run your day by. I will encourage you to step out of your comfort zone, help you learn to sit still, and become your own best friend and biggest supporter.

We’ll write, meditate, talk, and dream. Nothing is out of reach when you set your mind to it- and my own story is proof of that. You’ll not only learn to inspire yourself, but you’ll start to naturally inspire others. We are living in a world that desperately needs our light, and I will help yours shine.

Are you ready to do this, 2020? I know I am!

Send me a note and learn more: kristinfehrman@gmail.com

Toxic Positivity: Embracing the Lows

As I sipped my morning coffee, I scrolled through my Instagram feed and stories.

Procrastinating, I thought about starting a new routine, what I had to do today, and all of the things I’ve put on the back burner.

To be honest, I haven’t felt like doing any of it.

Highs and lows are a normal part of everyday life- from bustling with energy to feeling like staying in bed until noon.  Perhaps it’s the weather or maybe the moon cycle, but I’ve been on the “low” end of the spectrum this past week.  Apparently, I’m not the only one.

Just when I needed it, a friend of mine shared her feelings for the day, frustrated with people who encourage her to “think positive!” and to “stop complaining.”  No matter what the day, she fearlessly expresses her emotions, pretty or not- and that authenticity is something the world needs to see.

Sharing where we are mentally is not complaining.  It’s exercising our humanness.

When we deny our feelings and our unpleasant emotions, we are simply burying them, only to resurface later.  Our emotions, our stories, and our ups and downs aren’t meant to be hidden- they’re meant to be dealt with.

“Good vibes only!” and “be happy!” are cute and all, but what are we supposed to do with the bad vibes?  The depression?  The anger?  The fear?  Are we supposed to cover it up with pastel prints and add some sparkle?  Do we continue to mask the discomfort to please someone else?

Of course not.

Toxic positivity usually isn’t about the person who is going through the emotion- but it does has everything to do with the people who encourage them to “smile!” or to “be grateful!”  Why?  It makes them more comfortable.

We can be grateful and still be sad.

We can have a bad day and be excited for tomorrow.

How we feel at the moment doesn’t determine how we will feel the next.

Perhaps there are people who are naturally sunshine and rainbows, but my guess is most of us aren’t.  I embrace my moods.  I can see light through the dark.  I don’t have to package up my pain into a smile and a facade; because there is something powerful we can do with discomfort.

Although I do believe it’s a waste of time to tell someone to “just be positive,” I don’t think being in a slump is a negative thing.  Our moods help us to determine what is going right and what is going wrong in our lives.  When things change, they make room for something different.  If we no longer are going in a certain direction, we are given a choice to alter our path.

If we can use our problems and turn them into potential, whether it’s a learning opportunity or a new idea, the world may start embracing the negative- because that is when true change happens.

 

Ollie Orlando

Meet Oliver!

I brought Ollie home after his long (but loving) seven month stay at the Cherryland Humane Society.

Formerly Orlando, Ollie Orlando is now enjoying his forever home with me.

On his first day, he immediately ran behind my living room couch. After staying there for an hour, I brought him upstairs to my office (temporarily the “safe room”) to ease into townhouse life. He certainly has the life here, but it’s a lot for him to handle all at once.

I’m so grateful to have found Ollie; I needed him as much as he needed me. As much as I love living alone, I have wanted a feline companion of my own for as long as I can remember.

He is a shy but affectionate cat who loves gazing out the window at the trees, getting scratches on his head, and finding hiding spaces to keep him safe.

Don’t worry, little one, I will take good care of you. ❤️