Super Full Moon in Virgo- Healing Our Inner Child

It’s time to spring forward!

Daylight savings falls on the Super Full Moon in Virgo this year, and I got to enjoy the last night of “winter sunsets” on Lake Michigan in Leland last night. 😍 The sun set like fire along the shoreline, bringing me back to the days of growing up along this very water.

2020 has been a time of healing and self care, and it’s finally time to start emerging from our winter bubble and to shine a light on things that have felt foggy or unclear during the cooler season. Representing the virgin, this Virgo Full Moon will help you heal old childhood wounds and recharge your batteries for this next phase. The feminine energy of this moon will act as a warm hug while letting go of past pains, amplifying your confidence and divine feminine- so embrace it!

Lately I’ve had people re-enter my life, places remind me of my teenage years, and old friends take me back to the times when I was wide-eyed and innocent. Looking back on my younger days, I have a newfound compassion for myself, where my path has taken me, and the trial and error I’ve lived out through my decades of adventures. After learning about my 4/6 Profile in Human Design, it’s become clear I was meant to go on a journey of self-discovery, and this seems like an appropriate ending to that stage.

According to Forever Conscious, the collective is about to enter a new phase, as well:

March’s Full Moon is also preparing us for the start of the astrological year which begins on the Equinox later this month.

It is time for us to enter a new cycle, but before we can step onto this new path that is opening for us, we have to bring acceptance to where we stand today. 

We have to radically accept our past, our pains, our grief, our mistakes, our triumphs, our family, our story, so we can move forward.

As we let go of the pain we’ve held onto, but perhaps buried under the surface, we can make space for what’s to come. Being conscious of what held us back from living authentically, loving others, or speaking our truth is an important part of our journey, so revisiting the life we once lived can be extremely healing during this full moon. Whether it’s visiting the nearby beach, meditating outside, or calling up an old friend, be sure to honor your inner child.

If you’re looking to harness the Super Full Moon energy, leave your crystals by the window to energize in the moonlight, sage your home, and spend time outside. The Full Moon is a time of amplified energy, so take some notes with your intentions, because this powerful moon is ideal for manifestation!

Toxic Positivity: Embracing the Lows

As I sipped my morning coffee, I scrolled through my Instagram feed and stories.

Procrastinating, I thought about starting a new routine, what I had to do today, and all of the things I’ve put on the back burner.

To be honest, I haven’t felt like doing any of it.

Highs and lows are a normal part of everyday life- from bustling with energy to feeling like staying in bed until noon.  Perhaps it’s the weather or maybe the moon cycle, but I’ve been on the “low” end of the spectrum this past week.  Apparently, I’m not the only one.

Just when I needed it, a friend of mine shared her feelings for the day, frustrated with people who encourage her to “think positive!” and to “stop complaining.”  No matter what the day, she fearlessly expresses her emotions, pretty or not- and that authenticity is something the world needs to see.

Sharing where we are mentally is not complaining.  It’s exercising our humanness.

When we deny our feelings and our unpleasant emotions, we are simply burying them, only to resurface later.  Our emotions, our stories, and our ups and downs aren’t meant to be hidden- they’re meant to be dealt with.

“Good vibes only!” and “be happy!” are cute and all, but what are we supposed to do with the bad vibes?  The depression?  The anger?  The fear?  Are we supposed to cover it up with pastel prints and add some sparkle?  Do we continue to mask the discomfort to please someone else?

Of course not.

Toxic positivity usually isn’t about the person who is going through the emotion- but it does has everything to do with the people who encourage them to “smile!” or to “be grateful!”  Why?  It makes them more comfortable.

We can be grateful and still be sad.

We can have a bad day and be excited for tomorrow.

How we feel at the moment doesn’t determine how we will feel the next.

Perhaps there are people who are naturally sunshine and rainbows, but my guess is most of us aren’t.  I embrace my moods.  I can see light through the dark.  I don’t have to package up my pain into a smile and a facade; because there is something powerful we can do with discomfort.

Although I do believe it’s a waste of time to tell someone to “just be positive,” I don’t think being in a slump is a negative thing.  Our moods help us to determine what is going right and what is going wrong in our lives.  When things change, they make room for something different.  If we no longer are going in a certain direction, we are given a choice to alter our path.

If we can use our problems and turn them into potential, whether it’s a learning opportunity or a new idea, the world may start embracing the negative- because that is when true change happens.

 

I Love Me More Than I Like Them

Self-love has been a huge theme in my life these past couple of years.

Ever since I started this blog, I’ve written about my inward journey of self.  From the first few posts, I’ve expressed self awareness- pretty or not- exploring topics such as being a loner to my fear of commitment.

I’ve put my thoughts and feelings out there for the world to see- if there is ever any question about how I think or what I stand for, there’s usually “a blog post for that.”

I’ve experienced ups and downs in all types of relationships, from family to coworkers, and at times I have questioned what I already knew about myself.  I’ve listened to the feedback or opinions of others and doubted myself.  I’ve taken comments to heart and taken the blame for someone else’s bad day.

I’ve forgotten to look at all the positive things I have worked so hard for and let someone else tear me down; someone else who probably hasn’t even done the work for themselves.

Today, I love myself more than I liked any of them.

Why is it so easy to take everything to heart?  Why can’t we just let someone else’s snide comments roll off our back?  Why would we take the feedback of someone we barely like and beat on someone we love?

This is a reminder to continue to be true to you, and to listen only to love.  This is a reminder to stop letting other people bruise your spirit, and to continue to heal any pain you’ve experienced in the past.

This is a love letter to you- never let anyone take your power (and this serves as a reminder for me, too). Keep shining.

Strong and Secure- Setting Intentions

Each moon cycle I set an intention. On occasion I hope for something tangible, such as securing a new job or accomplishment, and other times I aim to let something go.

As the moon phases pass, I try to release what no longer serves, focus on improving myself, and live by the intentions I set.

This past New Moon, my intention was strength.

Strength means a lot of things to me. It can mean being assertive and confident, resilient through life’s challenges, or living with grace and grit. Strength has helped me pick up and move across the country, walk into interviews with ease, and hold my head high when life tried to pull me down.

I used to try and be a chameleon in life, seeking to fit in so I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. Not anymore. I have learned how standing in my truth has helped me get into alignment with the right people, opportunities, but most importantly, my own self.

It’s okay to stand out in the crowd… and it’s a beautiful thing to be different. Instead of lowering my head or watering myself down, my intention is to be strong and secure- no matter what life brings my way.

Read about Friday’s Full Moon here.

Family of Intent

It’s been almost two years in Boston- and what an adventure it has been.

When I first moved here, I only knew one person- a cute guy who I only talked to for my first two weeks. Knowing it wasn’t going anywhere, I moved on and proceeded to focus on myself- I found a place to live, a job, and new friends.

That first friend was Brenda, who welcomed me into her home, “The Nest,” complete with a cuddly cat and a basket full of slippers. She was precious; a friend who was such an angel I didn’t feel I deserved her. I was far from perfect-and I still am- but after two years, I recognize that she has always seen the light in me when I couldn’t see it for myself. Friendships like that are invaluable.

The holidays are coming up, and like the past few years, I’m spending it away from my family in Michigan. This doesn’t bother me. As much as I miss them, I have learned a valuable lesson from Brenda:

Your family can extend to your family of intent.

We develop soul connections over the years, meeting people of all walks of life who fill our hearts and help us become better people. Sometimes our own families may not understand or relate to us as those on the outside do; which is why it’s so important to realize your family of intent- the family you choose for yourself- is just as crucial as your own blood relatives.

No matter what your plans are for the holidays this year, remember how important authenticity and being true to yourself is. Cherish the people who love and understand you. Have gratitude for those who will lend a listening ear no matter what. Most importantly, try not to shy away from people who love you for all of your flaws. I may not always feel I deserve wonderful people in my life like my own mother, friends like Brenda, or even the love from a sweet feline, but I do.

I’m worthy of pure love- and so are you.

Sometimes, it takes your family of intent to help you recognize you’re beautiful for your gifts, your flaws, and the path you have walked.

The Elder: Standing Strong

Happy October! It’s a new month, a fresh week, and time to let go of the old. As the leaves begin to fall, we also remove the parts of our lives that no longer serve.

Last night I was introduced to Denise Linn’s Native Spirit Oracle deck, where we went around a circle to reflect on the messages of each card we chose. As I picked my card, “Elder,” I smiled and thought about the old soul I have always identified with. Always feeling a bit like the outsider yet content on my own, this card strung a chord with me.

“Confidence. Entering your power. Standing strong. You are a leader. Stepping into the light. Let your truth be heard and felt by others. Make a stand in life. You carried deep inner wisdom. You are a teacher and a leader in the deepest sense of the words. You are a beacon for others.”

The Elder card was confirmation I am on the right path by speaking my truth, sharing the stories that aren’t always very comfortable, and stepping forward even when I question myself. Having confidence in my creations is key for me to free myself from holding myself back from happiness, success, and serenity. Much like the crab who tries to escape, I must learn not to let others hold me back from the path I know I’m destined for.

Lately I’ve been around a lot of negativity, gossip, and pessimism- but the only way I’m getting through it is to rise above, share my insight, and continue to do what I know is right. I’ve learned to let things “roll off my back” and to stay in my own lane; although these things aren’t taught growing up (“be a part of the crowd!”), I’m content with being an individual as an adult.

The Elder may look on to the rest of the group, standing tall, alone in their journey, but I do know one thing: if you can’t stand strong and in your own truth, there isn’t any room to grow.

🦌

Free to Be: Going On Your Own Path

There comes a day when you stop letting the outside world trick you into thinking there is only one way to life, security, happiness, and success.

~

A lovely friend of mine, a neurologist in Cambridge, described the city perfectly to me once:

“Cambridge: where everyone thinks they’re a ‘renegade.'”

I had only been in Boston for a few months, so I hadn’t yet gotten an impression of the people or the culture.  However, I liked this idea, and I certainly loved Cambridge.

Although I used to wish I had taken a traditional path (or at least a “laid out” one) I realize now through listening to others that it wouldn’t have been right for me.  I have spent the past 11 years trying to “fit” the mold; city to city, job to job, relationship to relationship.  It was a struggle trying to fit this square peg in a round hole.

I had simply assumed by speaking with her, the grounded and successful woman she is, that she must have had an easier path than mine. That things came naturally to her.  That she followed her heart when making her career choice.  However, upon knowing her better, I learned that it wasn’t her choice to become a doctor; it was her father’s.

I met this woman April of 2017, and she played an instrumental role helping me learn I am enough.  She said to me, over and over, that I am fine just as I am.

I didn’t realize what she meant until now.


As my life came together, fell apart, and came back together time and time again back in the summer of 2017, my friend (who I just visited in NYC) also reminded me of how strong I am.  Although I felt hopeless at times, she saw the light in me.  She recognized my strengths.  She helped me see my own light; and in turn, I have been able to do the same for her.

It’s interesting how we can get down on ourselves so easily, yet we are much stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

Now, let’s go back to the idea of a “renegade.”

This made me laugh.

However, much of our society blindly follows the unwritten rules the “patriarchy” laid out years ago, without question.

I can’t imagine living an existence where I don’t question these rules.

As I began to step into my authentic self, I stood up to “the man.” I have ignored their sexist comments. I have ignored people telling me I can’t do things. I have been independent.

Perhaps this does make me a “renegade.”


Over the years I thought about what society wanted me to do; or at least, what those around me expected.  I thought that if I got an advanced degree, a certain job, or had impressive credentials, I would please others.

But why did I care about pleasing the patriarchy?

I wasn’t pleasing myself.

As I have let the ideas of what other people “expect” from me, I realize that I wasn’t doing anyone any good.  I wasn’t happy in relationships or jobs where I couldn’t be myself.  I wasn’t succeeding in roles that didn’t align with my talents.  I felt anxiety in environments I forced myself to be in.

As my spiritual practice and confidence grows, the more I realize that manmade rules are simply tricks to give others power.

We have all the power we need within ourselves.

The more fearlessly honest I am, the more gifts have appeared in my life.  I’ve been published in places I never dreamed to see my work, I’ve received heartfelt letters from readers who didn’t know who else to turn to, and I’ve gotten the opportunity (and blessing) to find inner peace, joy, and empowerment through my authenticity.

I used to water down my personality to “fit in.”  That didn’t serve anyone.  Today, I refuse to play a role in society; I will live my truth.

I came to this earth for a reason; and that reason wasn’t to follow the patriarchy, let someone scare me into doing things their way, or let others take my power.

My reason was to help others realize they, too, can fearlessly spread their wings and fly.

So, that is what I will continue to do. ✨

On the Cusp- Who I Was, Who I Am

June 5th, 2014 (four years ago today!)- the day of my blonde chop.

This morning I looked at my horoscope- the Sagittarius one– as I’ve always felt much more like an archer than the goat.  Although I’m born on the cusp of Sagittarius and Capricorn, sometimes I wonder, “how could anyone consider me grounded!?”

One may say my head is often in the clouds and I have a relentless need for freedom, change, and adventure, but most wouldn’t consider me calm or cautious, like a Capricorn.  That said, I turned to my “Sag ‘scope” of the day:

“A sense of dissatisfaction that has been dogging you for quite some time now will at last begin to fade. You will instinctively know that you have found your niche in life and can follow your calling to achieve your dreams. You will be able to understand what changes must be implemented to make your health as well as your work much better.”

Spot-on.

This brings me to a common theme (or struggle): identity.

Although my haircut is the same as it was four years ago, I’ve spent a lot of these four years questioning who I am.

Have I been who I wanted to be? Or have I been listening too closely to what others have said?

I’ve lived a few different places, dated different people, worked different jobs; but none of things things have made up who I am.  Wherever you go, there you are– no matter what is stripped from you, whatever title you have, or whoever is by your side.  You always have YOU.

So, what do they have to say about Sagittarius, anyway?

Strengths: Generous, idealistic, great sense of humor

Weaknesses: Promises more than can deliver, very impatient, will say anything no matter how undiplomatic

Sagittarius likes: Freedom, travel, philosophy, being outdoors

Sagittarius dislikes: Clingy people, being constrained, off-the-wall theories, details

“Curious and energetic, Sagittarius is one of the biggest travelers among all zodiac signs. Their open mind and philosophical view motivates them to wander around the world in search of the meaning of life.”

Fitting.

“Freedom is their greatest treasure, because only then they can freely travel and explore different cultures and philosophies. Because of their honesty, Sagittarius-born are often impatient and tactless when they need to say or do something, so it’s important to learn to express themselves in a tolerant and socially acceptable way.”

Although I can 100% identify with the Sagittarius theme, it makes me wonder, “am I stuck in the clouds?  Do I need to be brought back down to earth?

So, I looked back at the blog posts from the past few days, and came to this conclusion:

My theme for June: grounding. 🙏🏻

What does that mean?  Well, it means quite a bit.  For me, the first things that come to mind would be to get out in nature, turn off the phone, meditate, read, relax, and most of all: sit still!  I often think my way into problems, or over-think the world around me. This has not only caused me anxiety, but has held me back from being my true self.

Once you re-center and become one with yourself, feeling comfortable in your own skin, you are limitless- no matter what your sign.

Although I’ll never back down from my adventure-seeking, curious nature, maybe I can stand to embody a little bit of my sea goat, after all. ✨

June 5, 2018- a little older, a little wiser, and maybe (just maybe), a little more grounded.