This December I turn 35.
Now, more than ever, it’s fascinating to witness the responses of people I don’t know when they ask about my life situation.
“Do you have kids?”
“Are you married?”
“Have you ever been married?”
“Do you want kids?”
At 34, I think my mind is pretty well made up.
Am I going to suddenly decide I want to birth and care for a child? It’s highly unlikely. I’m still focusing on caring for myself. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even able to have children– you’d think I would have had a slip by now.
Sure, I could accidentally get pregnant, or I could meet a partner who influences me to have a change of heart. Hell, I could simply just change my mind.
I doubt it though.
Being a parent is not easy– and I commend the people who parent with all their heart and soul. It’s a huge job- but it isn’t for everyone.
Here’s to the women who followed their hearts and didn’t sway their decisions because they were told what they “should” do. Here’s to the women who have decided that they didn’t want to take responsibility for another human. Here’s to the women who realized it wasn’t in the child’s best interest for them to take responsibility.
Here’s to the women who are childless- and just because they don’t have a child doesn’t make them any less of a woman.
No matter what you choose, here’s to you- because our own decisions are just that: our own. ❤️
For years I wanted nothing more than to be a “normal person.” To be a child with siblings and two parents at home. To play sports with my peers. To fit in with the kids at school.
But I was none of those things.
As an adult, I still don’t fit in with the “normal people.” I don’t go to Happy Hours anymore. I can’t casually order a drink with lunch. I don’t have a glass of wine to unwind.
Instead, I go to meditations, write by the river, have coffee with friends, and go to support groups. I constantly look inward. I find new ways to learn and grow.
Each day, I’m doing something healthy to strengthen my life- because today, I finally accept that is my way of life.
It has to be.
The other day I was talking to a friend about my network in Boston. When I moved here in 2016, my intention was to develop a healthy network of friends, and even though it’s taken nearly three years, I’ve finally done so. I finally stopped pushing people away- and I learned I can’t do everything alone.
In my circle of friends, we may talk about some heavy stuff, but that’s what we have to do to survive. To stay sane. To remain peaceful on a daily basis, especially amongst chaos.
Sweeping our problems under the rug does not help- and holding in our pain keeps us sick. I’m grateful to have a supportive network today who understands me, loves me, and is there for all the quirks, the dark moments, and the laughs.
“Please don’t disturb my peace if you’re at war with yourself.”
Some people enjoy being angry for the sake of being angry.
Don’t get me wrong; I can understand this. I’ve been there too.
However, today I’m no longer willing to take on the garbage that others try to project onto me.
It’s natural to want to be right, to prove a point, or argue your side of the story. But does it really matter?
Today I’d rather be listen to my tunes, stroll down the street, and be peaceful.