Lately I have been thinking a lot about healthy relationships.
This isn’t limited to people who you would date- I’m talking about healthy relationships in every area of life. It includes family, friends, mentors, coworkers, and even people in passing. We spend so much time thinking about our physical health, yet mental health can easily be triggered and negatively impacted when we’re spending time around people who aren’t treating us in a way that is in our best interest.
Of course, we can’t completely avoid certain people or behaviors- but how can we set boundaries and interact with those people in a new, healthy way?
It’s up to us to make the change.
Over the years I’ve had a lot of “friends” who took their own issues out on me. I’ve learned to step away, stopped taking their suggestions, and realized their behavior wasn’t about me at all.
The people I choose to let into my life lift me up, empower me, and accept me for where I am at. They inspire me to keep doing what I’m doing, and would never try and make me doubt myself.
It can be hard to be alone at times, but remember- it’s better to be alone than to be invested in an unhealthy relationship.
Remember all the light you bring, and spend time with those who appreciate you. They’ll help you shine even brighter.
I’ve always been the type of person who kept her circle small.
Growing up, I had one best friend- we were both artists who shied away from the more rambunctious children. We didn’t participate in the gossip, nor did we play rough. We spent time drawing, chatting on the swing set, and using our imagination to create a magical world around us.
As I got older, my habits stayed the same. I wasn’t invited to parties and I didn’t sit with the popular group at lunch- nor did I try to.
I’ve always done my own thing- but I have been fortunate to always have a few good friends.
Friends who always “get” me. Friends who have my best interest at heart. Friends who encourage me to be my best self- and who see the beauty within that I may not recognize on my own.
As an adult, I realize that I won’t be liked by everyone. I wouldn’t want to be! Not everyone is on the same path- and that is okay. We are all on our own journey.
Today, I don’t have to take other people’s criticism personal, and I don’t have to engage or acknowledge their drama- because I know that the people who do matter to me are all I need.
I’m continuously baffled by the things that come out of other people’s mouths.
You can keep your opinion, but I don’t need it.
I’m talking about the small, petty things- things that are meant to critique others, bring them down, or to question themselves. I won’t get too deep, but I’ll give a few examples that I heard in the past week:
“You should grow your hair out.”
“You should go without makeup.”
“You should wear more color.”
You know what I have to say?
“You need to stop shoulding on me.”
I struggle to recall times I’ve given such annoying suggestions to people. I’ve never urged someone to change their style or to do something different with their appearance. It’s just petty and, quite frankly, mean.
If people try and change the person you love (YOU!) then I would begin to question the people you surround yourself with. My real friends like me for me- and those people love me for my black wardrobe, blonde bob, and pink lipstick.