Being Mindful in Relationships: Setting Healthy Boundaries

Lately I have been thinking a lot about healthy relationships.

This isn’t limited to people who you would date- I’m talking about healthy relationships in every area of life.  It includes family, friends, mentors, coworkers, and even people in passing.  We spend so much time thinking about our physical health, yet mental health can easily be triggered and negatively impacted when we’re spending time around people who aren’t treating us in a way that is in our best interest.

Of course, we can’t completely avoid certain people or behaviors- but how can we set boundaries and interact with those people in a new, healthy way?

It’s up to us to make the change.

Over the years I’ve had a lot of “friends” who took their own issues out on me.  I’ve learned to step away, stopped taking their suggestions, and realized their behavior wasn’t about me at all.

The people I choose to let into my life lift me up, empower me, and accept me for where I am at.  They inspire me to keep doing what I’m doing, and would never try and make me doubt myself.

It can be hard to be alone at times, but remember- it’s better to be alone than to be invested in an unhealthy relationship.

Remember all the light you bring, and spend time with those who appreciate you.  They’ll help you shine even brighter.

Pick yourself up

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The holiday season has come and gone and a new year is upon us.

As December came to a close, I thought, “2016 wasn’t so bad.” I sat back for a moment and remembered the ups and downs; the times I felt lost, helpless and confused- but also how I felt when I picked myself back up.

This wasn’t a typical holiday season for me. I spent December 1st flying to Boston, my first week in Massachusetts interviewing for jobs, and my second week starting a new full-time role. While other people were busy preparing for Christmas, I was simply trying to get my life in order. Buying gifts, making holiday plans and traveling were the last things on my mind.

“I chose this life,” I kept reminding myself.

Moving to Boston was a gift in itself; after a hectic year I was ready for a fresh start. I’ve never been conventional, either. Traditions always gave me anxiety and social pressures made me avoid celebrations altogether. It’s not rare for me to spend the holidays away from my family… over the past eight years I’ve lived all over the country, far from the old traditions I grew up with.

That’s kind of how my whole life has been- an adventure and often a mystery. I’ve been searching for stability for the past few years, hoping to find my “niche” and place that feels like home. I have continually sought out people, places and things; but after things haven’t turn out how I’d hoped, I’ve learned to go with the flow.

I’ve also learned to be my own best friend.

As I am learning to be more mindful, I’ve come to realize the importance in staying positive and knowing that everything happens for a reason. Although I was lonely during the holidays, I used my free time to write and do the things I enjoyed. That time was used to make me stronger, prepare for the new year and learn that my own company is enough. Even after all the cross-country moves and times I have “started over,” it still takes time to accept that I won’t have a community overnight.

No matter what challenges you face, pick yourself back up and know that the best is yet to com. Even though I don’t know what 2017 has in store, I can’t wait to find out.

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