Stop Letting Distractions Stand In Your Way

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Living life in limbo is inevitable from time to time, but today I had an epiphany:

When you’re working toward a goal, don’t try and fill your life with other things to provide comfort.

Keep moving.  Focus on your mark.  You’ll get there.

I chatted with a friend about this earlier today- we are both writers working on our own brands, yet we have both been guilty of letting distractions alter our mindset.  Why on earth would we let other people, places, or things stand in our way?  While she’s out in Los Angeles working toward her dreams, and I’m here in Boston working on mine. It was wonderful and perfect to connect with her about where I’m at right now, because she’s in the same spot, too!

Oh, I just love how life works out.  Just as we started to feel a bit irritable and discontent about our “distractions,” we both passed the tests and recognized that we need to get back to work.

People and situations will come into your life when they’re supposed to, but don’t try and manipulate the situation.  Whether you’re filling your time with a new TV series or going out on dates for no good reason, stop.  I’m serious.  Everything falls into place as it should, including those uncomfortable moments.  Don’t dig yourself into a deeper hole and get off track.

Each moment teaches you a lesson- so remember your goal, stay on your path, and you’ll be just fine. ❤

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Giving Too Many F’s

Tonight I have Book Club- the first Book Club of my life that I willingly decided to go to.

My friend and old roommate, Brenda, coordinates a monthly gathering with a group of her friends.  Like any book club, they chat about life, nibble on snacks, and discuss the book, of course.  Last year, when I was still new to Boston, I was hesitant to join groups or get involved with activities while I was “figuring things out.”  It took me a long time to feel like meeting new people; it’s never fun to chat with a group of seemingly together human beings, all while thinking, “what the hell am I doing with my life?”

A year has gone by and I’ve been feeling better than ever.  Honestly, too- no more putting on a happy face for the sake of appeasing others.  I’m no longer insecure about where my life is headed, and I’m no longer shy about expressing what I want out of life- even when it’s drastically different than the norm.  As I meet new people, my honesty gets bolder and bolder, and like Brenda would say, “there’s no such thing as too much information.”

That brings me to the book of the month: “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.”

Now, what does this have to do with me and my sudden change of heart about Book Club?

Everything.

When I moved to Boston I gave too many fucks.  Too many f’s about what people thought about me, too many f’s about whether I was happy with my job or not, too many f’s about whether I should go out with that guy on Tinder.  I gave too many f’s about whether or not my family approved of me, about the things I did when I drank, how I looked in that picture someone posted on Facebook, or whether or not the blacks in my outfit matched close enough.

I gave too many fucks about everything.

When I started this blog, I didn’t have much.  I didn’t have the job I have now, the apartment, the friends, or the peace of mind.  But I did have one thing- fearlessness.

I had enough ups and downs, mistakes, failures, and embarrassing moments to be shamelessly vulnerable.  So, with three packed bags and nothing to lose, Mindful in Style was born in my little Airbnb.

A couple of days later, I got my first job in Boston and met Brenda.

It didn’t take me long to get back on my feet, but it definitely took some time to feel comfortable in my own skin, even though I was putting my heart and soul into my blog.  I still questioned myself as I pressed “publish” and second guessed myself quite often along the way- but I kept writing.

But today, I really don’t give a F what other people have to say.

Things will fall into place no matter what- the difference is, how are you reacting to life in the meantime?  Are you giving too many F’s and putting your energy toward things that don’t really matter?  Are you following the crowd even though it doesn’t make your heart happy? Are you worrying for the sake of worrying? 

Needless to say, things in my life have changed a lot- but it began with my mindset.  Would life be as great today if I had continued to give too many F’s?  Nope,  I don’t think they would be.

So tonight I’ll head back to my first Boston home- The Nest- and share my own experience with giving too many fucks, fearlessness, and the power of vulnerability.  Today, I’m no longer shy to share my experience with new people; in fact, I am excited see who connects with my story.  Book club is no longer something to avoid, but something to embrace- just like my own vulnerability.

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In other news, it’s the Red Sox Opening Day! I’m wearing my Sox gear to work to support The Jimmy Fund.  I may be a Giants fan, but I still can love the Sox (and why would anyone give a F? 😉 ).

One Step at a Time

Setting goals for ourselves is an important part of life.  There are so many things we dream of- from an early age our parents encourage us to study hard, succeed in a sport or hobby, and get into a good college.  None of those things happen magically, though; we must take steps.

Over the years I have gotten discouraged when I didn’t meet my goals fast enough or see results immediately.  I’ve compared myself to others around me, only to question how well I was doing: but comparison is the thief of joy.  We each have our own path, and everything happens for a reason.  Life will never pan out the way we think it will- the Universe likes to surprise us (and that’s the fun part!).

As I have gotten older I have started to enjoy the journey and stop focusing on the finish line- after all, isn’t life about the little moments?

I’m currently working on a book and hope to become a full-time writer by the end of the year.  Writing has been a shining light in my life, and connecting with others gives me great joy and a sense of purpose.  Last summer I started reaching out to publishing agents, editors, and other bloggers to connect with to share my work.  I made a few connections, but it wasn’t exactly what I was hoping for.  That’s because it wasn’t time yet.

I have to remember to have faith and continue to take one step at a time.  I know the Universe and God have a plan for me- but they’re not ready to uncover it.  I still have pages to write and a journey to walk.

By writing a little each day, sending my work out to other websites, and engaging in personal development, I’m setting myself up for each next step.  It’s important to remember to celebrate each and every victory- no matter how big or small!  For example, it was exciting to hear from Thought Catalog last January after I wrote a post on minimalism– they emailed me out of nowhere and asked to use my work!  I’ve been writing for them ever since, and have recently starting contributing to Elephant Journal, too.

It’s easy to get impatient.  I’ve given up, backtracked, or gotten depressed when things didn’t go exactly as planned.  I’ve changed courses only to find myself going right back to what my heart was originally telling me.  Your heart will always guide you in the right direction.

Your goals, hopes, and dreams will happen when they’re supposed to happen; so don’t get discouraged.  Each day counts.  Make a list, chip away a little bit, and try your best.  Even when you’re feeling down (like I was), your faith will make you stronger- set your intention, believe, and keep going.

Even when the steps seem difficult to take, remember: they count.  Each and every step adds up to something bigger.

Keep climbing and believing in yourself; the world will believe in you too.