Ups and Downs- and Getting Back Up

I was so excited for 2018 to begin.  I made a vision board (two, actually), rang in the new year with good friends, and went back to work.  Things were good.

Then, something happened.  I hit a wall.  Or, if we want to be poetic, I fell down.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been in one of the biggest lulls I can remember- one of those lulls where I couldn’t even muster to write.  This was probably one of the worst things I could have done, since writing is extremely therapeutic for me.  There are many things that triggered this downfall- the snow days, the time off work, finances, breakups, issues with friends, and winter depression- but then I realized: I’ve also been kind of a jerk.

I’ve been hard on people as I have been going through this “spiritual awakening,” and I think I’ve been more depressed than I wanted to admit.  So, as a defense mechanism, I’ve pushed people away and sat in my own misery.

As a “lone wolf,” I have insisted on handling situations by myself, spending time alone, and cutting people out of my life when things didn’t work my way.

But I can’t play the victim any longer.

It’s been no one’s fault but my own.  There was a string of events that happened since the end of the year that continued to build up- one after another.  Sure, some of the guys I dated hurt me, friends and I have gotten into arguments, and people have looked to me for support when I could barely support myself.  However, that is no reason to be selfish, cut people out, or avoid support.

It’s time to put on my big girl pants and own up to my side of the street.

This isn’t easy to write… but I have recently started to learn that it’s okay to let people in.  To really, truly let people in- not avoid phone calls, resist love, or decline invitations.  I know I have written about relationships and support time and time again, but instead of just writing about it, I need to own it.  I’ve learned over this past week that people are genuinely good, and do care about me.  Nobody is perfect- and I am definitely not either.

We all have more similarities than differences. 

I am confident that this hermit streak and wave of depression was placed into my life to make me even stronger for what is next.  I’ve been so stubborn for so long that I couldn’t even see it until now.

I am sincerely sorry to all of the people I may have hurt, and I hope to become a better woman thanks to this lesson.  Thank you to everyone who has supported me and checked on me these past three weeks.  I care about you and am forever grateful for helping to pick me back up.

Life truly is beautiful.

About Kristin Fehrman

Live beautifully.
This entry was posted in lifestyle, mental health, mindfulness and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Ups and Downs- and Getting Back Up

  1. Pingback: The Hermit Phase- Are You Going Through It? | Mindful in Style

  2. Pingback: One Step at a Time | Mindful in Style

  3. Pingback: Read This When You’re Feeling Discouraged | Thought Catalog

  4. Pingback: Rebounding: A True Story | Mindful in Style

  5. Pingback: Here Are 4 Easily Missed Signs You’re Going Through ‘The Hermit Phase’ And What You Can Do To Combat It | Thought Catalog

  6. Pingback: Here Are 4 Easily Missed Signs Youre Going Through The Hermit Phase And What You Can Do To Combat It | ViralNews.blog

  7. Pingback: Read This When You’re Feeling Discouraged – Daily Medical News

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s