2020: Entering The Decade of Self Esteem

Abraham Maslow considered self esteem as one of the higher needs in his hierarchy; but to me, it’s one of the most important.

While basic needs (such as physiological and safety) are at the bottom, love and belonging come before self esteem. Why? Self esteem is crucial to fulfillment.

If you don’t love yourself, accepting love from another person is next to impossible.

Even your basic bottom needs are often unmet when you have low self esteem- so why is it so far up the hierarchy?

This is especially true for those who have suffered from trauma or addiction. I almost titled this post “Rethinking Maslow’s Hierarchy,” but I realized my message is bigger than that. As I reflect on the past decade, the choices I have made, and the lessons I have learned, I realized I would take matters into my own hands. I would make a choice to make this next decade about maintaining self love, both for myself and helping others to improve their own self esteem.

Before you think that job or possession will make you happy, consider how low self esteem is standing in your way of achieving everything you want. Without it, it’s hard to succeed in the workplace, in love, and in life.

The other day I stumbled on a great piece by TheFix.com by Susan Peabody, sharing 12 ways to build self esteem and acceptance. For those who are in recovery, it’s very possible that our self esteem took a hit along the way. We viewed ourselves through the eyes of others and by our mistakes, our pain, and our addiction.

 “When the melancholic dejectedly desires to be rid of life, of himself, is this not because he will not learn earnestly and rigorously to love himself? When a man surrenders himself to despair because the world or some person has left him faithlessly betrayed, what then is his fault except that he does not love himself the right way.” -Soren Kierkegaard, Works of Love.

Society has sent us negative messages about ourselves, from how we need to look to the milestones we need to achieve to reach ultimate happiness. My experience has shown that even the house, the job, and the bank account will never satisfy us if we are not satisfied with who we are as a human being.

I’ve had countless friends and have known endless people who are discontent due to outside forces. Whether they’ve lost a loved one or are simply unhappy with their life, being able to recover from the pain and find joy in everyday life is the first step to improving ones self esteem.

As 2019 ends, reflect on how you currently feel about yourself. Think about what you want to change- because it truly does start from within.

Now is the time to let go to make room to spread your wings and grow.

You Are Not Who You Once Were

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2020 is approaching and an entire decade is leaving us.  As we move into the next 10 years, it’s interesting to reflect on where we have been and where we want to go.

If my life were to be documented on a piece of paper, such as a resume, a lot of people would ask “what exactly do you do?  What do you want?”  The truth is, I can’t be defined by any of my past jobs or experiences- by trial and error, I have spent the past decade living in different cities, trying out different careers, and making a lot of mistakes along the way.  I have struggled with my anxiety, alcohol use, and my mental health- but those aren’t things you would put on a resume.

Yesterday I was asked in a meeting what I was doing in Boston, despite my resume stating I am a writer and marketing consultant.  I told him about some of the work I did, but I left out the part about moving to Boston after a 30 day trip to rehab.  I didn’t list my “get well jobs.”  I didn’t say Boston played an important role in my sobriety.

So, I continued to share my relevant experience with copywriting and boutique brands.

It’s a shame we can’t be transparent about who we are and what brought us to the point we’re at today.  Truth be told, a major reason for me moving home to Michigan was to lean into the person I truly am, not the person I thought I needed to be on the outside to get by.

Although I struggled with finding my place in the world for so long, today I am no longer that person.

I am a writer.  I am a survivor.  I am a spiritual being who believes wholeheartedly on living a life of passion and purpose.  I don’t define myself by what I have, or where I’ve been, but what I can contribute to the world.

As a creative, it’s often a challenge to live a conventional life.  I used to try- oh, believe me, I tried.  Repeatedly.  However, each and every time, I was called to do what was in my heart- to write, to inspire, and to help others.  Whether it’s in a big way or a small one, I know my struggles and my experiences can help other people.  I’m confident I have lived a non-linear path for a reason.

The person I was yesterday does not define the person I will be tomorrow- and that goes for you, too.

Keep on living what is in your heart- when you tap into your authentic nature, the path will be revealed.

Empowering Women To Thrive… Not Just Survive

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This week I am starting to share the stories of women who inspire me.

After overcoming challenges, they each have done something unique and creative to impact the world around them.

Two years ago I met a lovely lady named Laché.  One fall evening, we were introduced through a mutual friend and quickly began chatting about crystals, meditation, and female empowerment.

Both in jobs we weren’t passionate about, we bonded over entrepreneurial ideas, common interests, and anything metaphysical.  We knew there was more to life than what we saw right in front of us, and it was comforting to know someone was on the same page as me.  From singing along at a HAIM concert to visiting every New Age bookstore we could find, she was an important part of my life in Boston.

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This past week she launched her gorgeous line of products on her website, LachéAuger.com.  A Massage Therapist, Women’s Holistic Healing Arts Teacher, Aromatherapist, and Yoni Steam Practioner, she has a wealth of knowledge in empowering women to love who they are while guiding them to heal themselves- mind, body, and spirit.

Laché will not only assist you with reactivating the divine femininity power within you, she has a beautiful line of products to make you feel wonderful both inside and out.

This week, all products on her website are 40%.  With each purchase, she will donate 5% to Days for Girls, a nonprofit that “increases access to menstrual care and education by developing global partnerships, cultivating social enterprises, mobilizing volunteers, and innovating sustainable solutions that shatter stigmas and limitations for women and girls.”

Meet Laché and read her story here.

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