It’s Not What You Do, It’s How You Feel

“But Kristin, don’t the things you do make you feel good?”

Of course they do.  Your happiness doesn’t depend on them, though.

Happiness is about a feeling within yourself. 

The good news is, you’re in control of those feelings.

Think about this: imagine how it makes you feel when you connect with an old friend or family member on the phone.  You experience joy, contentment, and happiness- right?   You may not be together, but you feel connected.  It’s a good feeling.

So then imagine when you’re scrolling through social media and comparing your life to what everyone else is “doing” around you.  It looks like they’re having fun, doesn’t it?  Chances are likely that they are indeed enjoying themselves, but it’s also likely that you were just as fulfilled (if not more) by connecting with that old friend than they were by surrounding themselves with a group of people.   These people may be going and doing, but often times I’ve felt more alone in a crowd than I have by myself.

You know the feeling of excitement before an event or big day?  It’s like that.  The actual event is usually not as great as the feelings leading up to it.  Hold on to those feelings and stop worrying about the outcome!

Society isn’t aware of how attached we as humans are to what is happening in the physical realm; to what is happening on the outside.  When I have connected with old feelings of joy or peace, I have felt content in the present moment.  Also, when I connect with the the now, the beauty around me, and the joy in the journey, I stop wondering about tomorrow and worrying about plans.

Life just begins to flow.

If you want to find peace in today, think of what makes you happy.  Go with the feeling, not the circumstance.  You’ll raise your vibration and attract even more likeminded people and situations.  Songs, smells, food, books, and places are wonderful for this.

I recently relocated back to the north side of the Charles River, which is where I first lived when I moved to Boston.  A huge wave of relief came over me as I got off at the Davis Square stop.  Although nothing particularly great happened to me on that evening at the train station, but it brought back a feeling of contentment that I somehow lost during my brief time in Brookline.  Is Brookline a bad place?  Did horrible things happen to me there?  No, but it was attached to negative emotions, low vibrations, and unhappy feelings.  I re-connected with the joy and optimism that I had when I first arrived in Boston- the feelings of hope, happiness, and a clean slate.

Every day we are new.

My happiness wasn’t dependent on my circumstances, but they were dependent to my feelings and my reactions.  You, too, have the ability to let go of past pain, doubt, and negativity- just hold on to the positive feelings, open your arms to abundance, and watch what happens.

About Kristin Fehrman

Boston-based writer. Living beautifully at Mindful in Style.
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