Titles are Silly

Before I begin, let me just say: If I would identify with anything, it would probably be a “nonconformist.”  Ugh, even saying that irks me.

Not new age.  Not a fashionista.  Not a feminist.  Not a minimalist.  Not a liberal.

I’m a damn independent.

Titles limit yourself and your potential.

Although there are aspects I relate to in each of the above, I do not fully identify with them.  Life is all about balance.

Growing up, I was always the one teased for the music I liked, the guys I dated, the hobbies I chose, the stylish clothes I wore, and my dry, more mature sense of humor as a kid.  I even wrote about this five years ago for my friend Broke Ass Stuart’s website.  I certainly didn’t “fit” in Northern Michigan, no matter what I did.  After a while, after moving back for a couple of years as an adult, I stopped caring, started a fashion blog, and walked around Front Street in a feather skirt on random Tuesday afternoons.

Did I get stared at?  Yes.  Did women give me dirty looks?  You bet.  But guess what?  They weren’t making friends with people all around the country, working with amazing brands, and getting free clothes.

Dare to be different.

Anyway, if you can’t already tell, this made me bitter growing up (which isn’t a good feeling at all), so after fifteen years of bullying, I ran as fast as I could to a college where I didn’t know anyone.

Life has always been easier following my heart, not the crowd; even when I found myself alone in the process.

So, how would I be a “nonconformist” today?  Well, for one, I’m 33 years old and don’t date.  I have no desire to have kids, buy a house, or settle down.  My Friday nights don’t consist of happy hour or group activities; they’re spent reading, solo dining, or exploring Boston, taking pictures and gaining inspiration for my writing work.

So, back to identity.

I was on Twitter the other day and I saw someone’s bio.  It read something like this:

“Husband.  Father.  Son.  Friend.  VP at Important Company.  Lover of Beer.  Fan of Movies.  #1 Celtics Watcher.”

Rolling my eyes, I moved on.  Then, later that afternoon, I was on LinkedIn and noticed someone I respected (or so I thought) who used the word “junkie” in her profile.  Oh, no, girl.  No.

Gurus.  Junkies.  Mavens.  Director of First Impressions.  Digital Prophets (sorry, Shingy.  I had to).  Don’t even get me started on the title of “CEO” when someone has a freelancing company or 3 person business.

What is with the titles?  Why?

I suppose people want to identify with something; and in turn, they want others to identify with them, too.  However, it’s not necessary.  This isn’t the fault of these people, it’s society as a collective.

Why is fitting in so important?

Now, I would rather go hungry and fall behind on bills than work in corporate America (and I have), but there is a happy medium.  You can find a job you enjoy, a way to make money, or work with others in a way that fulfills your purpose.  But stop worrying about how it looks or what your title is.

However, I suppose, if declaring you are a “Dad, Friend, Movie Lover” fills your purpose and makes you feel good, that’s cool, too.  But please, don’t rely on these things to satisfy your own self worth.

You’re so much better than those titles.

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Can’t Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

So, I have some thoughts on the poor behavior of some of the men who live in the world.

I received a message from a guy I went to college with.  We have been friendly for years, but he’s always been flirty.  However, once he started making comments about my body, me losing weight, and my chest (referring to them as “puppies”), I told him to please stop.

I called him out on his behavior, saying his wife probably wouldn’t like that.  He told me he was “rolling his eyes” at my comment.

Okay, but would she?

Well, he can do whatever he pleases on his own watch, but I won’t condone the behavior.  The old Kristin may have played along, and perhaps I would have even been flattered, but not any longer.

I am on the female’s side.

I am ABSOLUTELY sick of the way some married (or attached) men speak to women who aren’t their partners.  Absolutely sick of it.

Wives, girlfriends, and mothers deserve better than the way some of these men act.  This isn’t up for discussion or debate.  If what you said to me made me or another woman uncomfortable, then it’s not acceptable.  We are not “too sensitive.”

If you’re bored and unhappy, leave.  Why did you even get married to begin with?  So someone else can take care of you while you go out and play?

This is one of many reasons I don’t aspire to get married.

There’s my two cents for the day.  Oh, and if I had a dollar for every time something like this happened, I could retire today and buy a house on an island.

Call them out.  Break the cycle. Let them know it’s not okay.  Someone has to.

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Gemini New Moon Intentions: Everything is About to Change

This New Moon is special.

It’s time to stop and smell the roses- for life is beautiful.  Society is what makes life stressful.  Not life itself.  We all have the power to live the life we love- the problem is, most people don’t realize this.

Falling under the sign of Gemini, associated with communication and the conscious mind, today’s June 13th New Moon at 3:43PM EST is the beginning, and the end, of the rest of your life.

Sounds kind of drastic, doesn’t it?

Honestly, not really.

These changes are internal.

Remember how you used to hold back as a kid, second guessed the things you said, or avoided creativity for the fear of what others may think?  Well, everything is about to change.

Big projects will come to fruition, you’ll gain confidence to use your voice, and things that used to scare you won’t any longer.

You’ll stop numbing your feelings and start using them as strengths.  You’ll use your struggles as lessons, and you’ll stop making the same mistakes twice.

Rushing will be a thing of the past, because you’ll start to recognize that what’s for you will not pass you.  Missing the train, rejection from a job, getting dumped by your boyfriend- these are all for reasons.

There is something bigger and better for you on the horizon.

So, sit back, and relax for once- with clear intentions, hard work, and clear communication, you will make your mark.

Just wait.  Trust the process.  Life is about to become even more beautiful.

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Full Circle- New Moon and NYC

My four year anniversary of moving to New York City is coming up on June 18th.  Is it still an anniversary if you don’t live there anymore?  Not sure.

Nevertheless, I flew in on a Wednesday night.  The following Thursday morning, I headed to my apartment on 98th and Broadway, sight unseen, where 10 boxes were waiting for me with the doorman.  I had seen the apartment on a Skype tour with my roommate/landlord, emailed and texted with the other girls who lived there, and while this action would not seem logical (or even safe) to most, it made perfect sense to me.  Mailing a check for $1,550 to a stranger?  Sure.  I just knew everything would be fine.

Intuition has gotten me through everything.  Everything.

The day I moved in, I unpacked a few things and headed down the street to get lunch.  I found a place nestled on Amsterdam and 96th with TVs.

There were more people than I would have expected at the bar, eating wings and intently watching some kind of game.  Oh- soccer.  I liked soccer.

I didn’t even understand the importance or care about the World Cup four summers ago when I moved to NYC, but it quickly became my favorite thing.  Why?  Easy- it was socially accepted to go to the bar at noon and eat nachos with cute boys on the Upper West Side.

I met one in particular- Moshe, but he went by Mo- who was from Toronto and lived just north of me on 111th.  We met on my first Saturday in the city when I went to the ‘dam (which has since closed) over eggs benedict and grilled cheese.  He asked me out to dinner that night, and soon after he became one of my favorite summer companions.  World Cup games, Long Island pool days, and Sundays in Riverside Park.

We’re still buddies.

That brings me to my weekend plans- and how much times have changed.

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On Friday afternoon I am heading back to NYC for the weekend- yet I didn’t even consider that it would be the four year mark of my big move.  It feels very appropriate; the New Moon in Gemini, a different Kristin, and of course, coming full circle.

It has not been an easy four years, but I am excited to enjoy a weekend in the city with an entirely new perspective.  Not one with a broken heart like the broken heart I had when I arrived June 18th, 2014 and when I left July 25th, 2016, but with a happy, whole one.

A heart that is grateful.  A heart that knows she doesn’t need boys, beer, or bars.  A heart that is content within herself.

I know my behavior was reckless when I lived there.  I know that.  I am grateful to have gotten out alive (quite literally).  However, those memories are pieces of my life that shaped me into the tough little cookie I am today.  I’ve learned I don’t need to be tough all of the time, though- only when I need to be.

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I couldn’t be told that, though.  I had to learn for myself.

Happy New Moon, everyone.  Let’s set intentions, dream big, and move forward- even when we second guess ourselves.  This is a time to keep going- to keep moving forward with those projects and goals.

I used to avoid success through dating and drinking, and guess what?  It didn’t work.  The Universe knew there was something bigger for me, and I trust that.

“It’s never too late- never too late to start over, never too late to be happy.” -Jane Fonda

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Along Harrison and 24th

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Oh, how time flies… and how things change (yet stay the same).

It’s hard to believe I have officially been freelancing for a DECADE.  Back in 2008, my friend Steve and I started a small marketing company where we bartered with local businesses in San Francisco.

Steve made a little “nook” in the bay window that looked out onto 24th and Harrison.  It was there where we worked on our first website for Starboard Marketing, and where we used to eat, drink, and be merry.  That year, we threw a Chinese-themed party for the Olympics Opening Ceremony, played Sarah Palin Bingo, and watched the Giants play terribly (but loved them anyway)- we had no idea what their fate would be in 2010.

Above his apartment in the Mission District we also brewed beer, lovingly referred to as “Harrison Brewing Company.”  We named our first brew, a blonde ale, after his golden retriever, Mackerel.  We also made a hefeweizen that year named “Obam’ale,” which we (probably illegally) brought to the polls with us on election night.

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We thought we may be able to nab the new ice cream shop below his apartment, which we watched open as the retro stools were installed and the signs went up. He got their mail delivered to his address before they got their own, and were excited to run downstairs and try their “Secret Breakfast” ice cream after they opened. That ice cream shop is now the famed Humphry Slocombe.

From massage therapists and local restaurants to fashion designers and mobile shopping apps, my work has definitely changed over the years.  However, my heart still feels the same- I will only work with brands, causes, and companies I am passionate about.  Life is too short to not to do what you love.

7 cities and 10 years later, I’m still loving entrepreneurship, writing, and cultivating connections all over the world.  I’m beyond grateful for having a wild soul and free spirit that made me fearless and ready to take chances over these past 10 years.

2008 may have been a great year, but 2018 will be even better. 

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Starboard Marketing, Mack Dogg Ale, and

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