Instant Gratification: Why It Doesn’t Work

We all want to feel good, right?  Sometimes it’s easy to forget that a positive mindset is ongoing work; we’ll never discover a “magic cure” or a key to happiness.

However, here is the real secret:

Happiness comes from within.

So, how do we create happiness within ourselves?  It takes a lot of work, re-framing our thoughts, and building a solid foundation.  Whether it’s a spiritual practice or health routine, finding a way to empower ourselves is key to long-lasting fulfillment.

Let’s think about instant gratification for a minute.  As a woman who used to go out and spend $400 on a handbag, spend money mindlessly at a bar, or go on dates to feel better when in an uncomfortable state, it always left me empty inside.  I always regretted my decisions, whether it was due to something I said while drinking, being late on a bill, or  never hearing from the guy again (and yes, sometimes all three were correlated!).

It’s not a very good feeling when you’re seeking validation from the outside.  Those handbags in my closet picked up dust, my mental health suffered from drinking, and I didn’t know how to function without validation from outside sources.

I had to stop, reset, and learn new tools to cope with being uncomfortable.

So, in October 2016, I took a month to do just that.  At the time, I had left New York City, attempted a life in Chicago, and had yet to decide to move to Boston.  With no assets to my name or home to call my own- not even a city to claim as mine- I had a completely blank slate.

I had no idea what to do; all I had was faith.

It took a few twists and turns to learn what I wanted out of life, but I worked with amazing coaches, leaders, and people in my support circle to help me see the good in myself when I couldn’t recognize it on my own.

Now, with a solid foundation, I am not only able to pass on what I have learned to others, but I no longer seek outside validation.  I am confident in the woman I have become.  Sure, I still like a nice handbag, but I learned the value in quality over quantity- in all areas of my life.

I hope I have been able to help you live beautifully through my writing this past year and a half, for this blog is a journey from the very first week I moved to Boston.  I am always here to talk, so please feel free to reach out if you’re going through a rough patch, are seeking guidance, or need a listening ear.

Remember: life is a marathon, not a race!

When you invest in yourself, others will invest in you, too.

About Kristin Fehrman

My name is Kristin Fehrman and I am a writer in Boston. I started my blog, Mindful in Style, to share my story with the hope of inspiring others to follow their dreams, discover their purpose, pursue their passions, and use their voice. This is my own story of living beautifully.
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