Since November’s so nice, I’m writing twice.
Before moving back to Michigan I was afraid I would feel alone; lost in a place I used to call home. That’s the furthest from my current reality. Since being back, I’ve filled my days with writing, a lot of time with Mom, coffee and lunches, plus a lot of great conversations with old friends.
It’s important to balance “me time” with my social calendar.
I had a lot of social anxiety growing up, so I kept to myself. With one or two good friends (who I still talk to often), I had a very mellow teenage life.
Something happened along the way, whether it was college or coming back for summers, when I felt the need to be out and about all the time. I worked in the restaurant industry from age 17-21, which is hyper social. As a sober person and overall introvert, that social anxiety has returned, but in an entirely different way.
Instead of that awkward teenager, I’m now a woman who knows exactly who she is- and that’s the difference.
The social anxiety is still there- though I may not be awkward and uncomfortable around most people these days, I still get anxious when I feel pressure to “get involved.” There are many events coming up, from author meetups to a book award festival, and those are things I’ll put my game face on for.
I know my goals, and I know the kind of people who align with my overall lifestyle.
Maybe I’ll become more of a social butterfly, or maybe I’ll always be be that girl who stays at home, writing in her leggings, chatting with old friends on the phone. Time will tell.
I don’t have to attend everything I’m invited to, and I need to remember I am not obligated to respond to every message or email I receive.
So for today, I’m doing me.