Categories
self discovery

Do Unmarried Women Really Live Longer?

Valentine’s Day has come and gone- the day full of Hallmark cards, chocolates, flowers, and sweet nothings.

If you’re unattached like I am, it’s another day to love yourself, eat candy, and remind your friends you care. I sent cards to far-away gal pals, bought a stuffed animal for my cat, and made myself scallops and fries on Valentine’s Day; sounds pretty perfect, right?

Lately it seems my friends are more concerned about me finding a date than I am. It’s usually the married ones. I just smile and say I’m not looking- however, I am open. I won’t rule anything out. Nevertheless, going on dating apps and searching for a partner isn’t of interest to me.

I like my life how it is, and I don’t want anyone to change that.

The truth is, I am not looking for a relationship. When I meet someone who matches my energy, however, I may reconsider.

Dating at 35 is much different than in your 20’s. Since being in my 20’s, I’ve seen friends marry, have kids, and get divorced. I’ve watched them have affairs and stay in unhappy marriages. I’ve had friends vent to me about their sexless love life and tell me they’re envious how I’ve been able to do what I want.

Well, it’s because I choose to live this way.

In your 20’s and even your 30’s, many people look for a partner because they think that’s what “you’re supposed” to do. But when you realize partnership may not be all it’s cracked up to be, you chose to love yourself first.

~

An article popped up in my feed this morning that I couldn’t help but share. I’m sure many of my Facebook friends would disagree, but I couldn’t help but wonder- are single women wasting their energy looking for a partner when their happiness has nothing to do with whether or not they’re coupled up?

Are they just searching to compromise, to have their identity shattered, and to settle for less than what they dreamed of?

You see a single woman of 40, who has never had children – ‘Bless, that’s a shame, isn’t it? Maybe one day you’ll meet the right guy and that’ll change.’ No, maybe she’ll meet the wrong guy and that’ll change. Maybe she’ll meet a guy who makes her less happy and healthy, and die sooner,” (Paul Dolan) reasoned during the panel.

Many celebrities and public figures agree, especially Gloria Steinem. “The two happiest groups are married men and unmarried women,” the famous feminist once stated.

Maggie Parker, Parade Magazine

Maybe unmarried women really do live longer. Maybe they don’t. Whatever the case, I can say the key to living a fulfilling life is to do what makes your soul happy- so if that’s going home to your cat or to a house full of people, do that. Everyone is different.

Listen to yourself.

Categories
empowerment self care

Pamper Yourself for You

One of my biggest pet peeves is when one of my friends makes the comment, “Ugh. I have to shave my legs because I have a date.”

Girl- why aren’t you doing this for YOURSELF?

Personally, I prefer smooth legs.  Maybe you don’t.  That’s fine; but pick a man who likes you either way.  

More importantly though, you don’t need another person to validate you.  You don’t need an excuse to dress up. You don’t need a special occasion to feel pretty.

Wear the nice pajamas.  Put on the fancy underwear.  Use the nice conditioner.  But please, please- do it for YOU– not him.

Men come, and men go, but remember- you will always have yourself.  Treat her right.

Categories
mindfulness

Cat Lady Christmas

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As I open my new notebook and begin to write, Bernice (AKA Bernie Sanders) jumps up next to me on the couch and begins to chew my headphones.  After she tires of this activity, she proceeds to walk on the blank white pages in front of me.

Even though I’m not sure if my company for the weekend understands that I would like her to stop disrupting my writing, her company is much more welcomed- and much less of a headache- than most people during holidays.

It’s a Cat Lady Christmas.

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Bernice guarding my notebook.

It’s usually easier for me to tackle life on my own than to worry about other people. Through the years I have had many short-lived relationships, a handful of longtime friendships, and grew up in a small family.  Since I was never surrounded by groups of people, I valued quality over quantity.

Christmas Day looks a lot like my minimalistic holiday– simple and stress-free.  While I would love to be home in Michigan with my family, this year I’m staying in Boston, enjoying my first (solo) New England Christmas.

Yesterday I ventured out to go shopping, binged on Netflix and Hulu, hung out with Bernice and ordered enough delivery to last me two days.

Ah, Bachelorette life.

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Christmas Eve dinner, Bachelorette style.

I decided to spend Christmas Day relaxing, exploring the city, eating and writing.  If that’s how I want to celebrate this holiday (which has nothing to do with hype or stress), then that is what I intend to do.

Family and friends told me they feel bad that I am spending Christmas alone with Bernice.  My take on it?  I have the best company around- myself, a four-legged friend, and my empty notebook.

Let the games begin.