Categories
conscious living

Soul Connection or Nah? Recognizing the Difference Between Bonds

It’s happened to the best of us. We meet someone and are instantly drawn to them- but why?

Sometimes you have a deep and undeniable spiritual connection with another person, while other times your intuition can play tricks on you, making you think there’s a higher connection when it’s really a lesson in disguise.

If you feel a strong bond with someone who is trying to change you, guilt you, or make you feel you’re not enough, that’s not a soul connection. From my own experience, it was always a narcissist looking to feed from my spirit.

Has anyone else experienced this? Have you met someone you were instantly drawn to, only to realize later the outcome wasn’t what you expected? Did you keep trying to find ways for them to accept you? Did you constantly feel you weren’t worthy?

Oh yeah, me too.

As I reflect on the past four or five years, it’s clear to me how I’ve met people I’ll forever share a bond with, people I’ll keep from a distance, and people I will never talk to again, but will always value the lesson they taught me.

Whether it’s a business, family, or a personal connection, it’s important to recognize the role people play in our lives- and that it isn’t our job to change them or the nature of the relationship.

It is what it is.

Categories
self discovery

The Beauty of True Friendship

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It’s clear that Traverse City has beauty, charm, and so much to offer.

Since moving home last Tuesday, I have loved strolling the streets, revisiting my favorite spots, and snapping photos of the new art.

But the best part about being home are the relationships I have been able to have once again.

I had no idea how much my friends cared over the years- and how worried they were about me as I bounced from city to city.  They knew I hid my loneliness.  They were concerned about my alcoholism.  They were sad to learn I spent holidays by myself.

I didn’t even realize I was missed- but now I do.

I’ve had some of the most priceless experiences with old friends this past week, meaningful conversations, and re-connection with people I have known since I was 12 years old.  I have filled my calendar with coffee and lunch dates, received hilarious Marco Polo videos from one of my best friends navigating motherhood, and have bumped into former coworkers.  Wanting to help me in any way they can, I have felt more love this past week than I have in years.

These are the people who knew me before I thought I had to put on a mask.

My mask of strength was a tool to keep me safe from the world- and to keep me from getting hurt.

Today, I finally know who I am- and that I don’t have to hide from good friends.  I don’t have to hide who I am here in Traverse City- I can simply be me.

Taking a deep breath of relief, I am beyond grateful I could fly home and show my face- and what is in my heart.

Categories
self discovery

Take Time To Yourself While You Can

There’s no “finish line” of life.

Sure, life will come to an end at some point, but we never know where our journey will lead.

We don’t run the show as hard as we may try.  We can’t finagle our own little plans and designs to go our way, because the Universe already knows where we belong- and when pieces will fall into place.

While sitting at my favorite cafe, Brew, I chatted with one of my dearest friends who I met in 7th grade.  Both bullied, we bonded over the years due to our struggles and strength.  Today, she’s married with two kids, a house, and a lot of responsibility.

“Take time to yourself while you can,” she told me.

“I tell my sister the same thing.”  Her sister, also a friend of mine, is beautiful, strong, and sophisticated- and single.

Lately I have been feeling lonely (obviously- I left Boston to return to my hometown), thinking I want a partner.  I have been thinking about all the guys I have met, wondering why they didn’t choose me- and why people I know have partnered up and I haven’t.

Then, I realized:

I’m not quite ready.

Loving myself, spending time with friends, and embracing my family is where I am at now.  I’m becoming the most authentic version of myself that I can be, and I am no longer willing to let someone try and change me.

When he comes along, he will come along- and he will be strong. He will love me for me. He will encourage me to be thrive.  He will be ready for me, too.

But for now, I’m taking time to myself while I can.

Categories
self discovery

Listen to the Birds

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“Pay the thunder no mind – listen to the birds.”

Our minds race each and every day.  That problem I had last week?  I’ve already forgotten about it.  The worries I have today?  They’re going to be resolved effortlessly.

Our higher power speaks through other people, but sometimes our egos don’t stop and listen.  Meditation is a huge part of my daily life, but I often forget to ask for help.  Sitting by myself has its purpose, but connection with people is equally important.

Since being home, I have had an amazing time reconnecting with old friends and meeting new ones.  I’m so grateful to have realized I am loved, cared about, and can give my love back to them in return.

This is a whole new chapter, and I choose to listen to the birds, not the thunder in my mind.

Categories
self discovery

A Few Good Friends

I’ve always been the type of person who kept her circle small.

Growing up, I had one best friend- we were both artists who shied away from the more rambunctious children.  We didn’t participate in the gossip, nor did we play rough.  We spent time drawing, chatting on the swing set, and using our imagination to create a magical world around us.

As I got older, my habits stayed the same.  I wasn’t invited to parties and I didn’t sit with the popular group at lunch- nor did I try to.

I’ve always done my own thing- but I have been fortunate to always have a few good friends.

Friends who always “get” me.  Friends who have my best interest at heart.  Friends who encourage me to be my best self- and who see the beauty within that I may not recognize on my own.

As an adult, I realize that I won’t be liked by everyone.  I wouldn’t want to be!  Not everyone is on the same path- and that is okay.  We are all on our own journey.

Today, I don’t have to take other people’s criticism personal, and I don’t have to engage or acknowledge their drama- because I know that the people who do matter to me are all I need.

Categories
self discovery

You Can Keep Your Opinion

I’m continuously baffled by the things that come out of other people’s mouths.

You can keep your opinion, but I don’t need it.

I’m talking about the small, petty things- things that are meant to critique others, bring them down, or to question themselves.  I won’t get too deep, but I’ll give a few examples that I heard in the past week:

“You should grow your hair out.”

“You should go without makeup.”

“You should wear more color.”

You know what I have to say?

“You need to stop shoulding on me.”

I struggle to recall times I’ve given such annoying suggestions to people.  I’ve never urged someone to change their style or to do something different with their appearance.  It’s just petty and, quite frankly, mean.

If people try and change the person you love (YOU!) then I would begin to question the people you surround yourself with.  My real friends like me for me- and those people love me for my black wardrobe, blonde bob, and pink lipstick.

Categories
mindful at work self discovery

The Law of Attraction: Love Yourself More

Just when you thought you loved yourself, go ahead- love yourself a little more.

We are all conscious creators on this planet, but many of us fail to realize the power of our thoughts and feelings.  Our society encourages us to take action, to see progress, and to quantify our successes, but no results can take place if you don’t truly care for yourself on the inside.

Be your own biggest fan.

The world quickly changes when you realize your greatest success is fearlessly loving yourself.

Life will effortlessly fall into place when you care for, love, and respect the you that you were born to be.  Everyone will have an opinion- but what is your own opinion about yourself?

Look within and listen to your heart.

Who do you want to be?

Once you know and embody the true you, you’ll see a change- a change within, a change around you, and a change in how you are treated.  Once you treat yourself with the loving kindness you deserve, remarkable things will shine through.

Here is a great manifestation video from Aaron Doughty- 2019 is a powerful year for attracting what you desire.  Get into your passion frequency, but first, it all starts with self-love!

Categories
self discovery

Family of Intent

It’s been almost two years in Boston- and what an adventure it has been.

When I first moved here, I only knew one person- a cute guy who I only talked to for my first two weeks. Knowing it wasn’t going anywhere, I moved on and proceeded to focus on myself- I found a place to live, a job, and new friends.

That first friend was Brenda, who welcomed me into her home, “The Nest,” complete with a cuddly cat and a basket full of slippers. She was precious; a friend who was such an angel I didn’t feel I deserved her. I was far from perfect-and I still am- but after two years, I recognize that she has always seen the light in me when I couldn’t see it for myself. Friendships like that are invaluable.

The holidays are coming up, and like the past few years, I’m spending it away from my family in Michigan. This doesn’t bother me. As much as I miss them, I have learned a valuable lesson from Brenda:

Your family can extend to your family of intent.

We develop soul connections over the years, meeting people of all walks of life who fill our hearts and help us become better people. Sometimes our own families may not understand or relate to us as those on the outside do; which is why it’s so important to realize your family of intent- the family you choose for yourself- is just as crucial as your own blood relatives.

No matter what your plans are for the holidays this year, remember how important authenticity and being true to yourself is. Cherish the people who love and understand you. Have gratitude for those who will lend a listening ear no matter what. Most importantly, try not to shy away from people who love you for all of your flaws. I may not always feel I deserve wonderful people in my life like my own mother, friends like Brenda, or even the love from a sweet feline, but I do.

I’m worthy of pure love- and so are you.

Sometimes, it takes your family of intent to help you recognize you’re beautiful for your gifts, your flaws, and the path you have walked.