A Few Good Friends

I’ve always been the type of person who kept her circle small.

Growing up, I had one best friend- we were both artists who shied away from the more rambunctious children.  We didn’t participate in the gossip, nor did we play rough.  We spent time drawing, chatting on the swing set, and using our imagination to create a magical world around us.

As I got older, my habits stayed the same.  I wasn’t invited to parties and I didn’t sit with the popular group at lunch- nor did I try to.

I’ve always done my own thing- but I have been fortunate to always have a few good friends.

Friends who always “get” me.  Friends who have my best interest at heart.  Friends who encourage me to be my best self- and who see the beauty within that I may not recognize on my own.

As an adult, I realize that I won’t be liked by everyone.  I wouldn’t want to be!  Not everyone is on the same path- and that is okay.  We are all on our own journey.

Today, I don’t have to take other people’s criticism personal, and I don’t have to engage or acknowledge their drama- because I know that the people who do matter to me are all I need.

A Woman’s Intuition is Always Right

You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you first meet someone?

That little sign that says, “stay away,” or even, “he seems a little douchey?”

I try not to generalize or stereotype (keyword: try), so I often used to ignore that gut feeling.

I give the poor chap the benefit of the doubt, despite his obvious attempts at overselling himself. Over the past 15 years or so I’ve seen the same patterns, over and over, and as soon as I do, I shake my head and think “damn it, Kristin, you already had this one pinned.”

Within the first few exchanges, if a man suggests going on vacation with you, talks about your future, wants to introduce you to his family, or takes you somewhere elaborate, run. Fun fast.

Listen to your intuition.

It won’t oversell itself to you.

Living Authentically

According to Jean-Jacques Rousseau, authenticity is derived from the natural self, while inauthenticity is a result of external influences.  You know- the ego, societal expectations, and materialism.

So, what is your natural self?

When you stop holding onto the fear of what others think of you, the magic starts to happen:

Authenticity begins.

When you live your life authentically, things start to fall into place.  The right people and opportunities effortlessly find their way to you.  The weight of the world seems to fall away.

For years I tried to water down the person I was due to fear of what people had to say about me.  I would tone down my message, hold back my truth, or justify simple things simply because of what others may think.

Often times, I had no real evidence of what they were actually thinking.

As I began to accept the person I am, I stopped considering the opinions of others.  Sure, it is important for me to be kind and considerate, but I also know when I need to set personal boundaries.  I stopped trying to fit in and embraced what fits for me.

I wrote this back in 2017, when I began my journey of giving less F’s about everything else and caring more about me:

When you’re in alignment with the person you are meant to be, you won’t fit in like you did before.  You will see the world much clearer, more serene, and with a sense of purpose.  The noise from the outside world will no longer affect you so much and you will begin to find ways to improve the world around you, not complain about it.  As you continue to discover your true self, remember that the positives far outweigh the negatives.  Although it can be uncomfortable at first, keep doing you- you’ll thank yourself later. 

If you’ve spent years trying to please everyone around you, here’s the sign you need to break the habit and start remembering the most important person of all: yourself.