For years I wanted nothing more than to be a “normal person.” To be a child with siblings and two parents at home. To play sports with my peers. To fit in with the kids at school.
But I was none of those things.
As an adult, I still don’t fit in with the “normal people.” I don’t go to Happy Hours anymore. I can’t casually order a drink with lunch. I don’t have a glass of wine to unwind.
Instead, I go to meditations, write by the river, have coffee with friends, and go to support groups. I constantly look inward. I find new ways to learn and grow.
Each day, I’m doing something healthy to strengthen my life- because today, I finally accept that is my way of life.
It has to be.
The other day I was talking to a friend about my network in Boston. When I moved here in 2016, my intention was to develop a healthy network of friends, and even though it’s taken nearly three years, I’ve finally done so. I finally stopped pushing people away- and I learned I can’t do everything alone.
In my circle of friends, we may talk about some heavy stuff, but that’s what we have to do to survive. To stay sane. To remain peaceful on a daily basis, especially amongst chaos.
Sweeping our problems under the rug does not help- and holding in our pain keeps us sick. I’m grateful to have a supportive network today who understands me, loves me, and is there for all the quirks, the dark moments, and the laughs.