Over the past couple of weeks I have felt a shift in my energy. A new moon, the brisk fall air, and a change in seasons. Autumn is often a spiritual time for many of us, letting go of the past and releasing old habits, thought patterns, and letting negative energy fall away.
This energy shift also has come with another side effect: writer’s block.
My thoughts and feelings have been all over the place, from feeling calm and content to stir crazy and restless. I don’t usually feel this way when I consistently keep up with my writing and art, yet the shift has made it challenging for me to complete projects and have confidence in my work.
Lately I have been contemplating doing something more, something different- but I am not sure yet what that is.
Much of my inspiration over the past year has been reflecting on the past and the lessons I have learned and been able to grow from. However, focusing too much on nostalgia and my past can quickly lead me into a depressive, melancholy state.
Perhaps holding on to the old is comfortable because you know what to expect- even if it doesn’t suit you any longer. The pages of our pasts make us who we are today, but identifying too tightly to who we once were can block opportunities to the future. I have let negative self talk and criticism from others hold me back, only to find myself running in circles once again.
With my new cleansed energy, I was in need of inspiration.
Although my meditation practice has been helpful in rebalancing, I needed more. So, on Saturday I was inspired to head to Seven Stars bookstore in Cambridge to pick up some healing tools to assist with my energy work.
Seven Stars is a lovely little shop in Central Square, full of books, crystals, jewelry, calendars, cards, and more. I have known for a while that I wanted to work more seriously with crystals (another tool can’t hurt, right?) and was delighted by the large collection, different sizes, and reasonable prices. I felt like a kid in a candy store!
Although I am familiar with some of the healing properties of crystals, I still have a lot to learn. Before going, I Googled which stones were known to benefit a few difference aspects of life that I’ve been struggling with- mood, creativity, concentration, and recentering. I chose a couple of stones based on intuition, while selecting others for their healing properties. After leaving with a new deck of cards (Doreen Virtue’s are my favorite), a sunstone, rose quartz, clear quartz, opalite, and rhodonite, I headed to the nearby park where I meditate each day.
I shuffled my new Archangel Gabriel cards (the angel of creativity!) and closed my eyes. A warm fall breeze swept over me as I selected a card, leaving me feeling comforted and connected. I put my clear quartz (the “master healer” of the gemstones) in my pocket and embraced the sunlight shining down. As I looked down at the card I had drawn, I smiled:
“Have confidence in your creations.”
“Pour love energy-not worry energy- into your creations. This energy will attract everyone who will receive blessings from your work.”
Worry energy: that was it! I have been spending weeks doubting myself- but why?
I had been listening to the voices of my past.
Something in the park felt different yesterday afternoon. Was it a placebo effect? I can’t be sure, but I definitely didn’t feel as stir crazy. Perhaps it was the stone or the sunshine that assisted with my newfound serenity, but whatever the case, I decided to just go with the feeling. I sat on my favorite bench and began to write. It was deja vu, but with a different outcome. Over this past week I have started four or five drafts for a new post, only to get anxious, give up, and decide to finish it later. Then, it was clear to me- I’ve been hesitant to write because I have been letting go of past pain. My perception has been changing, and so has my energy.
I may not have finished my work from the week quite yet, but I did wake up today with a more optimistic energy. My thoughts were clear and my anxiousness began to drift away. My long sits in the park no longer felt like time fillers or a cure for my anxiety; it felt like connection. It felt like I was there for a purpose.
I went back to the park this morning with my coffee. Although small, I was inspired to create something to make me smile. I picked up a red leaf and began to spell out the first word that came to me: Love.
Perhaps, in the end, all we need to cleanse negativity is self-love and the willingness to let go of a past that is holding us back. Whether with cards, stones, meditation or time in nature, finding a way to connect with the universe is both healing and rejuvenating. Whether or not you believe it, we all have guides showing us the way; so don’t be afraid to clean that slate, recalibrate, and find a way to follow your passions.