A Supportive Network

For years I wanted nothing more than to be a “normal person.”  To be a child with siblings and two parents at home.  To play sports with my peers.  To fit in with the kids at school.

But I was none of those things.

As an adult, I still don’t fit in with the “normal people.”  I don’t go to Happy Hours anymore.  I can’t casually order a drink with lunch. I don’t have a glass of wine to unwind.

Instead, I go to meditations, write by the river, have coffee with friends, and go to support groups. I constantly look inward. I find new ways to learn and grow.

Each day, I’m doing something healthy to strengthen my life- because today, I finally accept that is my way of life.

It has to be.

The other day I was talking to a friend about my network in Boston.  When I moved here in 2016, my intention was to develop a healthy network of friends, and even though it’s taken nearly three years, I’ve finally done so. I finally stopped pushing people away- and I learned I can’t do everything alone.

In my circle of friends, we may talk about some heavy stuff, but that’s what we have to do to survive.  To stay sane.  To remain peaceful on a daily basis, especially amongst chaos.

Sweeping our problems under the rug does not help- and holding in our pain keeps us sick.  I’m grateful to have a supportive network today who understands me, loves me, and is there for all the quirks, the dark moments, and the laughs.

A Fresh Agenda

We all have our things.  For some, it’s chocolate, gambling, porn, or collector’s items.

For me, it’s paper goods.

This includes, but is not limited to, books, stationary, calendars, journals, and day planners.  If you can purchase it at a book store, I probably want it.

I told you that we all have our things.

The other week I indulged in a new day planner to jump start this new era- an era where I’m even more authentic, organized, and aligned with all things that bring me purpose and joy.  I threw away my 2018-2019 planner (where I had already ripped out entire months so I didn’t have to look backward) and decided to move forward with fresh pages.

That sentiment is appropriate for all aspects of life, isn’t it?

Although we can learn from the past, we can’t dwell on it.  My new agenda reminds me that my future is fabulous, no matter what the previous pages may have told me.

Being An Introvert Isn’t Isolating

Today I decided to debunk one of the biggest introvert misconceptions of all:

That introversion and isolation are the same thing.

I shared a status on Facebook from four years ago, when I lived in a doorman building on the Upper West Side.  Every time I walked in, and every time I went on the elevator to my 6th floor apartment, I had to make small talk.

Every.  Time.

Sure, it’s nice to be greeted or to have someone acknowledge you, but sometimes, believe it or not, you just want to walk in, go upstairs, and be left alone.  So, I would keep my sunglasses on, pretend I was talking on the phone, or keep walking straight to avoid the small talk.

After sharing my status from 2015, my best friend from my hometown commented:

“Thank you for this.  I cannot stand small talk, I would rather not say anything at all!”

She gets me.

Even though we live over 1,000 miles apart, those are the connections that mean so much to me- I would rather have quality friends who understand me than a large number of people who don’t.

Some people gain energy from other people, and others gain energy from being alone.  That’s the difference between an extrovert and an introvert.  In a city like New York or Boston you’re constantly surrounded by so many people, being stimulated left and right, that it’s easy for an introvert to get drained.

This is why I spend so much time in the park, outside, and journaling by myself.  Whether I’m reading by the river or hanging out at home with the cat, my recharge time is extremely sacred, and necessary, to maintain my sanity.

It’s completely different than isolating.

I’m positive that the world around me would rather have a recharged, calm Kristin than a snappy, reactive one- and that latter is what you’ll get if I don’t have ample alone time.

Dedicated to my fellow introverts and Rachel, who *always* gets me, no matter where in the world we are.