Bachelorette

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Ah, another holiday weekend has passed.  Whether you spent it with family, friends, working, or enjoying the company of yourself, I hope it was as relaxing as mine was!

I joked the other day that I was having a Cat Lady Christmas, but after Bernice knocked over my coffee, dumped colored pencils into her litter box, and scratched a hole though my sweater, I decided it wasn’t a “cat lady” Christmas after all.

It’s a Bachelorette Christmas.

I ordered a pizza, breadsticks, and salad to prove it.

Could I picture having a pet to come home to every day?  No.  Am I responsible enough to clean up after it, play with it, take it to the vet, and be sure I actually do come home to feed it?  No.

I don’t remember the last time I bought actual groceries, unless you’re talking about pre-made dinners or odds and ends like cereal, almond milk, and yogurt.

Sure, I like pets… the same way I like kids.  I enjoy them for a period of time, but then I can give them back.  No, I am no cat lady.  I am not an old maid or a spinster, either.

I am a Bachelorette.

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Always seeking magic.

Let’s think about it for a minute.  While many women dream of white picket fences and starting a family, I dream of high rise apartments, writing a best-selling novel, solo vacations, and excitement.  While people are celebrating an engagement, marriage or new baby, I am celebrating moving to a new city, getting a new job or buying an expensive handbag.

Sure, those who are coupled-up celebrate these things, too- but they often do it together.  I do everything alone (and I love it).

I thought these things were a phase; that once I hit a certain age my nomadic life would be set aside and I would invest in starting a family.  That entails settling on a place to live, buying real furniture and putting someone else’s needs above (or equal to) mine. Hmmm.  I am not sure about that.

I enjoy my alone time, my career, writing and life experiences.  I’d absolutely love to find a partner who I can do those things with- or someone who would support me or live the same type of life I want.

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A gutsy girl, a bookworm. I am many things… but I will never be put in a box.

My American Dream is having a beautiful place in the city, a job I enjoy, the arts at my fingertips, enjoying amazing food and spending it with a loyal, supportive, loving partner.  I don’t have a desire for “stuff,” a car, 2.5 kids and dozens of people around me.

I want to live simply and happily- and I want someone who feels the same.

Over the past year I have begun to value minimalism, mindfulness and quality over quantity.  I never want to live in the suburbs and try to “keep up with the Jones’s,” nor can I picture getting married for the sake of getting married.  I won’t settle.

Until I find my own American Dream, I will consider myself a Bachelorette.  It’s a pretty good life, especially when you get to eat pizza on Christmas.

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Let Freedom Ring! 4th of July 2015.

Patience and Timing

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“Patience and timing- it’s all you’ll ever need,” a wise friend told me back in college.

Aside from the people, the thing I miss the most about NYC is being able to get anything you want, any time of day, any day of the week. There is always something open and there’s always a way to get there.

The New Yorkers I miss can always visit me in Boston, and I can always Amtrak back down to the city- but what is one to do when it’s Christmas Day, you’re alone, and the Stop and Shop around the corner is closed?

This Christmas I began to miss New York… despite often being very alone in the city that never sleeps.

Two years ago I spent Christmas on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, my old neighborhood in the high 90’s. While I know the joke is that Jewish people go to movies and eat Chinese on Christmas, my Jewish friends actually do this- so I did, too. Only it was fried rice and crab ragoon over Netflix.

It’s easy to be alone when you have so many distractions- in a city of millions, it’s also easy to see little pieces of magic even on your loneliest day.

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Lately I have been wondering what else I am missing about New York. Is it the comfort of the hustle and bustle? Is it the familiarity with the neighborhoods, the train lines, the bodega owners, the skyline and the crowds?

Finding your footing in a new city is never easy, and I have yet to find the simple joys that give me comfort in Boston. I used to run every time I felt unchallenged, lonely, overstimulated, stressed or fearful… but I refuse to act this way today.

Now, I choose to enjoy each moment, look for the magic and live one day at a time.

Just believe- something wonderful is about to happen.

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