Life Through A New Lens: Full Moon in Sagittarius

This morning I watched one of my favorite YouTubers, Melanie Beckler, give her weekly angel card reading for the May 29th Full Moon.  I’ve been following her closely for the past year- particularly her readings and meditations- and it’s been both eye-opening and comforting to see parallels with her guidance.

After soaking in her reading, I was left with a few messages about the upcoming Full Moon and how it relates to my own life:

  • It’s okay to ask for assistance- our guides and angels are here to support us;
  • We must let the past go to step into our true purpose; and
  • Once we understand who we truly are, we will live an abundant life.

In this particular reading, she ended with the Archangel Gabriel card- the angel of communication and creativity.  There has been no doubt in my mind that I have been lead by this powerful messenger angel; although I used to be timid or shy when speaking my truth, something bigger than me has given me the confidence and grace to speak up.  Keeping quiet never served me in the past, whether it was holding back in my writing or going with the values or morals of those around me instead of my own.

I’m just me.  So are you.

I often wonder if I have wasted my time or talents over the years because I did the things other people “expected” me to do.  However, that thought has shifted; each experience, whether valuable to my interests or not, has provided me a lesson to share with others.  I know what it’s like to move across the country multiple times, work a variety of different jobs, call off a wedding, live on hardly any money or material possessions, live with much more than I needed, yet most importantly- I have learned to be comfortable in my skin.

No matter where I am at mentally, physically, and emotionally, I have learned to be comfortable. To honor my feelings. To know I am okay just as I am.

That is the biggest lesson of all.

Situations will continue to appear in our lives until we can heal from the past and let go of the energies that no longer serve.  Even though I have cleared the major “junk” out of the way, there are little triggers that appear out of the blue to test me.  That’s okay; I just have to be mindful not to let those triggers trip me up, get me down, or stunt my growth.

Although Memorial Day weekend is coming to an end, I am relaxed, rejuvenated, and ready to see the world through a different lens; a lens of beauty, hope, and optimism.

The past is gone, and now we have tomorrow- and a beautiful Full Moon to enjoy.

Hiding Behind the Skyscrapers and Dreams

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The beginning of the end of my New York era begins with a weekend in Hoboken.

Ah, memories.

It’s hard to believe it’s been two whole years since that Memorial Day.  It was my third time in New Jersey, second time in Hoboken, and first time eating a Taylor ham sandwich.  I had a week-long relationship with a Jersey boy, who had me over for a Memorial Day celebration which I ultimately ruined thanks to showing up late, drinking too much, and then sleeping through dinner- where I was supposed to make scallops.

Oops.

After two days across the river and one final goodbye to the Jersey boy, I took PATH back to the city on a bright Sunday morning, feeling empty inside.  Going home to no one, clueless as to what I would do with myself for the next two days, I immediately walked into an Astoria bar after taking the below picture.

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I hid my pain well- unless you were one of the few who saw the way I lived my life.

Although I was smiling in that photo, inside I was in pieces.  At that point I was almost ready to face myself and stop hiding behind the hustle and bustle, drinking and dates- but not quite.

New York is an easy place for dreamers to hide- but when those dreams are broken, it’s time to live in reality and create new ones.

I’m feeling grateful this Memorial Day to be able to make peace with my past.  I’m also grateful to finally say goodbye to the old Kristin- the Kristin who was so scared and alone.  The girl who ran toward comfort yet pushed it away.  The girl who wasn’t sure what she wanted, and didn’t know if she would ever find out.

The Jersey boy couldn’t fix me.  He wanted to try, but it only lasted seven days.  A job, apartment, friend, family member, or therapist couldn’t fix me, either.  I had to step out of the skyscraper shadow, look in the mirror, and fix myself.

and I am so glad I did.

“Manhattan. Sometimes from beyond the skyscrapers, across thousands of high walls, the fearful cry of a too-well-known voice finds you in your insomnia in the middle of the night, and you remember that this desert of iron and cement is an island of un-reality.”

-Albert Camus

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Solo in the Sunshine

…and there’s no place else I would rather be.

Yesterday was my phone-free day… and I must say, it was a success.  I have to admit that did have to be practical and carry it with me for directions, music, photos, and safety (hey, I was going to new territory), but not for browsing the web, texting, making calls, or killing time.

So, what did I do while I sat on the beach without my phone?

I enjoyed the beach.

Imagine that!

Rain was in the forecast so I headed down early- around 8:00AM- and arrived to an empty beach.  It was perfect, not to mention an easy ride on the Red Line.  I got on at Davis Square and off at JFK/UMass, which was just a short walk across a field, the street, and to the water.  😎

I had originally planned on M Street Beach, but this beach, Carson Beach, seemed like my cup of tea.  There was even a (recently updated) bathhouse and counter with snacks!

Whoever said city dwellers can’t enjoy the beach, or nature, are mistaken.  That is why I love Boston so much- I have the best of both worlds.

After taking a few photos, I put my phone on airplane mode, sprayed on some SPF 30, and sprawled out on my blanket.  Peace and quiet.

I looked down at groups of people playing volleyball, taking kids out on floaties, and playing catch with their dogs.

However, I was exactly where I wanted to be… with my favorite company in the world: myself. 💜