A Woman’s Intuition is Always Right

You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you first meet someone?

That little sign that says, “stay away,” or even, “he seems a little douchey?”

I try not to generalize or stereotype (keyword: try), so I often used to ignore that gut feeling.

I give the poor chap the benefit of the doubt, despite his obvious attempts at overselling himself. Over the past 15 years or so I’ve seen the same patterns, over and over, and as soon as I do, I shake my head and think “damn it, Kristin, you already had this one pinned.”

Within the first few exchanges, if a man suggests going on vacation with you, talks about your future, wants to introduce you to his family, or takes you somewhere elaborate, run. Fun fast.

Listen to your intuition.

It won’t oversell itself to you.

Stop Letting Distractions Stand In Your Way

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Living life in limbo is inevitable from time to time, but today I had an epiphany:

When you’re working toward a goal, don’t try and fill your life with other things to provide comfort.

Keep moving.  Focus on your mark.  You’ll get there.

I chatted with a friend about this earlier today- we are both writers working on our own brands, yet we have both been guilty of letting distractions alter our mindset.  Why on earth would we let other people, places, or things stand in our way?  While she’s out in Los Angeles working toward her dreams, and I’m here in Boston working on mine. It was wonderful and perfect to connect with her about where I’m at right now, because she’s in the same spot, too!

Oh, I just love how life works out.  Just as we started to feel a bit irritable and discontent about our “distractions,” we both passed the tests and recognized that we need to get back to work.

People and situations will come into your life when they’re supposed to, but don’t try and manipulate the situation.  Whether you’re filling your time with a new TV series or going out on dates for no good reason, stop.  I’m serious.  Everything falls into place as it should, including those uncomfortable moments.  Don’t dig yourself into a deeper hole and get off track.

Each moment teaches you a lesson- so remember your goal, stay on your path, and you’ll be just fine. ❤

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Instant Gratification: Why It Doesn’t Work

We all want to feel good, right?  Sometimes it’s easy to forget that a positive mindset is ongoing work; we’ll never discover a “magic cure” or a key to happiness.

However, here is the real secret:

Happiness comes from within.

So, how do we create happiness within ourselves?  It takes a lot of work, re-framing our thoughts, and building a solid foundation.  Whether it’s a spiritual practice or health routine, finding a way to empower ourselves is key to long-lasting fulfillment.

Let’s think about instant gratification for a minute.  As a woman who used to go out and spend $400 on a handbag, spend money mindlessly at a bar, or go on dates to feel better when in an uncomfortable state, it always left me empty inside.  I always regretted my decisions, whether it was due to something I said while drinking, being late on a bill, or  never hearing from the guy again (and yes, sometimes all three were correlated!).

It’s not a very good feeling when you’re seeking validation from the outside.  Those handbags in my closet picked up dust, my mental health suffered from drinking, and I didn’t know how to function without validation from outside sources.

I had to stop, reset, and learn new tools to cope with being uncomfortable.

So, in October 2016, I took a month to do just that.  At the time, I had left New York City, attempted a life in Chicago, and had yet to decide to move to Boston.  With no assets to my name or home to call my own- not even a city to claim as mine- I had a completely blank slate.

I had no idea what to do; all I had was faith.

It took a few twists and turns to learn what I wanted out of life, but I worked with amazing coaches, leaders, and people in my support circle to help me see the good in myself when I couldn’t recognize it on my own.

Now, with a solid foundation, I am not only able to pass on what I have learned to others, but I no longer seek outside validation.  I am confident in the woman I have become.  Sure, I still like a nice handbag, but I learned the value in quality over quantity- in all areas of my life.

I hope I have been able to help you live beautifully through my writing this past year and a half, for this blog is a journey from the very first week I moved to Boston.  I am always here to talk, so please feel free to reach out if you’re going through a rough patch, are seeking guidance, or need a listening ear.

Remember: life is a marathon, not a race!

When you invest in yourself, others will invest in you, too.