The Path To Becoming Your Authentic Self


When you’re on the path to becoming the person you are meant to be, there will be many road blocks and challenges along the way.  Just because you may see the world differently doesn’t mean everyone around you will, too! 

Think of these road blocks as tests to challenge you and to see whether you are on the right path, or whether you have fallen into your old habits.  Are you handling these situations as you would have before, or have you developed new skills to better handle them?  It’s important to maintain a high frequency despite the bad energy that comes your way- these low vibes want you to fall to their level.  Don’t let them!  I have learned that the low vibes will continue to stick around until you show the universe that you won’t let them disrupt your positive energy. 

I’ve also experienced a lot of discomfort while making positive life changes over the past year.  It hasn’t been easy to live authentically, but I know that change is necessary for growth, learning, and my overall happiness.  

I’ve noticed several “growing pains” that, although uncomfortable, have been signs that I’m on the right path to authenticity.  Have you experienced any of these, too?

Becoming A Loner 

I’ve been much more comfortable in my own company over the past year.  I used to fill my social calendar with events, happy hours, coffee meetups, and dates- especially when I felt a void in my life.  

I’ve never been afraid of being by myself, though.  In fact, most of my life I have preferred it.  So why is it hard for me to sit with myself when I am feeling uncomfortable?  Over the past year I have sat with many feelings of loneliness- but those feelings were an indication that I needed to work on my relationship with myself (the greatest relationship of all!).

Cutting Off Unhealthy Relationships 

I would much rather live a peaceful life than spend my time combatting energy vampires!  I used to constantly give multiple chances to people who have made me feel bad about myself or tried to steal my joy, but life is too short.  I value myself and my time today.  Sadly, I have had to cut off many people, simply because they were not in alignment with the energy I want to exude. Today I am no longer comfortable with spending time with Negative Nancy’s who will find problems wherever they go. 

Boredom

Now what?  Once you have cut the negative energy and chaos out if your life, you may find yourself wondering “what’s next?”  Your life used to be filled with drama and excitement, but now it’s just… life.  And that’s okay.  I’ve begun to enjoy uneventful days and quiet evenings much more than I used to.  It may take a while to grow accustomed to this lifestyle change, but know that you’re on the right path to becoming the best you. 

Health Becomes More Important

I didn’t think a lot about my health when I was unhappy with myself.  How could I be? If I didn’t value myself, I certainly wasn’t concerned about caring for my body.  Something began to change, though- as I became happier with myself, I started to eat better.  Getting sufficient sleep became more important, too.  I used to live off little sleep, coffee, and nervous energy- but now I know that it only causes me to be grumpy, irritable, and impatient.  As I become more mindful of my body in the short term, I’m caring for my body in the long term, too.

You Feel More Feelings

Have you been feeling more emotional?  It’s possible that you have been numbing your true feelings with busyness, relationships, work, or addictions.  Have you faced your emotions or have you been masking them?

If your answer is, “I’ve faced them,” great!  Now you are much closer to overall awareness and self actualization.  There’s a good chance you haven’t faced these feelings, though.  In order to grow, you must recognize your emotions.  You no longer have to push them under the rug or be afraid of your feelings- vulnerability can be a gift in the healing process. 

You Become More Self Aware

Not only have you become more aware of your feelings, you’ve become more aware of who you are as a person, too.  You know your faults and the traits you want to work on.  You’ve acknowledged what is healthy for your life and what you will no longer accept.  

You’re Unapologetically You

You are what you are- and you won’t apologize for it!  I used to be a chameleon and fit in with many groups of people, but although this characteristic is helpful in business and basic social situations, I am much more selective about who I allow in my life today.  I wouldn’t want to fit in with everyone!  The people I surround myself with bring out my positive attributes, not tear them down.

When you’re in alignment with the person you are meant to be, you won’t fit in like you did before.  You will see the world much clearer, more serene, and with a sense of purpose.  The noise from the outside world will no longer affect you so much and you will begin to find ways to improve the world around you, not complain about it.  As you continue to discover your true self, remember that the positives far outweigh the negatives.  Although it can be uncomfortable at first, keep doing you- you’ll thank yourself later. 

Embracing Playfulness 

If you’ve been following along for a while, you probably know how much I love angel cards.  Just when I need an answer, my intuition (which I like to think of as a nudge from the divine) guides me to exactly the right card I need at that moment.  I’ve also begun to give other people readings, which is even more fun!  My connection with source has been one of the most comforting and clear indications that I am on the right track to living out my purpose, which is to help guide others and carry important messages.  But how?

One of the cards that repeatedly comes up in my readings is “Playfulness.”  Each time I wondered why- why would I get this card?


Then, it clicked.  I’ve been so concerned about the past and the future that haven’t been living in the now.  Instead of embracing playfulness, I have been taking life too seriously.

I needed a reset.

After a decade of working in business related jobs and marketing roles, my heart kept telling me it wasn’t right.  Not only did my heart lead me in different directions, so did my bosses.  They didn’t like when I challenged the way things worked or stood up for my creative ideas.  I knew I was wasting my time and talents.

It can be a challenge being an indigo child in any work environment, let alone in an industry where money and greed takes over.  I didn’t care about “goals” or sales numbers- I cared about authenticity.  

Throughout the years many of my jobs or projects were unfulfilling or seemed unethical, too.  How could I market or represent things I didn’t believe in- or worse, didn’t benefit people?  It was hard to play, live in the now, and feel good about myself when I wasn’t aligned with my purpose.

A month ago I put my foot down and decided to take a break.  I did a lot of thinking, meditating, reading, and praying.  During this time I barely wrote, hardly left the house, and certainly wasn’t social.  It was a very uncomfortable time… until I received the message.

One afternoon I opened my inbox to find an email from a school administrator about bringing me in for an interview.  Even though I applied for the job, had never thought seriously about working in a school; when I was a kid, I spent most of my time with adults.  I was the shy one in class who didn’t let loose and play; I was too embarrassed to show the world who I was.

Until now.

Shortly after, I was scheduled to substitute teach at three different elementary schools.  I was shocked, thrilled, and scared.  Although I grew up in that environment- my mother was an elementary school secretary- I had very little experience with large groups of children.  Yet somehow, for some reason, it felt like it was exactly what I should be doing.  My gut feeling told me I would be good at teaching, although I had never done it before.  However, I knew that my ten years of handling nearly impossible businessmen had toughened me up to effectively communicate with anyone.  You have a much better chance at getting your message across to children than trying to teach an old dog new tricks.

After my first day- despite feeling nervous and a little shy- I felt more alive than I have in years.  For the first time, I felt I was doing something meaningful in the workplace.  The very first time.  Each day got a little easier, and I felt more comfortable.


Spending time in a school environment has also helped to mend my own wounds, too.  Childhood was difficult for me; I was an old soul who was singled out.  I was too shy and insecure to let loose, be a kid, and play.  Today, I am beyond grateful to be able to make even a tiny difference in a child’s life; I can recognize those who are uncomfortable, struggling, or need someone to talk to.  I understand what it is like when you don’t know who to sit by at lunch, how it feels to be bullied, and to be different than the other kids.  Thanks to my own experiences, I can empathize yet also stand my ground with the kids who act out.  Without my childhood experiences and challenges in the workplace over the years, I wouldn’t be as patient and compassionate as I am able to be today.

While I don’t know whether I am going to pursue a full time role in teaching (we can’t plan our futures- we can only be guided), I do know that education is much closer to my destiny than anything I have ever done.  It goes hand-in-hand with writing, public speaking, and philanthropy- all passions of mine.  I know I am on the right path- at last.

I’m also grateful for the opportunity to work in an environment where play is embraced.  Instead of standing in the back of the class and watching everyone dance and have fun like I did as a child, I have started to join in… as an adult.  I could see some of the kids who were hesitant to dance watch me act silly, so they started to dance, too.

Thanks to the children, I am learning what it feels like to be even closer to consciousness- to still have that wide-eyed wonder that hasn’t yet been polluted by society.  It is a magical, warm feeling- and just because I am a grown-up, it doesn’t mean I have to let that magic go.  I will hold on to it each and every day. 💫

Thankful to See the Light


Happy Thanksgiving! 🍂🦃

It’s a beautiful day here in Massachusetts- the land of the very first Thanksgiving.  Just over a year ago I never would have guessed I would be settling in New England… but here I am. 

Yesterday I wrote about being thankful for growth and self-acceptance, which has been a daily practice for me in 2017.  I usually don’t give much thought to the holidays- being a (recovering) nomad and forever a free spirit, I’ve spent Thanksgiving by myself or with friends these past few years.  I have always felt more connected to spirit than to places or people- I am fine being alone and can make a home anywhere.  Both of my parents have their own lives and places to go, so I haven’t had a “home base” since my mother sold the house I grew up in back in 2014.  To me, holidays are simply just days; although it’s nice to have a reason to share it with family, I think it’s even more important to acknowledge gratitude 365 days out of the year.  

Even on the darkest days, there is always something to be thankful for.

There has been endless negativity in the media this past year (although I refuse to watch TV, I can’t escape internet headlines), from our presidential administration to the Hollywood accusations.  Each time I hear about another scandal, shooting, or attack, I am finally able to turn my fear into faith and my anger into gratitude.  It all infuriates me, but it also motivates me to speak up and do my part to be the best person I can be each day.

It can be difficult to stay grounded in a world that has become so chaotic- which is why I am especially grateful for the spiritual foundation I have developed this past year.  Am I religious?  No.  Do I follow anyone else’s guidelines or rules?  Never.  But, I have the best guidance there is: my own intuition, which is a manifestation of source energy.  Through this year of growth, I have learned to let go of the day- to-day earthly minutia and connect with something much greater.  

This year I have also learned I am what some may call a lightworker (the link to the video is awesome) and an empath.  These are gifts that we don’t learn we have when we are growing up; instead, people like me are considered loners, overly sensitive, temperamental, and even ADHD.  Empaths are prone to addiction and unhealthy behaviors to numb out the world around us, because the stimulation and energy can be too much to handle.  As someone who takes on the vibrations of everyone around me, I used to either stay home to avoid others or drink too much to tolerate the people around me.  

Today, life is all about balance.

I no longer spend time with people who drag me down- most of my friends these days also consider themselves lightworkers.    We have the need to help others, have a strong sense of purpose, and know we were put on this earth to carry a bigger message.

This year, I am thankful to see the light.

No matter what you are thankful for this year or where you are spending the holiday, please remember to remind yourself each and every day of the gifts in your life.  Even when this world feels crazy, know that you are protected.  

Just look for the light.

Thankful for Growth

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Last Thanksgiving in Traverse City, Michigan

It’s hard to believe that this time last year I was getting ready to move to Boston!

Last Thanksgiving I flew into Michigan to plan, pack, and purge.  As I mentioned in my second blog post, I packed extremely light before my move and was well on my way to becoming a full-blown minimalist.  People always laugh and think I am joking when I tell them I consider myself a minimalist, but I don’t know many others who have lived a full year on just one small closet of clothes and no TV, car, or computer (my laptop died a while back, so I’ve been writing on my WordPress app or at the library).  Less has certainly been more… much more.

I used to think “things” made people happy.  In today’s society, how could I not have?  As our nation seems to become greedier, I am more and more turned off by money and excess “stuff.”  After living with what I actually need and nothing more, I’ve become more responsible with my money, time, and space.  I’ve learned to truly appreciate what I do have and treat everything with care.  Minimalism has taught me to be happy with myself- not stuff.

Not only do I treat my things with care, I’ve learned to treat myself with more love and compassion, too.  It has been a fulfilling year of being my own best friend, but also a bit uncomfortable and lonely.  As we go through a spiritual awakening and become the people we are meant to be, we shed old habits, views, and relationships.  It’s been a year of ups and downs, but it’s also been a year of strength. 

I have better learned who I am, what I actually need, and what matters in life.

Before moving nearly one year ago, I spent much of my life listening to outside influences- not my heart.  My intuition always had an answer for me, but I was too nervous to follow its guidance in fear I wouldn’t fit in.  It’s true that I have always felt a little “different,” but now I consider my differences gifts, not flaws.  Today I wouldn’t want to be anyone else.

I used to spend my energy concerned about what other people thought of me- instead of using my creative talents, I hid them.  Instead of continuing projects, I stopped in fear of failure.  Conflicting views and opinions left me confused, anxious, and depressed- so when I moved last year, I decided it was time to stop.  Nobody knew me in Boston, so what did I have to lose?

I can’t control what others say, think, or do- so I might as well stay true to myself.

Although I am staying in Massachusetts this year, I will have my “family of intent” to share Thanksgiving with.  We all have the family we are born into, but we also have special people who are in alignment with our souls.  I consider this my “tribe;” the friends who have encouraged me to write, to be myself, and to follow my heart.  Once I learned to value myself, compatible people and opportunities began appearing in my life.  While much of my past has been shed this past year- old pain, fears, insecurities, and habits, I am so grateful for the new relationships that have helped strengthen and guide me along the way.

This year, I am thankful for growth.

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Thanksgiving Eve 2017, Harvard Yard

Nurture It and It Will Grow

Last February I bought a plant for my desk at work.  I’ve never been known to have a green thumb, but as I passed the flower shop in the lobby of my office building I was drawn to a Peace Lily

She sat on my desk and brightened my stressful, cold winter days.  After long weekends I would return to work to find my little plant lonely, wilted, and sad.  Feeling discouraged, I would give her water hoping she would perk back up.

Sure enough, she did.

My plant has been a valuable lesson for me to remember that we need to nurture in order for things to grow.  This is includes our work, our friendships, our creative projects, and most importantly: ourselves.

It’s easy to get discouraged when things don’t happen fast enough or when something doesn’t grow as quickly as we expect.  My Peace Lily has been proof that when I pay attention to something every day and nurture it, it will continue to live and grow.  It may have shed some leaves that were unhealthy, but it’s still alive and blossoming- just like us. 

11/11- Infinite Possibilities


Who else gets excited every time the clock hits 11:11?

11 is a master number and symbol for spiritual awakenings and the rising of consciousness.  It represents fresh starts, enhanced creativity, connectedness with source, and my favorite- manifestation.  Now that I’m closer to knowing what I want, I’m excited to use this time to practice what I’ve learned, while having fun creating along the way.

I have a friend in New York who will text me a screenshot of 11:11, at 11:11 from time to time.  I’ll do the same- sometimes we text one another at the exact same moment.  🤹🏼‍♀️

He got me interested in affirmations and the power of thought back in January 2015.  We met outside his art studio in Tribeca on a cold winter night and ended up spending hours talking about life, love, and old relationships.  After complaining about our exes for longer than necessary, he put a stop to it.  “We’re sending negative energy to the universe,” he said.  I didn’t think much of it at the time, but he was right.  It was from him that I learned how focusing on old love will only be a magnet to repeat the cycle and attract the same types of people.

He’s been a great inspiration to me for these past three years, and I wish I would have listened more to him when he showed me signs and gave me tips to tune into source and a higher power.  I’ve always been a superstitious person who has spotted synchronicities, doppelgängers, and magical connections for as long as I can remember… I merely thought it was coincidence.  Now I know that it always has been my own intuition, consciousness and power of thought, I just never truly believed it.

After meeting my artist friend I started becoming much more aware of my own thoughts.  We are all magnets of energy, which includes what is going on in our own minds.  When I see 11:11, I feel a direct connection and oneness with source- I feel it’s a little reminder to put me back on track when I start using my brain instead of my intuition.  My own head never seems leads me where I need to be!

As I become more confident in my own creations, I’m feeling as if it’s easier for me to accept the infinite possibilities that this powerful number and date signify.  Sometimes I listen to ego instead of my heart, which is when I need to take a break and remember the true intentions for my work.  As I listen to its guidance for me to continue taking steps in the right direction, possibilities feel infinite when I connect.

When you follow your heart and work with passion and purpose, everything else falls into place!

Struggle Brings Strength


Sometimes you need to step away from the life you’ve been living and reset yourself for the future.

It can be a lonely journey while you’re aligning with your true self.  Letting outside influence has blocked me from truly following my heart, finishing projects, and doing more meaningful work.  Doubts and fear have changed my path repeatedly over the past decade, but thanks the struggles, I now have strength to stand still.  Just like the moth, we have to struggle to escape the cocoon- our old self- to become what we are meant to be.

Over the past year I’ve been shedding my old beliefs, behaviors, relationships, and limitations.  It hasn’t been easy learning to act and view things differently than I have in the past.  I used to be defensive and took everything personally; now I’m trying to avoid attaching these negative “stories” to meaningless events.

We are all going through our own struggles, but one thing I have learned: happy people aren’t mean.  Love isn’t selfish.  When we align ourselves with our true beliefs, heart, and soul, compatible people and opportunities begin to appear.  I’ve experienced this many times throughout my life- the right people always come to me at the right time, the phone rings after I’ve been thinking about someone, or a job pops up out of the blue.

If you’ve been feeling confused about why you keep repeating the same patterns, it’s likely that you haven’t learned your lesson yet.  Despite moving to a new city last year, I still held on tightly to  resentiments and the people who hurt me in the past.  Unknowingly, I let my old mistakes and pain limit me from reaching my potential.

No matter how difficult your path seems now, try not to give up.  There have been many times this past year I have wanted to; I’m used to running away when life is hard.  Just three months ago I felt absolutely helpless- I learned I needed to find a new apartment with two weeks notice and didn’t have work lined up.  Figuring out how I could pull off finding and funding a new place to live seemed impossible.  Not knowing what else to do, I nervously sat in the park day after day drinking coffee, making phone calls, applying to jobs, and listening to positive messages from thought leaders like Wayne Dyer.  I can look back at those horribly uncomfortable days now and laugh, but back in August all I could manage to do in my spare time was pace the streets of Boston or sit by the ocean in between my legwork.

One day after writing and meditating at the beach, I was on my way to the library to do more work when the phone rang.  I never answer my phone while on the train, but for some reason I did.  It was a phone call about a work assignment for the following day.  Just when I had exhausted all of my worrying and felt like giving up, I saw a little bit of light.

Ever since that day, I have kept following the light.

Life may not unfold exactly how you expect, but that’s what is so exciting.  Living your authentic life for yourself- not for someone else- will lead you on the right path.  Keep shining… life will get brighter.  Enjoy the magic and surprises along the way!

Purpose Over Possessions

As I was journaling today I thought about a few conversations I’ve had with friends who are on similar self-discovery journeys.  Most recently, we discussed our crumbling culture in the United States and how technology has pushed us away from embracing human connections, gratitude, and simplicity.  Although our society may literally have the world at our fingertips thanks to smartphones, we are now longing for a deeper connection with both our planet and the world around us.  

We are seeking face-to-face interactions, the smell of old books, the beauty of the sunrise, the flavors of our meal.  We are beginning to realize that although it’s great to feel connected with our family and friends online, experiencing the moment is more important than documenting it.  “Things” are beginning to matter less, and meaningful connections to other people and mattering more. 

It’s encouraging to hear stories of the millennial generation breaking away from our society’s importance of material things and making life experiences, nature, and culture a priority over money, consumerism, and power. Money is merely a tool to get things done- once you think of it that way, it doesn’t feel like such a weight on your shoulders.

When our actions and motivations are aligned with love, money begins to flow easier, we feel lighter, and we begin to connect with the right people and places that will guide us.  

What are you doing to align with your purpose?