A Walk Down Memory Lane- Remembering “K on the Bay”

Just in time for Throwback Thursday, a memory appeared on my Facebook feed taking me back to the last time I lived in Traverse City.

Back in 2013, my fashion blog “K on the Bay” was in full swing.

At the time I was working with a variety of designers and online boutiques, so I thought, “why not represent local businesses?”  Traverse City was rapidly growing, but most people didn’t consider it a fashion destination.  With endless shops and brands from all over the country, I wanted to show that you didn’t need to leave the town to find great style.

I contacted every publication in town.  Shot down by most, I kept going- and received interest from Grand Traverse Woman Magazine.  Thrilled, I walked from boutique to boutique, telling them about my blog and offering to style the pieces that wanted to promote for the fall fashion season.

The article came out in the November / December issue, with the title “Warm Style on the Bay.”

This was several months before I decided to move to New York City to pursue a career in fashion.  That said, this little article made me more proud than most things I ever did on the east coast.

What I didn’t realize when I moved is that my impact and connections with other people was so much greater here in Northern Michigan.  From NYC to Boston, I was still a number.  My interest in the blog dwindled, and I later ended up deleting it.

Nevertheless, my love for style never ended- so I created Mindful in Style to bridge mindfulness and fashion.  This time, it wasn’t necessarily about the clothes or the brands; it was created to celebrate individuality and being mindful about whatever style you choose, whether it’s a lifestyle choice or what you put on in the morning.

It’s your style, no one else’s- and that’s being mindful in style.

Today, I am once again working with local boutiques, and I couldn’t be more excited.  Sometimes you have to experience different things to realize you were right where you belong all along.

I’m grateful to come full circle- and that my love for merchandising has been rekindled.

Stop Telling Women To Smile

A week ago I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, notebook in hand and a coffee on the table.  I pulled out my mirror to see if I had anything on my face, quickly fixing my concealer that was out of place from my oversized sunglasses.

“Your makeup looks fine!” a stranger next to me declared.  I looked over, laughed, and continued to set up shop at my seat.

He didn’t stop there.  “You know, most men would say women look best without makeup.  It’s Sunday!  Don’t wear makeup!”

Newsflash: I wear makeup for me, not you.

I love to dress up, wear red lipstick, and don my Karen Walker shades.  Not looking for validation, on most days I simply want to write in peace; the last thing I want is to have strangers approach me to give me unsolicited advice or flirt poorly at a coffee shop.

Nevertheless, whether or not it was meant to be a compliment, it was still suggesting I change who I am or what I do.  That never sits well with me- flirting or not.  It’s manipulative, and it’s unwelcomed.

Here’s a comprehensive list of things women don’t need to hear from a man:

  • How to wear our hair
  • What clothes to choose
  • How long our hair “should” be
  • When to wear makeup
  • That we should smile

Maybe some women need the words of the opposite sex to gain their confidence, but I am not one of them.

“The sexualization behind telling women to smile is alarming. It makes women feel that we are only meant to be happy and pretty and it’s a passive way to engage into an unwanted conversation.” –

I’ve had ex-boyfriends try and dress me up in the shortest of skirts, 6 inch heels, and cleavage revealing attire.  That’s just not my style.  I’ve even had an ex ask me if I was going to a funeral because I was wearing all black.  Didn’t you know black is slimming and chic?  Just look at Audrey Hepburn.  I doubt she cared what other people said about her little black dress.

The guy at the cafe went on to later tell me how our meeting was “serendipitous,” in which I immediately rolled my eyes.

No, you just sat next to a woman and started telling her what to do and not to do.  Also, I have no interest in a divorced 50-something who was thumbing through his “Plenty of Fish” app.

Women can have it pretty rough out there, but as long as we hold our own and stick to our laurels, we will be just fine.

Just don’t tell me to smile.

Inspired by Stop Telling Women to Smile, a street art project addressing gender-based street harassment.

“Stuff” Doesn’t Feel Like a Burden Anymore

But it sure did for a while.

Unsettled and at the very bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, things that once brought me joy eventually felt like a heavy load.

It was, too- literally. I had dozens of boxes and car loads, furniture and donations. It was organized chaos (most of the time, anyway).

Thankfully, throughout my moves and transitions, my family and friends were extremely helpful. I was running from one thing to the next looking to find peace, not knowing I had to stand still for a while to find happiness within.

That said, I’m starting to acquire things. I own some furniture. I bought an extra pair of sunglasses I don’t even need. I feel settled, content, and at peace- at last.

Even if it were all to go away, I would still be okay- for now I know true home is within.

I wish this for everyone- as well as a life of purpose, not chasing. Of living, not waiting. A life meant to be enjoyed, not numbed out or run away from.

I hope you have a beautiful Saturday. 😎