As I sipped my coffee this morning, I opened my notebook and set out my cards. Each morning I pull my cards for the day, which often inspires a post or represents a theme in my life. For the past three days I have pulled the same Goddess card: Kali. Representing endings and beginnings, the front of the card says “The old must be released so that the new can enter.”
I’ve had numerous endings over the past few months; from work to friends, I’ve let go of a lot- including negative thoughts about myself. It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve been trying to make room for the positive. This past week has been a great time of reflection, writing, and healing; my phone has been quiet, my email has been thin, and I’m feeling at peace.
However, I’ve been wondering: when something new will enter my life?
Well, we can’t trick or manipulative the Universe. We have to fully release the old for something new to enter. If we receive new, positive things in our life before we are ready, they will surely fall away.
Lately I’ve written about some of my relationship challenges. Through reflection and writing, I’m able to let go and release negative, stagnant feelings that have affected me. Throughout the years I’ve held onto old, toxic relationships for too long; although they weren’t in the forefront, they were still there in the back of my mind. I’ve been trying to truly, fully let go of the old in my life- old feelings, old resentments, old hope. Why did I continue to torture myself by keeping someone’s number in my phone or holding onto those old camera roll photos?
Time for a fresh start.
Relationships have been a distraction in my life ever since I was a teenager. My mom called me “boy crazy” growing up; similar to alcohol, dating clouds my judgement and alters my decisions. For example, I used to skip class to hang out with boys in high school, I’ve quit my job and moved across the country for a boyfriend, and I’ve abruptly traveled to New York City after an ex offered to buy me a ticket to see him that very day.
I’ve done some strange things.
Thursday is the New Moon, which makes the Kali card even more appropriate. The New Moon Solar Eclipse is in Aquarius, representing a positive turning point after the big changes we had to face in the beginning of 2018. We will finally be able to say “whew!” and give ourselves a break after months of letting go and releasing the old. As I look back at distractions, mistakes, and poor judgement, I feel a sense of both hope and relief.
The person I was yesterday doesn’t have to be the person I am tomorrow.
I am hoping for clarity after this New Moon. Although I know I need to take time to myself to heal (a lot of time), I’m looking forward to the next steps in my writing and my work. Dating may not be on the radar, but my career is. According to Forever Conscious, there will be a gentle, hopeful, and loving energy with this New Moon. Representing new opportunity and a fresh start, we can finally say goodbye to the old and start fresh.
Everything is starting to make sense now- all of the old, dense energy came to the forefront as 2018 began, paving the way for new beginnings after the New Moon Solar Eclipse. Although it was uncomfortable, it was necessary for change.
We never know what the future will bring, but that’s the fun part. Now, it’s time to have faith, work hard, and be patient: the Universe has amazing things in store.