“Being yourself ” today can be a scary thing in a world of so many mixed messages, expectations, fear mongering, and marketing. Just when it feels safe to speak up or “be yourself,” someone seems to shoot you down or makes you second guess that “you” you’ve been striving to embody.
Well, I’ve finally shed the final few things that have been holding me back from being my authentic self. For me, the most important element of being “Kristin” is simple: it is speaking my truth.
I need to be in an environment where it is safe to surround myself with people who allow me to speak my truth and can benefit from my stories.
As I feel safer and safer to share my story and speak my truth on a daily basis, the easier life has become- and the more I have been able to be of service to others.
As some of you know, I have been sober on-and-off since April 8th, 2011.
I’ve never publicly written about this before in fear of being both isolated or grouped together with other “sober people.” I don’t identify with any group, religion, or title- nor will I. I’ve tried it, and it didn’t work. You will never label Kristin or put her in a box.
Today, I am simply “Kristin, and I’ll take a coffee.”
My reasons today for not drinking are different than they were a few years, or even months, ago. I used to say, “bad things happen when I drink,” or “my body can’t handle it.” I used to make excuses, such as “I’m on medication” or “I’m on a diet,” but today, my answer is simple:
“I’m fine as I am.”
Over my seven years of sobriety, relapses, periods of thinking I was “normal,” and drinking for pure self-sabotage, I found one common theme:
I drank when I thought I couldn’t be myself.
Being “myself” used to be a scary thing. I used to water myself down, drink away my thoughts, and numb out my emotions. I used to fear my imagination. My creativity used to scare me. I was told “creatives are flaky” or “artists starve.” Again, that’s society’s stereotype, their lack of understanding, and their inability to think, create, or live on their own.
I get by just fine doing things my way. I tried to fit in their box, and it didn’t work- time and time again. So, with a clear mind and a lot of lessons under my belt, I’ll try the alternatives and create on my own.
Don’t listen to the others if their way doesn’t work for you.
Keep doing you. Keep speaking your truth. Your niche will find you.
Today, I wouldn’t want to water down any message; I want to be my authentic self to share my experience and strength with others.
I am happy to share that I finally love being myself- and I’ll do my best to help you love yourself, too.
If you think you have a problem a problem with drinking or need someone to talk to, please feel free to send me a message. You are never alone: firstname.lastname@example.org