Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been in major
loner isolation mode.
At first, it felt good. It was nice to go home after work and relax. I liked saying no to invitations.
It seemed like self-care to go on long walks with no one to answer to. I enjoyed getting a morning croissant by myself and eating it alone in the park.
Then, people start wondering what’s wrong. They start worrying about you. But nothing’s wrong; you’re just enjoying your own time.
But are you?
Even now, sometimes I am still scared to connect with people.
There’s a fine line between isolation and spending quality time by yourself. For me, I just realized it may be becoming a problem when I feel anxiety about responding to people who care about me.
But lately, I’ve just needed a break. To reset. To recharge. To decompress.
But now that I’ve recharged, I feel a little bit empty.
That discontent feeling I now have is a sign that I need more balance. My alone time is important to me, but connecting with others is important too. Sometimes I forget that it isn’t all about me, either- sometimes other people need help. They care about me. They miss me.
Sometimes it’s still hard for me to accept that.
For years it seemed easier to try to do everything on my own, so letting other people in is a big change for me. It’s uncomfortable. But, I’m working on it.
This week, my goal is to break out of my shell a bit more- and maybe even go get a croissant with another person.
Gratitude is a huge part of my daily life. There isn’t a moment I don’t notice something- anything- that brings me joy or makes me feel grounded.
Sometimes that isn’t enough, though.
Sometimes you just feel agitated.
Maybe your roommate left passive aggressive notes in the bathroom, or maybe someone pushed past you on the train. There are endless reasons for you to roll your eyes at the people in your life, society norms, or just the mere thought of human existence (it can’t just be me, right?). We all have those days; and that’s okay.
That’s when you need to practice self love.
Don’t beat yourself up for your bad mood- give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself when you’re irritable. Do something extra special- even if it’s just stopping for your favorite latte. These little things add up- and soon you’ll forget about the other little things that brought you down.
Whether it’s a phone call from a friend or a beautiful bouquet of flowers, remember- it’s the little things in life that bring the most joy.
Even when you’re not feeling upbeat or grateful, those simple pleasures will bring you back.
Lately I have been feeling lighter, fresher, and free- and my home reflects how I feel on the inside.
I noticed how my personal aesthetic has evolved over the past couple of years- from blacks to pale pink and gold, I’ve slowly brightened up my life and opened my heart a little more.
My new bedroom decor is a representation of how I feel on the inside, with simple luxuries and a feminine feel. My minimalist approach to my decor is practical and chic, choosing quality over quantity and a purpose for each piece.
As many may know from my writing, it has been a turbulent few years. The process of changing yourself on the inside, overcoming pain, and getting (but most importantly, staying) sober is emotionally draining, but coming home to a haven is imperative to my serenity.
I wrote about my leisurely morning on my other blog, Sobah in the City, where I share stories of self improvement and living sober and chic.
Life is a journey, and it’s even more meaningful when you learn to live beautifully.
Orchid: Trader Joe’s / Mug and Robe: TJ Maxx / Bracelet: Olivia Burton / Nail Polish: Essie “Let it Glow” Bedding: Primark