While living in New York I broke up with a filmmaker who lived in the East Village. After a few months of dating, he told me I was “nothing but trouble and problems,” only to proceed to say how lucky he was that I graced his presence, and that he was undeserving of my company.
This left me stumped. After the alcohol-infused argument, we never spoke again.
Today I realize he did me a favor on that December night of 2015.
I was pretty distraught with the breakup despite how he treated me. I thought it was all my fault. Then, knowing me all too well, my college friend Nessie sent me an article with a title so true, yet so hard to fathom, that I was finally able to move forward:
You Don’t Need A Man, You Need a Goddamn Warrior.
A warrior? This never phased me. I had just thought I was “too much.”
For the past few years I’ve been absolutely, completely, and unapologetically uninterested in commitment. I’ve seen what is out there, and I’ve worn my own shield of protection to fend off unwanted attention.
However, not everyone is going to try to go to war with me- maybe, just maybe, there’s someone out there who’s strong enough to love my quirks and see the beauty in my imperfections.
For a long time I was scared to share my truth with others- so I tried to act or be a chameleon. This never failed to backfire, leaving me in a worse position than if I would have been honest upfront. Yes, I have been wounded, but my struggles have brought me strength.
I am still healing, but when I am ready, I won’t settle for anything but a warrior.
There’s power in vulnerability!