Yes, it’s Friday, but the “F” I am referring to is fall.
Although leaves are falling and the temperature drops, fall is a fresh start. Labor Day weekend marks the end of summer, and for that I am grateful. There’s always an expectation to be going, doing, and “having fun” during the summer months… which can be a rough period for an introvert.
I used to mask the uncomfortable summer season with drinking and dating, pushing my emotions aside, but neither of those things serve me any longer. They left me feeling even emptier, more anxious, and judgmental toward myself. Months ago, I decided it was time to “grow up” on my own: but boy, can that make me feel uneasy!
I called a friend on my lunch break today and told her how I was feeling. “Have you been kind to yourself?” she asked. I thought about this. No, not really. I’ve been beating myself up for not feeling happier, lighter, freer. Everything in my life is just fine, yet I was still feeling uneasy. It was time to be gentle with myself and honor my feelings of discomfort. This too shall pass.
As I continue to become a more strong, serene person, I know the law of attraction will bring forward the right people and opportunities; I don’t need to go and search for “fun” or things to do. I don’t need to know what will happen tomorrow. I keep telling myself to go with the flow, but society keeps talking about “plans.”
Today is the last Friday of the “holiday weekends” for the season, which I am also grateful for. I’m not a fan of holiday weekends. Actually, I don’t like holidays in general (some of you may remember my Cat Lady Christmas). I do enjoy having days off, but days off mean I have more time to think. Days off give me more time to reflect and sit with myself, which can be a scary place.
All around me, people are asking “what are your plans?” Why do we always have to have plans? Can’t we just be okay just being? I almost lost sight of how much I value my alone time; I almost felt depressed for not having “big plans.”
Autumn is the beginning of a new season: life slows down, things die. Old habits can end to make way for something better. This September is already off to a great start, too- I moved into my own little home along the Mystic River. With a shelf full of books, my own serene space, nature all around and Boston just a few stops away, I do have grand plans for this holiday weekend: to enjoy time with myself, in my new home, just being.