It’s been a quiet, peaceful, beautiful week here in Boston. So peaceful, that I have wondered if I should feel ashamed for being so happy being alone.
I recently discovered an amazing INTJ group for women on Facebook, full of hilarious, interesting, like-minded women. Lately I have been feeling isolated from the outside world; not because I am unhappy or that something is wrong, but because I have been feeling a strong sense of serenity in my own spirituality, and it’s been difficult for me to interact with those who are interrupting that zen.
Yes, this may be a little selfish… but I am doing the best I can to protect my peace. Anxiety has been a life-long battle, and while I am learning new coping skills to deal with life’s challenges, sometimes I just want to be alone, go to the shore, and settle in with a good book.
What a blessing it is to have people who understand! From topics relating to our fixations on certain people, our emphatic abilities to feeling happy as loners, this group has brightened my day. I don’t feel so alone! In fact, I feel more connected and hopeful than I have in a while. I’ve spent much of my life thinking I was different, but so have a lot of others, too. They just don’t always talk about it.
Over the past year I’ve written a lot about my mindfulness and minimalism journey, which has lead me to connecting with new people, developing meaningful relationships but also has isolated me from the materialistic world of consumerism, greed and “more.” A lot of the “more, more, more” mentality has lead me to depression, as it’s difficult for me to keep up and relate to those who care so much about the external factors in life.
As I connect with other INTJ women who feel the same way as I do, I’ve laughed, felt comfort, and a sense of peace. One woman said one of the best things I have heard in a while, in response to my post sharing that I’m feeling like a loner:
“I’m introverting a lot at the moment and I’m rather pleased about it.”
There’s a beauty in not feeling alone, even when you want to be by yourself!
So, with a new soundtrack to life and hope for tomorrow, I’ll put my headphones on and find joy my own introverting. Life is all about balance- so there’s no need to feel ashamed for just wanting some alone time. I’m sure I’ll poke out my head and be social sometime soon.