There’s No Such Thing As “Bored;” Creating Your Own Life

“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.”

~Oscar Wilde

As a writer and artist, I’m personally offended by the term “boredom.”

“You’re not bored,” I always think when someone tells me this. “You just aren’t willing to use your imagination.”

As Berry Draper once said to her restless children, “only boring people are bored.” Although this is a little harsh, I agree with Mad Men’s leading lady.

Being “bored” is being blind to all the opportunities around us.

On Saturday, I spent the day walking around Boston. A few people asked if I was going to go visit my friend in Arlington as I did a couple weeks before. “No,” I replied. “I’m going to the Back Bay to have a ‘Kristin day.'”

“Doing what?” they wondered, perplexed.

I just looked at them. “Taking pictures, writing, window shopping. Meditation, relaxing.”

It’s shocking how people think there needs to be a grand reason. It’s also surprising to me how few people enjoy being alone. There’s always something to do, see, think about, or create. Whether it’s admiring the window displays on Newbury Street or taking a walk down Commonwealth Avenue, experiencing the world outside and the beauty all around is much more rewarding than sitting in front of a television.

I’d prefer to write my own story instead of watching someone else’s fictional version on TV.

If you ever find yourself into the “boredom trap,” just think- what haven’t I seen? Where haven’t I been? What haven’t I read? What can I write?

When you create your own days instead of waiting for life to happen, you’ll be amazed at what you find.

Love Yourself: The Importance of Speaking Your Truth

“Being yourself ” today can be a scary thing in a world of so many mixed messages, expectations, fear mongering, and marketing.  Just when it feels safe to speak up or “be yourself,” someone seems to shoot you down or makes you second guess that “you” you’ve been striving to embody.

Well, I’ve finally shed the final few things that have been holding me back from being my authentic self.  For me, the most important element of being “Kristin” is simple: it is speaking my truth.

I need to be in an environment where it is safe to surround myself with people who allow me to speak my truth and can benefit from my stories.

As I feel safer and safer to share my story and speak my truth on a daily basis, the easier life has become- and the more I have been able to be of service to others.

As some of you know, I have been sober on-and-off since April 8th, 2011.

I’ve never publicly written about this before in fear of being both isolated or grouped together with other “sober people.”  I don’t identify with any group, religion, or title- nor will I.  I’ve tried it, and it didn’t work.  You will never label Kristin or put her in a box.

Today, I am simply “Kristin, and I’ll take a coffee.”

My reasons today for not drinking are different than they were a few years, or even months, ago.  I used to say, “bad things happen when I drink,” or “my body can’t handle it.”  I used to make excuses, such as “I’m on medication” or “I’m on a diet,” but today, my answer is simple:

“I’m fine as I am.”

Over my seven years of sobriety, relapses, periods of thinking I was “normal,” and drinking for pure self-sabotage, I found one common theme:

I drank when I thought I couldn’t be myself.

Being “myself” used to be a scary thing.  I used to water myself down, drink away my thoughts, and numb out my emotions.  I used to fear my imagination.  My creativity used to scare me.  I was told “creatives are flaky” or “artists starve.”  Again, that’s society’s stereotype, their lack of understanding, and their inability to think, create, or live on their own.

I get by just fine doing things my way.  I tried to fit in their box, and it didn’t work- time and time again.  So, with a clear mind and a lot of lessons under my belt, I’ll try the alternatives and create on my own.

Don’t listen to the others if their way doesn’t work for you. 

Keep doing you.  Keep speaking your truth.  Your niche will find you.

Today, I wouldn’t want to water down any message; I want to be my authentic self to share my experience and strength with others.

I am happy to share that I finally love being myself- and I’ll do my best to help you love yourself, too.

If you think you have a problem a problem with drinking or need someone to talk to, please feel free to send me a message. You are never alone: kristinfehrman@gmail.com

The Spiritual Side of Money

Money used to be a scary thing to me.  Money is necessary for all of us to live, which can be very intimidating.  There’s good news, though: there are endless ways to earn it.  Endless!

Just the other week I was thinking, “how am I going to supplement my income when school is out for holiday?”  This was a fear-based thought.  Suddenly, I acknowledged it and re-framed my thinking.  I looked online, got some advice from family and friends, then decided to take action.  I was clear about what I was looking for, which hasn’t always been the case in the past.  I used to scramble, hustle, and take the first thing that came along- no wonder I wasn’t content in some of the positions I took.

Once I looked at my holiday week as an opportunity, not one, but two options presented themselves.  I also received emails out of nowhere from people asking about marketing work (which I have retired for writing and education).

Then, it clicked.  money isn’t anything to be afraid of.  Money is energy.

The more you put in, the more you get out- but I didn’t understand what that meant in the past.  I used to think hard work meant long hours, climbing your way to the top, office politics, networking, etc.  No.  You must work with your heart, not out of fear- fear of not enough.  You also need to work smarter, not harder.  Yes, success does come from hard work and a lot of time, but when you’re doing what you love, it’s effortless.  I found myself writing from 8AM until 2 in the morning on Saturday!  I only got up to go get food; yet it was the most pleasant day I’ve had in a while.

Opportunities begin to align when you stay true to yourself and listen to what soul your soul is saying- not the outside world.

We all need to pay bills, but there are endless ways you can do something you actually enjoy if you follow your gut and ignore your ego.  Remember that you’re of service to the world, and if you are co-creating with source / a higher power, your light will shine through and you will be rewarded.

The rewards may not always be monetary- at least not right away- but rest assured that you’ll always be taken care of.  Each day I feel rewarded after leaving school or working on my writing, but it’s on an emotional level.  These are things I would do for free! (but thankfully I don’t have to)

I have also been channeling Archangel Gabriel, the angel of communication, to help support my work.  Earlier this year I began following Melanie Beckler of Ask-Angels.com, where I have been learning a lot on connecting and communicating with our guides.  Archangel Gabriel looks over the creatives and messengers- the writers, teachers, artists, and journalists.  It’s interesting to see how angels can help us in our daily lives, including our work!

Additionally, I love using my crystals to help support my work, too.  I wear Citrine to connect with Archangel Gabriel and carry Red Jasper for grounding, Rose Quartz to keep me aligned with love, and Green Jade to attract abundance!

Remember, it’s all in your vibration.  Keep thinking positive- your energy will support you along the way.