Although I am 910 miles from my hometown, I have been doing all of the things that make me feel joyful, safe and comforted. Visiting the beach. Spending my evenings reading a book. Taking walks along storefronts and getting a coffee. Drawing, coloring and painting.
Over the past year I’ve thought a lot about what makes me the happiest and at what points of my life I was truly content. It was before social life, material things and what others thought of me mattered. It was before I had to worry about money, what I would eat for dinner, or what the future would look like.
I was always happiest when I was mindful- when I enjoyed the moment and the simple things.
My mother is visiting in two weeks, and I am so excited. Over the years she has visited me in different places I have lived, but this time feels different. I feel like I can truly be myself and enjoy the time we have together. While living in New York I was so eager to go, to do, and to show her everything- I’m not sure I really enjoyed the moment. I always thought about what was next, whether work needed me, and hoped she was having fun.
I want to go back to that childlike place. That place I get into when I visit her in Michigan, enjoying hot chocolate on a chilly evening, watching movies, sitting on the beach and having long talks.
I want to be able to sit back, take it easy, enjoy what life brings me- not push to make life happen. I need to remember this, on a daily basis, in everything I do.
Today I wake up little a little ping of anxiety, thinking about what I have to do all day. I stopped myself and reframed those thoughts. Instead of thinking, “I only have two weeks to accomplish A, B and C before she gets here,” I thought, “first, I’ll start with coffee.”
Yes, I have a lot to do and figure out before she arrives. However, all I need to worry about is today- and even today, I will enjoy the moment, take on the tasks one at a time, and enjoy the simple things that make me remember the comforts of home.
Everything will work out how they are meant to.