Living Authentically

According to Jean-Jacques Rousseau, authenticity is derived from the natural self, while inauthenticity is a result of external influences.  You know- the ego, societal expectations, and materialism.

So, what is your natural self?

When you stop holding onto the fear of what others think of you, the magic starts to happen:

Authenticity begins.

When you live your life authentically, things start to fall into place.  The right people and opportunities effortlessly find their way to you.  The weight of the world seems to fall away.

For years I tried to water down the person I was due to fear of what people had to say about me.  I would tone down my message, hold back my truth, or justify simple things simply because of what others may think.

Often times, I had no real evidence of what they were actually thinking.

As I began to accept the person I am, I stopped considering the opinions of others.  Sure, it is important for me to be kind and considerate, but I also know when I need to set personal boundaries.  I stopped trying to fit in and embraced what fits for me.

I wrote this back in 2017, when I began my journey of giving less F’s about everything else and caring more about me:

When you’re in alignment with the person you are meant to be, you won’t fit in like you did before.  You will see the world much clearer, more serene, and with a sense of purpose.  The noise from the outside world will no longer affect you so much and you will begin to find ways to improve the world around you, not complain about it.  As you continue to discover your true self, remember that the positives far outweigh the negatives.  Although it can be uncomfortable at first, keep doing you- you’ll thank yourself later. 

If you’ve spent years trying to please everyone around you, here’s the sign you need to break the habit and start remembering the most important person of all: yourself.

Loving The New You

For years and years, I tried to hold onto the Kristin I once was.

I romanticized old lovers and bad habits, altered the person I was to fit with the people around me, and questioned who I was to the core.  I continually ran from myself, jet-setting to a new city only to discover I was still exactly where I always was.

You can’t escape your soul.

The same people or places I tried to avoid would resurface no matter what neighborhood, city, or state I was in- they may have had a different face, but they were always the same.

Everything I tried to steer clear of would manifest in one form or another until I learned two valuable lessons:

  1. I needed to love who (and where) I was
  2. I needed a new perspective

I couldn’t change what was going on around me, but I could accept where I was at- but most of all, accept myself.

Since I started writing about my sobriety, a whole new world has opened up.  I have stopped thinking I needed to sugarcoat my struggles, and I am no longer ashamed of the person I am.  The quirks that make me who I am are ones I want to celebrate- not hide!

Maybe that “you” who you love isn’t new after all, but it’s one who is authentic.  Embrace her- she’s worth it!

You Can Keep Your Opinion

I’m continuously baffled by the things that come out of other people’s mouths.

You can keep your opinion, but I don’t need it.

I’m talking about the small, petty things- things that are meant to critique others, bring them down, or to question themselves.  I won’t get too deep, but I’ll give a few examples that I heard in the past week:

“You should grow your hair out.”

“You should go without makeup.”

“You should wear more color.”

You know what I have to say?

“You need to stop shoulding on me.”

I struggle to recall times I’ve given such annoying suggestions to people.  I’ve never urged someone to change their style or to do something different with their appearance.  It’s just petty and, quite frankly, mean.

If people try and change the person you love (YOU!) then I would begin to question the people you surround yourself with.  My real friends like me for me- and those people love me for my black wardrobe, blonde bob, and pink lipstick.