Stop Letting Distractions Stand In Your Way

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Living life in limbo is inevitable from time to time, but today I had an epiphany:

When you’re working toward a goal, don’t try and fill your life with other things to provide comfort.

Keep moving.  Focus on your mark.  You’ll get there.

I chatted with a friend about this earlier today- we are both writers working on our own brands, yet we have both been guilty of letting distractions alter our mindset.  Why on earth would we let other people, places, or things stand in our way?  While she’s out in Los Angeles working toward her dreams, and I’m here in Boston working on mine. It was wonderful and perfect to connect with her about where I’m at right now, because she’s in the same spot, too!

Oh, I just love how life works out.  Just as we started to feel a bit irritable and discontent about our “distractions,” we both passed the tests and recognized that we need to get back to work.

People and situations will come into your life when they’re supposed to, but don’t try and manipulate the situation.  Whether you’re filling your time with a new TV series or going out on dates for no good reason, stop.  I’m serious.  Everything falls into place as it should, including those uncomfortable moments.  Don’t dig yourself into a deeper hole and get off track.

Each moment teaches you a lesson- so remember your goal, stay on your path, and you’ll be just fine. ❤

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Instant Gratification: Why It Doesn’t Work

We all want to feel good, right?  Sometimes it’s easy to forget that a positive mindset is ongoing work; we’ll never discover a “magic cure” or a key to happiness.

However, here is the real secret:

Happiness comes from within.

So, how do we create happiness within ourselves?  It takes a lot of work, re-framing our thoughts, and building a solid foundation.  Whether it’s a spiritual practice or health routine, finding a way to empower ourselves is key to long-lasting fulfillment.

Let’s think about instant gratification for a minute.  As a woman who used to go out and spend $400 on a handbag, spend money mindlessly at a bar, or go on dates to feel better when in an uncomfortable state, it always left me empty inside.  I always regretted my decisions, whether it was due to something I said while drinking, being late on a bill, or  never hearing from the guy again (and yes, sometimes all three were correlated!).

It’s not a very good feeling when you’re seeking validation from the outside.  Those handbags in my closet picked up dust, my mental health suffered from drinking, and I didn’t know how to function without validation from outside sources.

I had to stop, reset, and learn new tools to cope with being uncomfortable.

So, in October 2016, I took a month to do just that.  At the time, I had left New York City, attempted a life in Chicago, and had yet to decide to move to Boston.  With no assets to my name or home to call my own- not even a city to claim as mine- I had a completely blank slate.

I had no idea what to do; all I had was faith.

It took a few twists and turns to learn what I wanted out of life, but I worked with amazing coaches, leaders, and people in my support circle to help me see the good in myself when I couldn’t recognize it on my own.

Now, with a solid foundation, I am not only able to pass on what I have learned to others, but I no longer seek outside validation.  I am confident in the woman I have become.  Sure, I still like a nice handbag, but I learned the value in quality over quantity- in all areas of my life.

I hope I have been able to help you live beautifully through my writing this past year and a half, for this blog is a journey from the very first week I moved to Boston.  I am always here to talk, so please feel free to reach out if you’re going through a rough patch, are seeking guidance, or need a listening ear.

Remember: life is a marathon, not a race!

When you invest in yourself, others will invest in you, too.

Spreading the Message of Self Love

People always seem to come in your life at just the right time. This morning, that’s what happened to me. ✨

After getting a message from a friend out of the blue, we had a great conversation about self confidence, empowerment, and body image. She explained how self doubt is negatively impacting certain areas of her life, including her relationship with her boyfriend.

Instead of trusting in his love for her, she constantly questions whether or not she is worthy of his affection. To me, of course, this seems ridiculous. She’s a beautiful, talented, fun girl- and I wish she saw herself through my eyes. Nevertheless, I said to her:

“Remember: You are enough.”

I was told this over a year ago by a special friend, but it took me a while to understand what she meant. Now I get it- we all have our own unique talents and gifts, and we can’t be everything to everyone- however, it’s important to love and be enough for ourselves.

I could tell her this 20 times every day, but ultimately, she needs to believe it for herself.

Without a solid foundation, reframing your thoughts, and seeing life through a new lens, it’s hard to believe in yourself. Paralyzing, even. Through my own experiences and mindfulness journey, I’m confident I will be able to help her, and others, shift their perspectives and see themselves in a different light. I hope to help her develop so much confidence that it won’t matter to her what her boyfriend or his family thinks. She will love herself so much that she would be able to take or leave outside validation.

Now, I would never say, “ditch the guy!” or state that someone should be alone, but for my own happiness, I had to spend nearly four years on my own. I had to relearn who Kristin was. Sure, I dated (which provided great lessons), but I haven’t been in a relationship since 2014. I’ve learned to love myself, appreciate being on my own, and because of this, I am confident I will bring that much more to my next relationship because I know who I am.

Wherever you’re at in your own life, it’s important to remember that you must set a foundation to build upon before trying to grow. Whether it be with your relationship, family, career, or health, I am here to help give you the tools to feel at peace no matter what your situation.

Once you’re happy with yourself, the world becomes much more clear. Miracles begin to happen. And, ultimately, you’ll thrive- no matter what that means to you.

By combining skills I have learned through spiritual guides, DBT therapy, mindfulness, journaling, thought reframing, and my own intuition, I am looking forward to helping more and more women find their own beautiful life worth living- and time will tell how that will manifest. 💞