Dating is a funny thing.
Dating is awkward as it is, but it’s even more awkward when you’re sober. I used to drown my discomfort in a glass of wine, telling stories my date couldn’t follow, but since moving to Boston in 2016, I’ve barely dated at all.
Well, compared to when I lived in New York City, that is.
Sure, I’ve met people in various ways- traveling back from NYC on the Megabus, substitute teaching, through recovery circles, and on an app here and there. Each interaction lasted for a very short while, most likely because I detected their bullshit and realized I was something much different than what they created in their mind.
My default answer the past year or so has been “I’m not interested in dating anyone at all.” That’s actually not true, though. I would be interested in dating someone- but only if they were interested in a sober vegetarian cat person.
I’m done with pretending I am someone I am not.
I’m also done with changing for someone, switching my views, or doing things I’m uncomfortable with doing- and I’m certainly not going to pick up a drink just to make you feel more comfortable.
Part of recovery is learning to love and accept yourself for who you are- loving yourself for what your heart says, not the world around you. Despite being someone who prefers to stay in on a Friday night, sautéing up vegetables while drinking a seltzer, I’m confident there’s a lid to every pot…
I just might not be ready for mine yet.